Is it asking too much for a guy to enter into a relationship when there is no sex due to my religious beliefs?

Question

I was seeing this guy and i thought we had a great connection. I told him that due to my religious beliefs I won't be having sex until marriage. He is 22 and I'm 21. He seemed upset that we couldn't have a relationship but said that he would not be able to have one with a major part of the intimacy not there. Is this an indication that he wasn't keen enough to begin with or should I give him time to come around to the idea?

Answer 1

No. I'm sure the right guy for you will accept your decision.

Answer 2

No it's not too much to ask. I'm a Muslim and I cannot have premarital sex.

If he loves you he would respect your decision. Do you want to risk making a sin just for a guy? No! Sex is not everything you know. What if you loose it and he dumps you, you'll feel wasted, cheated so don't. Religion is priority you know and guys, there are others who will respect you. If he won't comply then just leave. He is already not keen because you wouldn't do what he wants, it's selfish you know. Go find someone else. Who knows if he didn't get what he wants from you he could be sleeping around behind your back.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Everybody is entitled to have their own opinion and beliefs, so in your case is better to find someone that thinks like you.

As per my own experience, and thinking logically, a couple should share everything, including sex while they are trying to get to know each other.

The reason for this is simple, just like anything else in out lives, we always like and try to “test” things before we decide to use them, or buy them. Why? Well, because is obvious that we won’t get it if is not up to our expectations.

You probably think now that I am comparing love with a car or a CD player, or worse, comparing a person to those objects. Well, no I am not. I’m just stating reality. We humans think this way, and is the logical way. We won’t get something we know is not good, or that will not make us happy, or worth the money and/or the time.

Just think about it, why would you out with a guy (and loose precious time of your life) that you know will not make you happy as he doesn’t have the same beliefs as yours? You shouldn’t.

The problem is that if you decide not to have sex until you get marry, and obviously you won’t be living together until you get marry as well, then you risk a lot as you could find out later that the person you married is not what you though he was. And at that point, you are now married, and probably as I am thinking, tied up religiously with this guy and you can not divorce as most religions forbid that.

Love is very complicated. Lust can happen anytime, but love most be “growth”. This means you have to share with that person, everything, good times, bad times, money, health, sex, fun, sadness, pain, happiness, everything!

Many if not most couples make the biggest mistake of their lives by getting married before sharing their lives with each other and a big percent of them end up in divorce, and in most cases, after they have had kids.

I can not tell you how to live your life, but I can give you some advice, you do as you want and think is the best for you. My advice is to try to think before acting. Religion is good for the soul (if there is such a thing), but it will not save you from divorce. There are some things that you have to think about before acting, in this case, religious beliefs that are giving you pain and might be driving you away form a good man.

Is he good? I don’t know, and you don’t know yet probably. Should he respect your religious beliefs? YES, bigYES. Should you give in to his sexual demands. NO, big NO. But you two could talk, be honest, and let each other know the expectations, and how far can you sacrifice for the other.

Love is about sacrifices and never asking or expecting anything in return. And the key to stay in a good relation is communication and honesty. If you can have all those, then you should be fine.

Think about it, and do what you think is best for you.

Good luck.

Answer 4

It's all a personal choice. It's your decision to wait until marriage and it's his decision to not want a relationship if a physical part of intamacy is not there. In any relationship each others wants and needs need to be fulfilled for it to be a satisfying union. Maybe try finding a guy with the same religion and beliefs.

Answer 5

If he is unable to have intimacy without sex he is an emotional pigmy. If he cared or loved you even a little, he wouldn't expect you to go against your beliefs. Leave him, and you'll find the one wh'll love you completely, and will value the greatest gift one can give to another: oneself. I myself am waiting for marriage, and after leaving my fair share of sex-centered guys found the only guy who will ever matter. He too is waiting for marriage, and we've been together two years.

Answer 6

It sounds like he's not willing to come around to the idea. He wants a relationship with intimacy so if you're not willing to have that in your relationship then he's not going to be happy and he's going to find it elsewhere. At least he was honest with you about what he expects. If you want to wait until you're married then I suggest you date someone with your same religious beliefs that is willing to respect your wishes to wait until marriage.

Answer 7

You said it yourself that the no sex rule was a relationship breaker.

"He seemed upset that we couldn't have a relationship but said that he would not be able to have one with a major part of the intimacy not there.

I would go to a church dating event to find someone with your values. You will be hard pressed to find someone like that at the local bar or college.

Answer 8

You can ask for whatever you want. Will you get it? If he loves you he will comply. Not all guys are sex crazed. The flipside to it may be that he really likes you but not enough to stop getting it elsewhere. Sex is GREAT!!! Lol! But he may lead you on into thinking that he is remaining celibate along with you so when the time is right you two can get married. But all along he's having sex with someone else.

Answer 9

If he doesn't share your religious beliefs why on earth are you with him or want to be with him, you two have nothing in common. He is not going to come around, so don't go getting your hopes up because you are going to be sorely disappointed. Plus it also shows you how much he cares about you, he doesn't care enough about you to share your beliefs, so you must move on and find someone who is truly worthy of you and who is willing to share your beliefs. Don't settle for anything less

Answer 10

you should let him think about it for awhile. i mean..you need to understand where he is coming from too. obviously hes not waiting until marriage and being intimate is really important. so you have to realize..that hes not just trying to have sex with you..its also about the connection and being intimate. so for someone that does not have strong beliefs like you..it will be hard for them to accept it because they do need that intimacy. just talk to him about it. try to make it work if you think ..well if you both think it is worth it. i think you should tell him that he should try ..but obviously if it doesnt work out..then it wasnt mean to be. i think its best if you just find someone with the same beliefs. because i dont have any beliefs. and if my boyfriend asked me that hes not having sex till marriage. it would be hard for me too. because i need some kind of intimacy. so just try to see his side too. and he should respect and understand where you are coming from also.

Answer 11

No. You've made the right decision - your Creator's decision.
How active are you in your religion??

What ideally should happen is that you are involved enough to meet someone of similar religious belief, not only pre-maritally, but Post-maritally, when you have children and you can be united in your decisions - particularly, re religious matters, for your children.