Can the courts allow a certain amount of time to work things out before divorce?

Question

I am writing as I was served with divorce papers last Thursday. This deeply saddens me. More than anything, I want to reconcile our marriage. We have a beautiful baby girl with another due in January. I have fear that I am losing my whole family due to this. This is taking a huge toll on me both spiritually and financially. I want nothing more than to prove to my wife and her family (who is orchestrating much of this), that I am on a good path to finding God and providing a future for us. The papers state that I would need to be present in court by the 23rd of this month. My daughter’s first birthday is today and I’m unable to speak to or see her. And it appears that she is not allowing me any rights to be involved in the pregnancy or birth of our 2nd daughter. I suppose my question is this: Can the courts request mediation or counseling in Texas to see if we can work this out? 6 months, a year…it doesn’t matter. I would just love to have ample time to prove myself to my wife.

Answer 1

See an attorney, pronto. Respond to the complaint for divorce by disagreeing with the plaintiff's statement that there has been a breakdown of the relationship. Laws vary by state, but generally when there are children involved, it takes a longer time to finalize a divorce Get the court involved immediately by requesting joint physical and legal custody of the child(ren) AND court-arranged counseling, mediation, whatever they call it in Texas. Of course, you and your spouse will have to pay for the counseling, or it may be added to your court costs.

Laws vary by state, and the only responsible advice you should get on Yahoo would be to see a local attorney who practices family law. I know attorneys are expensive; perhaps you could get some assistance from Legal Aid (varies by state and locality).

In the meantime, please work at keeping things between your wife and yourself, and your wife's family and yourself, on the highest plain of civility, courtesy and respect that you can achieve. This will go far in getting the Court and other interested parties to listen to you and give a fair hearing to your issues.

Good luck; marriage is not for the faint-hearted.

Answer 2

If you wish to work things out, you will likely need to arrange that with your wife. The court can't force her to stay married (in most states).
A court cannot enforce mediation or counseling, and even if they could, don't you think that this would only only harden your wife's heart?

I might propose a separation prior to divorce. If she is bent on divorce, there may not be much that you can do. Even if you do divorce, there is nothing that says you will necessarily be unable to reconcile things in the future.

If you try to change yourself just to impress or convince a former spouse, chances are that it won't work. If you wish to change because you sincerely wish to, then perhaps you will find yourself a better life no matter what happens.

I don't think that break-ups are often the result of a single person's attitude. Nor are they often the result of a spouse's family. Usually both parties have some share of the reason.

Become who you really are, and perhaps you'll be able to show your wife that you have something to offer. If it works out, great. If not, you'll need to move on.

Mediation is simply a way to avoid lawyers in the divorce process and only works if both parties are able to come to agreement as to how things will happen --- who gets what, what sort of arrangements are made for visitation and such. If you can do this, you can avoid the financial and personal costs that will be involved in a divorce proceeding involving courts and lawyers.

My spouse and I divorced some years ago. We went through mediation. Today, we live in the same house, and are both parents to our children. We will unlikely ever re-marry, but we can get along. We lived apart for about five years. Things were rough, an I almost succeeded in suicide. Still, in the end, it was the realization that we needed to come together to support our kids that made a real difference.

I can't promise you any particular results. Just be the best person you can be. If you try to force an outcome, that will likely be the least likely thing to happen.

Blessings,

--Dee

Answer 3

Divorce is a very sad thing. It can be a heart-wrenching decision. However, there comes a point when you must accept your wife's decision and move on with your life.

In answer to your question, courts don't get involved in forcing counseling or reconciliation. That is a decision that should have been made long ago - before your relationship reached this point.

Do yourself a favor - go to court on the 23rd, make sure you have court ordered visitation rights with your children. You can still be an influence in your childrens lives...and they NEED you as a father. Your wife has made this decision - so stop beating that dead horse. Focus on the children and on being the best father you can to them.

You don't need to prove yourself to anyone. Just be a good person, tend to your children, love them, see them as often as you can...and pay child support.

Answer 4

I just looked up TX divorce laws (which is what you SHOULD be doing instead of asking here) and the ONLY time a judge will grant a mediation period is for a for a No-Fault based grounds.

As I said before it all depends on why she is divorcing you. If she has said you did something and this is a Fault based divorce then no you will not be grant this time.

But trust me if she really wants out then no amunt of time is going to help and will only make her hate you more. My advise let her go.

Answer 5

it will depend upon your wife. The courts generally are more than happy to grant time. Divorces usually are long drawn out processes, especially if they are contested and involve child custody & visitation issues such as you've described. It all rides on your wife - I would not get too pushy though or she will have her lawyer get a protective order. Difficult to patch anything up if you cannot communicate. Hopefully the court will at least grant you visitation of your children or if you wish, joint custody, should reconciliation not prove viable. The courts themselves will not push for reconciliation, the judges and magistrates are not marriage counselors and the courts and lawyers view divorce cases as mainly hostile and a headache to all parties involved.

Answer 6

I dont live in Texas, but I know here in Maryland the law is that you have to be legally seperated (not living together or sleeping together) for an entire year before the court will grant you the divorce.
If I were you I would ask you wife to sit down and explain everything to her that you said in your question. It's obvious to me that you want to reconcile your marriage, and be a part of your children's lives. & if you do not reconcile your marriage, Im sure the court will grant you rights to your children.
Whatever you do, dont loose hope in the Lord. Keep your faith strong and he will pull you through. Remember that what happens may not always be what we want, but its always whats in God's will for our lives.

Answer 7

maximum states have a "cooling off" era to provide the only filing a probability to imagine issues over. The waiting era is diverse for each county. once you pass to courtroom on the twenty third, tell the choose that you opt for a probability for reconciliation. see you later as she does no longer have a restraining order (order of safe practices) filed on you and her safe practices and that of the toddlers or no longer in jeopardy, the choose will evaluate it and would amend the petition for a tribulation separation. Get your self a legal specialist because the non everlasting custody, visitation, placement, infant help are also going to be determined both at that listening to or the subsequent and till you comprehend the legal mumbo jumbo, you may want to finally end up walking out with no longer something! My 2d husband spouted each and every of the time that he become on the righteous course of searching god and doing top. He continually suggested one element and had such an excellent style of excuses for why he did the different! Please excuse the undesirable flavor in my mouth for interpreting that line on your submit. I say instruct IT. moves communicate a lot louder than words. a lady receives noticeably drained of unfulfilled aspects! you opt for sufficient time? i might want to provide you with one hour. you may want to amaze your self what you may accomplish in 60 minutes in case you utilized your self to moves as a replace of dropping helpful time arising with excuses. in basic terms my opinion from previous adventure.

Answer 8

I'm not from, or in Texas, but if the courts don't require counseling prior to divorce, then you should request it. Your wife may refuse to go, but at least you know that you did your level best to save your marriage. I've been there, and tried to save a marriage, but she wasn't interested.

Answer 9

depending on the reason why your wife would want a divorce, if her reasons are petty, the judge can and will encourage people to get counseling, keeping couples together is always in the best interest of the children.

Answer 10

You know what? Life doesn't work that way. You can say that you're on a good path in life (screw the "god" crap and stop lying to yourself) but they would be complete idiots to allow someone back into their lives that has previously caused them alot of pain.

Thats life. You made your bed and now you have to lie in it.

You've already had your time. Its too late. Once you sign those papers, its done.

And if you don't sign those papers, they can still deny you visitation with your children if they feel the need for it, and she can get a divorce anyway in 7 years with or without your consent.