My gma hates me & my siblings and treats us sub-par in comparison to our cousins within the family. There is no real reason for this, she is just a hateful, snobby person. The funny thing is, the ones she treats better are inconsiderate and unappreciative.
Nevertheless, she will purposely give us crap gifts, hand-me-downs...that never bothered me too much but now she is spreading the hate to our children, her great grandchildren.
Ex: Buying one child a playstation and then my child a $5 wal-mart toy.
I would hate for my children to feel the pain this woman purposely inflicts on us
What can I do?
2007-10-15 17:15:39 · 9 answers · asked by Offending Party 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I used to send her stuff constantly, but then I gave up on her caring.
now, I try to avoid her.
She will not let me cut her off, I have tried and when I do not return calls, she tattles to the family.
Real Mature.
2007-10-15 17:40:58 · update #1
Run away from her!!! You don't need her inflicting your children the same pain she inflicted on you!!! I wouldn't visit her or nothing...just do it openly! With this kind of people there is no love that will break them down. Just think of her like a tumor that has to be "removed" so you can function properly. It is really sad to say this, but besides mean she is possesive. Believe me, the best thing is to cut off any communication with her at least until she shows some positive change and respect for you and your family.
2007-10-15 17:27:16 · answer #1 · answered by eli_davila2002 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that this is affecting you more than it's affecting your kids. In half of my family it was our cousins who were the favored ones by certain of my aunts and uncles. They got the balloons at Disneyland while my brother and I got nothing from them. But...I only remember this looking back. At the time I had more important things to do and think about. I guess it hurt a bit to see them get things and praise from the relatives but I had other relatives who made up for it. Those are the ones I remember as fondly as an adult.
All I'm saying is that as long as all the relatives don't treat your kids the way your grandma does, then her spitefulness probably won't leave a huge impact on them. Just make sure that time an interest in the kids is coming from others. That's more important to the well being of a person than a playstation any day.
2007-10-16 06:38:06 · answer #2 · answered by Critter 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if I'm over simplifying, but maybe you should just tell her how you feel about the discrepancies over the way she treats you, your siblings, and your children. Give her specific examples and ask her why she's doing such things?
Maybe there is a reason you don't know about for why she acts this way (even if you feel there is no real reason asking her can't hurt) and if you can clear up the reasons the quality of life (for all the parties involved) might improve!
If she cannot explain her actions, then I think the whole "kill her with kindness" idea is best. And I love the reminder that children are always watching how you handle situations as a way to learn how to deal with things themselves. Anyway you swing it, it sounds miserable so I wish you the best of luck!
2007-10-15 18:12:36 · answer #3 · answered by Elle Beeh 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just avoid visiting her or places where she is present. If she hates you and your siblings so much, you don't need a grandma like her. You don't have to mention to anyone that you are avoiding her...just make excuses to avoid. Soon, she will feel it and know in her heart that you dislike her.
If your kids start to compare presents, just tell your kid that grandma is getting old and not in her right frame of mind. There is no need to complicate matters by telling your children more.
I suppose you want her to feel the pain she has caused you but just give her a thought that without her, there won't be your parents and you.
2007-10-15 21:10:56 · answer #4 · answered by Didi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL....Sounds like my monster, oops I mean Mother. Long story. Anyway people like that I just love to be so syrupy sweet cause it really ticks them off. What is she gonna do complain that you are too sweet to her???? Then the ultimate put down is to re gift her with her own gifts that she sends you. If she says, "I sent that to you!" Tell he you didn't remember but you thought it was such a great gift that she deserves it the most. You and everyone else she treats like that will get some self satisfaction without being a jerk or looking like one, because you are "so sweet"....LOL. It works great and I use it all the time on mean people. Have Fun!!!
2007-10-15 18:03:52 · answer #5 · answered by Diana L 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to put up with the hateful old biddy at all.
Simply keep your own family away from the get-togethers where grandma will be present. Simple as that. You can explain that to your parents and ask their cooperation in warning you when she will be present, because you are helping to keep conflict out of the situation. You can visit your parents any time, or meet them for dinner.
Explain to your children that grandma is steadily going nuts... dementia... and is exhibiting one of the more nasty traits, and as such you don't see any point in subjecting your kids to any abuse.
Settle for sending your grandma very nice greeting cards.
2007-10-15 17:42:10 · answer #6 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your children are always watching; think carefully what you want to teach them before you act.
I would recommend distance and detachment. Cutting off all contact is extreme, but if you need to do that try not to be hateful about it. Explain the reality of life that not all family members are kind and that it has nothing to do with them personally. Teach them to be polite, but not to let her trample them down. They will have to deal with jerks for the rest of their lives, teach them to do it with class.
"The best revenge is to live well". Evict this woman from the space in your head she occupies and enjoy your life. She is the loser.
2007-10-15 17:48:10 · answer #7 · answered by LeslieAnn 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd say kill her with kindness (not literally... it's just a saying!). Send her a card out of the blue with your kids' signatures (if possible), or ask if she'll get a family photo with you guys. Something unexpected and sweet. If that doesn't get you on her good list, I'd ask her why she seems to like the other grandkids better. Maybe she doesn't realize she's doing those things? Or maybe she's just a mean old hag. In that case, get her back by having your kids paint something at a paint-your-own pottery shop. Make sure it's really something she would never display. She'll have to pretend she likes it - like your kids have to do when they get crap gifts from her. I plan on doing this to my step-mother-in-law who gave me ONE coaster... not even a SET of coasters. Just one.... along with some other dollar store junk. Gotta love family! Good luck!
2007-10-15 17:29:07 · answer #8 · answered by LIl One 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
When somone abuses or does things that will hurt your child you remove your children from the situation. Cut off contact with her. I would have absolutely no problem doing that because she is a nasty mean person.
Dont allow her to have contact with them and dont let her send them anything. It sounds mean but whats worse, your childrens self esteem being damaged and them getting hurt or her being hurt. Your priority is your children, not that old dumb biddy.
2007-10-15 17:38:32 · answer #9 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋