How do I convince my parents to let me quit violin?

Question

I am in high school, and I have played the violin since age 5. I absolutely hate it, mainly because I don't get anything out of it and my parents force me to do these things against my will. Also, I could also learn other more useful and common things that are cool anyway like guitar and actually get something out of it. I have seen other answers for similar questions, and they tell me to decide what is in my heart. I am absolutely ready to do this (the decision being to quit and do other things with my life), but the problem is that my parents cannot listen to my reasoning, and they continue ranting and raving about my transcript and my "career." So, how do I present a valid argument that can convince them to let me quit?

Answer 1

Do you really want to quit? Violin playing is as useful as playing guitar. Something doesn't have to be useful, or common, to be permissible. Some find skipping rocks fun; I like drawing.
I find the violin "cool". My sister plays both of the instruments you mentioned, violin and guitar. She often complains how it would've been awesome if her parents started her off early, like how you were. I think you would've already stopped playing if you REALLY detested the instrument.
Announcing your will to cease practice will probably disappoint your parents. Its likely you ask this question because you don't want to hurt their feelings-- you already know the valid argument: "I absolutely hate it, mainly because I don't get anything out of it." Thats as strong as any point. They'll know you're serious, but they'll get hurt. You can try to put it into more formal terms, so you come off as calm, level-headed, and one who has thought about it. Show your resolution.

I hope all goes well.

Answer 2

I think you should talk to your parents in a calm and respectful way. Let them know that you do not want to quit music completely, you just want to expand your instrument range. Any parent really interested in their child's musical education should be excited about that. Ask them if you can take guitar on a trial basis while still taking violin. At the end of the trial if you really like guitar (and have consistently progressed) then you should be able to switch. And if you have been taking violin since you were 5, a year or two off of no lessons won't make you forget everything.
Mr. Morales has it all wrong though. Colleges love students who participate in fine arts and many offer great scholarships if you play in their orchestra or ensembles. So you don't want a music career, use a music scholarship to help pay for you to study what you really want to study. There are a number of people in my college orchestra that are non-music majors. They simply stay in orchestra because they love it and becuase they get great scholarships. Most employers (and colleges) would also look at the amount of time you have played violin and would know that you are a hard worker and you have dedication, two high quality traits. Have you played in an orchestra? Employers see that and know you are a team player. Even if you are burned out on violin, please realize it probably has taught you things over the years and your playing has probably brought people lots of hapiness.

Answer 3

I am so sorry that you dislike playing the violin and more so that your parent's cannot appreciate that you no longer want to play. Sometimes we parents get so caught up in our own dreams that we forget that our children might have different dreams.

OK - here are a few things to think about. When I hit high school I had been dancing, playing various instruments, singing, and acting since very young. One day I called each and every of my teachers and told them that I was quitting. (I did not tell this to my parents first - BIG mistake) Each teacher called my mother wanting to know if she was unhappy with them. I had created a not nice situation and put my mother in an awkward position. After sitting down and explaining to my parents that I wanted a break from all my lessons, practicing, etc. my mom agreed to allow me to quit. She then said that I could not take any lessons again unless I truly wanted to and had to then commit to them for a set amount of time. We struck a truce and later I returned to only those which I realized I truly loved.

Sooooo, DO NOT do as I did. Instead, if you cannot talk to directly to your parents, perhaps talk to your violin teacher. Explain that you have enjoyed studying with them, but you need a break to try other things. That you realize at the moment that playing the violin might not be your true calling. Perhaps given a chance to take a break and try other things, you may realize you want to pursue playing again, but you want it to be because it is in your heart. If your teacher is a true artist he/she will understand. As an ex-dance teacher / choreographer I often had this happen. A student might want to try ice skating, gymnastics, etc. and want to drop dance. The parent might be upset and of course I hated losing the student, but I also knew that as long as they were doing something else in their life, they would utilize what I gave them through dance, to be even better at their new activity. I also always made it clear that if they chose to return to dance I'd welcome them with open arms.

You may be the world's most talented violinist, but if you don't want to be playing it will make no difference on your transcript and certainly would be a disaster as a career. Performing is hard work and takes a lot of devotion...if the heart is not in it you won't suceed anyway.

I hope your parents realize that your wanting to quit the violin does not reflect on them.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I think you should sit down with them and talk. You have to convince them that playing violin isn't what you want to do. In order to do that you have to plan out what you are going to say. You just cant say, "Hey mom and dad, I'm going to play the guitar" because as you said, they wont accept that. Since they rant and rave about your transcript and career so much, maybe you can find a way to use that to your advantage. Let them know that its ok for them to want the best for you, but that playing the violin doesn't make you happy. Let them know that you dont want to make the violin your career, but you have to let them know what you do want to do instead. Wether it is playing the guitar or anything else. Whatever you do, you have to make your parents feel that you are responsible and know what you want. Don't use phrases like "I want to do something cool."

Answer 5

Personally, I think your parents have gotten it all wrong. While Violin may have been something good to put in your transcript/resume when they were your age, they have to look at what century this is, meaning this is the 20th century and though some employers may think violin is great, most are probably not going to even pay attention. Playin Violin or not playin Violin, it will not matter because an employer doesn't really care whether you can play violin, or stand on your head, what they are looking for is what you can do for them, what you can do to help the business, to help their company. Not sure what kind of career your trying to go into, but violin most likely will not matter. What you should do is look online a little about what employers are looking for on a resume/transcript, print it out & give it to them to look at, even though this may sound dull & boring it may just prove to benifit you. Also, do some research on the type of career you want to go into, print off the information & give it to your parents. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

Just quit,
What are they gonna do, take your birthday away?
If you go to your school counselour and just tell her that you want to quit to go into a different course that will "help you with your future" chances are she will let you, counselours are a sucker for that kind of thing. I'm in 9th grade right now so i just started highschool but this is YOUR school year and YOUR preperation for college, not your parents.

Hope I helped.

ps- You probaly will get in trouble for doing it this way, but if it's whats best for YOU then just do it and suck up the punishment.

Answer 7

Why don't you study some Guitar. Heck, if you can find a teacher who teaches Guitar and fiddle at the same time, you can keep up the violin and play "funner" music.

Answer 8

I DID VIOLIN I NO WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH what i said was my violin teacher i mean and she does not no what she is saying, and i also said im not going to get any better, she didnt want to pay for a music teacher so she got me out of it , that was easy now i dont have to be humiliated

Answer 9

Say that playing the violin has run its course with you and is no longer interesting to you. Also say that you are a teenager now and you need cooler things to occupy your time.

Answer 10

Well I think you should bring a middle person into this. Someone who is not biased either way. So that you can express your concerns and dislikes. That way someone who is not in your situation can give you some friendly advise and your parents.
Your parents beleive it or not cannot force you to do that so I think someone of a proffesional nature should be brought in.....