I am very shy and self-conscious. I used to have an eating dissorder and have difficulty trusting people. I have never been in a relationship or even kissed a guy. I am definetely straight and I have had opportunities, I just never had the courage or a big enough urge. I like guys, I have had a very liberal and open upbringing and I enjoy being hugged. But I just don't feel like I want to have sex. The thought of it terrifies me.
Am I abnormal?
2007-10-15 20:14:08 · 20 answers · asked by Amber 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Being a virgin is a good thing.
2007-10-15 20:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you're not. If anything you should be commended for not allowing yourself to get pressured into a situation you don't want to be in. When the time is right for you, you'll know it & it all will come quite naturally.
It may be you'll never be comfortable with it & that's ok too. I have an aunt who was a virgin when she died at 83. But all the kids loved her because she was always hugging on & praising them. I've forgotten over half the guys I've ever dated but I've never forgotten how good I felt around her or how wonderful her hugs were.
Normal is just a word for the masses. Abnormal just means out of the normal. Normal is boring & predictable. Be who you are & don't let anyone tell you it's wrong, weird, etc. The world needs more people that march to a different drummer.
The fear is there because it's something you've never experienced yet the extremes are so in your face through the media it seems frightening. But trust me when & if you're ready it will seem the most natural thing in the world. Don't let anyone make you do something just because they think you should.
2007-10-15 21:01:57 · answer #2 · answered by syllylou77 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you are not a freak - gosh I hate that word - you have some issues that much I can see. You may have low self esteem and that's what really terrifies you. Being intimate with someone involves baring your all not just physically but also 'spiritually'. It's the giving of yourself and that empowers someone to hurt you. You fear rejection too I guess. most of us aren't crazy about it. In your case I would suggest a counselor. This is not just about sex. With professional help you can sort out these issues but honey never be pressured to having sex - just do it when you are good and ready not matter what your age is. There is NO expiry date on this one.
2007-10-15 20:27:09 · answer #3 · answered by Scarlet 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Everyone's different, and if that's who you are, don't let people change that.
I'm turning 17 soon and all my friends are in relationships. Although it's a different scenario for me, especially because I'm a guy, I can relate to you at least a little. Some day, I believe that I'll find the right person, someone who won't pressure me to do anything (from taking her out to having sex with her) for her. If I may suggest, I don't think you're abnormal, but my heart does go out to you for feeling like you are.
Everyone's different Amber. You just have to love yourself for who you are.
2007-10-15 20:42:00 · answer #4 · answered by Link 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think you're very smart, sex isn't all it's cracked up to be and waiting for that right one is the best thing you could ever give yourself. You'll be fine when it happens at the right time, you'll just know. No one can tell you when it's right but your body will know. Trust your instincts they won't let you down.. Good for you, you should be proud..not embarrassed..Good Luck
2007-10-16 01:40:03 · answer #5 · answered by chantale 31 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow...i would love to take you out...with the world as ****d up as it is...you still happened to stay out of a sexual act. that is admirable, exemplary. Girls/women today are so easy...(i know this already offended a couple of 'em). They are so quick to jump in bed with me.../ anywayz, before i get a man-hating frenzy started, How are you doing today? Sadly, well, No, alot of men would say you are not normal due to the fact of the way women are these days...i wish being a virgin at your age was normal...but....anywayz, its okay don't worry about sex, don't rush, don't feel bad. The man of your dreams will come to you..(or sometimes you have to go to him)...but one day you will meet him and you will get married...IN A WHITE DRESS symbolizing your virginity...not like today's women who have sex at age 14 and stay on birth control to they marry and stop the pills and throws the baby at the husband...claiming its his...anywayz, you are blessed, i don't know you but you are truly blessed, and your husband or that special someone will be surprised....sex shouldn't be the basis of a relatoinship...but now and days if the sex isn't good the relationship doesn't last..seems to be the only reason people do get in a relationship now and days...well good luck and don't worry about it....
2007-10-15 20:29:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. My friend got married when she was 24 and she was a virgin. I am sure it is more common than you think.Trust me, you should save yourself until you know that it's absolutely the right time. If you are just sitting on the fence and think that he is the ONE, and just do it, you'll regret it and get stuck with him ( myself as an example) and when the real MR RIGHT comes along, it won't be special anymore. Think carefully bc once it's gone it's gone.
2007-10-15 20:34:59 · answer #7 · answered by Cam T 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honestly you are not abnormal but the best thing about your situation is that you can never miss what you never had...It's good to hear that you are still a virgin but the question of the year is...Do you want yo lose your virginity..?
2007-10-15 20:24:13 · answer #8 · answered by strickly2deep 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No! Save yourself as long as you can, and maybe when Mr. Right comes along you will have a change of heart and want to give it a try. Just trust yourself, you will know when its the right time!
2007-10-15 20:23:54 · answer #9 · answered by Nikki87 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are to be respected for your abstinence .
When you are fond of a potential mate, I would suggest you see a Counselor about your fears before progressing into marriage.
2007-10-15 20:29:42 · answer #10 · answered by Hope 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋