I'm happily in a relationship. How do I get outside men to stop being attracted to me?

Question

I'm in a devoted relationship right now, and I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. The problem is, even though they know I'm in a relationship, I have a lot of guys and men of various ages at work and at school that are attracted to me, and I hate it. I don't do anything to attract their attention and everyone knows I'm in a relationship, but they seem to disregard the fact and continue to try anyway, like it's a game. I'm only 17, and most of the time it's significantly older men in their mid-twenties. This is really bothering both my boyfriend and I, and I want it to stop for both our sakes. Any advice?

I'm in a devoted relationship right now, and I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. The problem is, even though they know I'm in a relationship, I have a lot of guys and men of various ages at work and at school that are attracted to me, and I hate it. I don't do anything to attract their attention and everyone knows I'm in a relationship, but they seem to disregard the fact and continue to try anyway, like it's a game. I'm only 17, and most of the time it's significantly older men in their mid-twenties. This is really bothering both my boyfriend and I, and I want it to stop for both our sakes. Any advice?


Edit: Also, I've already made it clear in both body language and in conversation with them that I'm not interested, but they don't stop. That's the problem.

Also, just to clarify. I dress conservatively, don't talk to the guys, and don't give out my number or anything ridiculous like that. These people come out of nowhere, and it just bothers me.

Answer 1

I am happily married and have always been in a stable relationship.
I'm a guy Magnet!!!
Face it, YOU Glow from within, you are happy and they want what you have. Just Say thank you, but I'm very happily off the market!

I wore a ring at work when i was dating my husband to be.

Men see a beautiful, happy gal, and they are attracted to that.
YOU have what few people have.
Just be happy and don't tell your b/f of the guys who hit on you, just keep turning them down, tell them you are taken, and extremely happy.

some guys just like the thrill of the chase, or getting something someone already has........only to dump her.

IM me for more info mystic_gift @yahoo.com email

Answer 2

Re-read your question. In the first line you say"...right now," Even you think it is temporary. Your words belie your assertion that you are not available. "...I am in a relationship..." does not say " I'm taken." It only says, "I'm busy!" You've got to put the right message out if you want the respect you are saying you want.

Also, you're only 17. How can you possibly know what "a long time" is? Lighten up and enjoy the prom. Don't be in such a hurry to be "all grown up." Life has some dramatic changes when the "real thing" comes along.

If this is truly "Mr. Right" you need to show the world that it is. Dress down. Become less noticeable. It's always intrigued me that women dress to "knock men for a loop" and then don't understand why they are being looked at. Try to fake the contented smile that women wear that tells men "don't bother, I'm happy." As a couple you should be turning "in" toward each other and turning away from "outsiders".

Once its real - men will stop.

Answer 3

Don't wear clothing or act in a way that says 'on the market'. If you're having this issue, conciously or not you're probably sending out either verbal or non-verbal ques that you're avaliable.

Most men are timid about asking girls out, so if a bunch of men are comfortable approaching you, something you're doing or they're seeing or reacting to is abnormal for just an 'average' girl.

Whatever you do, DO NOT try and keep 'just friend' guys around, where you'd expect of them more then a random guy on the street. You need to cut out any and all mixed messages you can send. Don't wear outfits that show the world what you have (if it's something you only want your man to see, why show it to others anyway?).

As others have said, be firm about not being interested and people will get the clue. However it's important you acknowledge any messages your sending to the world. Don't be like the one girl I know... she whines every day about men looking at her chest, but she has full D breasts, and wears shirt that barely miss her nipples on the side of the cut and go 1/2 way to her belly button.

You want to do the opposite of that. You want to figure out what you're doing that's giving mixed signals (and if some of these guys are your friends, don't be afraid to ask them what that is) and you want to nix that.

I'm not trying to be rude, it's just the simple truth... if it was one person, it might be their fault, but if multiple people as you say are after you, it's most likely... as uncomfortable as this is to tell someone... something you're doing. Find out what it is, and stop it.

Answer 4

This isn't Like a Game, as you stated, it is both, A Game, and THE Game, silly, girl ~ it's called flirting!! You could learn a lot if you were a bit more observant of nature - there are many preening, then fighting, male birds in most gardens when the mating season arrives in springtime. For human males, the mating season is year-round so, live with it. When you're married and have grandchildren, you'll be pleased to know men, other than your husband, find you attractive! Your husband's ego will be flattered to know that other men find the wife, of his choice, worth flirting with. I'm a widow with grandchildren, older than you, and if someone doesn't flirt with me, at least once a week, I suffer from Major Depression (joking ~ but, only, about the depression).

Answer 5

Unfortunatly you can't. Most men just don't care if you are attached or not. If they find you attractive they will flirt with you, hit on you, and generally be the pigs that they are.

All you can do is tell them that you are in a comitted relationship and that you are not interested.

If you work with these men then if they continue to pursue you it is sexual haressment and you should report them.

The guys at school are just idiots, maybe tell them they should try to hit on someone that is not in a relationship and ask them to stop messin with you.

I hope you get them to back off, but you do need to know that if you are an attractive young woman you will be hit on often.
Try to take it as a good thing and let it be a boost to you and your boyfriends egos. At least you both know that you are a desirable and beautiful woman.

Hope you are able to deal with these pigs and not let them ruin your day.

Good luck

Answer 6

If other guys are attracted to you, this can be a good thing. If your bf trusts you, then you have nothign to worry about. I mean if you are a beautiful girl, guys are going to be attracted to you anyway for whatever reason. If your boyfriend messes up, that lets him know that you can find another guy if you wanted to. I'm glad to hear that you're happy in love though. I can only dream of being happy one day. There's honestly no way to stop it. If it's at work, look up your harassment policy if they go too far. They're usually not allowed to tell sexual jokes and make sexual gestures, etc. If it's at school, same thing, except tell a teacher or something. I mean you just can't stop it. Just ignore it and move on , and you will continue to stay happy; you and your boyfriend.

Answer 7

It is a game. People sometimes don't want to see other people happy. Misery loves company. But you have to be strong and hold your ground. With in time it will wear down, but never give an inch. For the most part they want to test your loyalty and if you break it they won't wait to tell. Don't even bother your boyfriend with the flirtations any more because you may lead him to be insecure. In the long run you will gain the up most respect for your loyalty.Don't even let them know that their flirtations bother you because the more you try to stop it the worst it will get. Haven't you already noticed that

Answer 8

You must be a very sweet person.Not much you can do except learn some good phrases.For those guys who are nice say ,oh thank you Im flattered but Im in a good relationship.And to those creepy guys tell them buzz off bozo.Or just call them pervs or old goats.Maybe they will get the hint.You both need to relax alittle about it and not take it to seriously either.If you are cute and a nice person you will get hit on all your life.So just learn to defuse it with kind or unkind words depending on the situation...

Answer 9

It is a truth whether you accept it or not that most guys and men are like that.Any woman or a girl who is good-looking and attractive is the centre of attention of today's guys and men.Whether you are in a relationship or not is not the concern for such people.They are just living a vegetative life without any principles or ethics.For them woman is just a means of enjoyment and gratification.They don't think that woman are also human biengs who have emotions and desires.What can you do of such people?You have to just ignore and ignore and ignore and ignore.The more you get disturbed by them, the more chances are that they will start thinking that their motives are being fulfilled.This is your weakness and not theirs.So it is upto you to remain calm and tranquil and unperturbed by such stupid people.

Answer 10

there is no excusing some people, but they are out there and stopping them may prove more difficult than just developing a good response to them. You could try, "Thank you, but I don't step out on my relationship." When dealing with men too old for you and who know you are committed, reminding them their lechery is unwanted, and illegal because you are under 18.

Or, if you have a wicked sense of humor, use the T-shirt idea of the first answerer.