How can I change my paradigm? my way of looking at the universe?

Question

I was brought up in a very religious fundamentalist environment, but as I got older I seperated myself from this type of arena, now I am in my 30's, and I am pretty secular, but I sometimes feel that fundamentalist programming rear its ugly head, my main concern is my judgementalism towards other people, I know the roots of this is in my upbringing, I d my best to suppress it, but it always comes back, how do I change my paradigm, or my way of looking at the world, so that can be more tolerant and accepting. one thing else I should add, is, on the surface, I act like certain things dont bother me, but deep down they do, so its not like I mistreat anyone for their lifestyle choices, but I keep it inside, I want to change that part of me deep inside, so my inner and outer worlds are congruent.

Answer 1

You only need to realize that in the same situation you would probably do what they are doing. You don't know what brought them to their decisions, but if you did you would probably agree with them, or at least you will realize that with some knowledge that they have not yet learned they would make a better decision.

Answer 2

You probably can't easily change the programming your parents gave you without extensive psychological problems. Maybe after years of deep psychoanalysis, which is not popular in today's psychological world, it might be possible. I am 75 years old and was raised in a fairly "churchy" family but still have difficulty accepting the modern liberated lifestyles. Maybe it is because deep down you know your parents were right.

I remember a professor teaching a course on the pros and cons of proofs about God's existence citing the example of an atheist parent who enrolled his children in a Sunday school. When asked why by his atheistic friends he answered, "Some one has to beat into them what is the right way to behave!"

My personal way around it has been to accept both religious and scientific beliefs as being equally true (at least for those who believe deeply) for reasons I might not know and wait for further evidence ( logical or empirical) from both sides. I am a "mug-wump" sitting on the fence with my mug on one side and my wump on the other. I am happy and find it easier to accept more people's beliefs this way

Good luck in transcending the great enigma, good mental health, peace and love!.

Answer 3

Judgments always come from a limited perspective!

Instead of focussing on what you want to move away from...start looking at how you want to life to be for you.

What will you be saying to yourself and how will you be feeling when you are being tolerant and accepting.

your past does not define you,how you are being in the world right now does.What do you choose?

Answer 4

Join the Peace Corp and go live in a third world country for a few years. It will change you in ways you could never imagine.

Answer 5

I think that what you have described are normal human reactions.
From personal experience I can tell you that dealing with those relapses is not easy but it is worth trying and definitely is a big challenge for the mind.
Avoid as possible black and white thinking, be open and be yourself.