I have been with my bf for about two years now. We love each other very much and get along very well, except that he has jealous tendencies that cause bumps in our relationship. Which of course upset me. It has been an on going battle with my bf over my two very close guy friends. He very much dislikes that i talk to them and suspects occasionally that i cheat on him with them! Its not true, and just when i thought that we have talked things over and they will be better, that i have convinced him that i have not cheated on him, he gets jealous again. I understand he is a bit insecure and needs reassurance. He doesn't trust me tho, and I'm trying my best to make him see that he can trust me when hes never even had any reason not to trust me.These guys are just my close friends that I've known for awhile, one is gay (which my boyfriend doesn't believe) and both are from different countries. I don't know what to do. All i do is talk to my guy friends on the phone yet my bf cant stand it.
2007-10-15 18:49:41 · 4 answers · asked by Tina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's a problem, a serious one.
Probably beyond anything Yahoo answers will provide.
You have a serious trust issue looming, if it's bad now, it will get progressively worse over time, unless you deal with it.
I'd consider professional counseling for both of you, (a church, pre-marriage, something.........ANYTHING).
Unless you deal with this, it will destroy your relationship, him, and damage or destroy you.
Believe it or not, we need input from other people in our lives, (I'm NOT talking about cheating, friendships, what you are describing..), he seem to be so insecure in himself that he's threatened by this.
Has he ever cheated on you?
Does he feel as if he had any other friends that were women that he would be more likely to cheat on you?
It's common for people to project their fears and inadequacies on their partners, I can't encourage you enough to get him help, (you too, you've put up with him and need to understand what the problem is for you to be able to help him, and to heal whatever hurts he's caused you)
If he refuses counseling, or says his problems aren't that bad , Get Out Now! (this may seem brutal, but disaster is headed directly toward your relationship, you have no idea the amount of pain and devastation distrust can cause).
Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings.....
Luck
2007-10-15 18:57:05 · answer #1 · answered by spam_free_he_he 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first I think that it is awesome that you have other guy friends other than your boyfriend although it makes you boyfriend jealous. That is so good. You shouldn't feel that it is a bad thing if you do. Your boyfriend is very insecure it seems. But you can't do anything to help him because as you can see no matter how much you tell him that you are cheating on him he still doesn't believe you. You are right that he needs reassurance but, you can't reassure him. That confidence in you has to come from within him. That is a problem that he is going to have to deal with himself. Now you can continue to explain yourself even though you aren't doing anything wrong, if you want to. But, let me just say that you can talk until you are purple in the face but you have to let him come to terms with his own insecurities and work on improving them himself because there isn't anything you can do. Talk to him about why he is so insecure and why he lacks confidence. Not why you have friends other than him that are male because there is no crime in that.
2007-10-15 18:59:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It feels like he's at a loss for words. It feels like he would not opt for to be contained in the courting with the aid of dedication. If he would not opt for to loaf round with you because he's loosing his children that in basic terms skill he would not opt for to be tied down yet. some adult adult males or perhaps women go via this. searching on how previous you both were once you all started courting, he would sense like he by no skill had a probability to be a cushty guy.
2016-10-21 06:05:07 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The BF is exhibiting some "red flag" behavior. Controlling, jealous, accusing you of stuff, trying to cut you off from your friends.
Does he put you down? Any little digs to mess with your self esteeem?
The typical abuser starts with this kind of stuff and then proceeds to separate the woman from her entire support network (friends, family, church, job, etc.) before starting to beat her.
The first time he hits you... you get GONE!
2007-10-15 18:59:14 · answer #4 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋