My son & my bossy, controlling sister & her instigating daughter?

Question

My son is 5, my niece is 4. They fight, push, hit, tattle & it's an ongoing annoying struggle. I know my son sometimes starts fights & he does get in trouble by me. But I've had it with my sister. She yells at my son & blames him when they fight. He talks back, which I know is a problem, but sometimes he has to in order to defend himself. She's always picking on him. I've seen her daughter many times push or hit my son, then she'll run & say he hit me, when he did nothing. Today my sister & I got into it cuz she called my son a brat to his face. And cuz he told his cousin that he didn't want to come over & play anymore. When he said that, my sister blew up at him & said he was mean & was being disrespectful. Well, he's just a kid. If she would of ignored it, it would have ended, but she had to blow it all out of proportion. I'm sick of her bossy snottyness to my son & I. She needs to notice that her kid lies & is a problem too. Now it's an ongoing fight, what to do?

Answer 1

Stop spending so much time with each other. Maybe the kids are in a bad phase right now and sick of seeing each other all the time.

Answer 2

This is a difficult problem. I think you should sit down with your sister--without the kids around--and talk to her about it. Explain how you feel. Try to do it so that you aren't coming down hard on her because she'll start to get defensive. Tell her that you are feeling bad about how things are between you because of issues with the kids and you'd like to come to some kind of an agreement. You could suggest that each of you disciplines your own child only and does so quietly, away from the other people. You can also explain that you know that sometimes your son starts it and sometimes her daughter starts it, but that it isn't really about who starts what--it's about teaching the kids how to get along and how to resolve problems.

I think it's really important that you have this talk when the kids aren't around. Someone else needs to be responsible for them while you talk, or they will prove to be too distracting.

Good luck.

Answer 3

You should keep your son away from your sister and her daughter. He and his cousin are children and don't need to be wrapped up in the sibling rivalry that you and your sister have going.

You may be looking for validation here, but it sounds to me like you are defending his bad behavior by pointing the finger at others. From what you say your son is sometimes rude and disrespectful, but so is your sister and so is her daughter. Do you think that you might have a part in this as well?

Answer 4

I'm going to give my opinion here, but I'm not a parent. So you can take my opinion or leave it.

I think you should minimize contact between the children. It seems like you are working to discipline your child, while your sister is not. Children lie, its part of the growing up process. But they also tease, torment and make life hard for other kids. If your sister doesn't get her under control, she is going to go to school and bully other children. Most schools now have a zero-tolerance for bullying. Why subject your son to that?

Good luck!

Answer 5

Cool the play dates for a while. You know give it some time talk to your son about his actions to. Then in a month or more maybe let them try to play again but if this continues to be a problem then stay away.

Answer 6

Stay away from them! She is going to end up with a bratty, uncontrolable teenager and then she is going to wonder where she went wrong.

Answer 7

hey your faimly but you don't have to go over to there house if your son doesn't want to go don't make him sounds to me like that girl needs a good whipping.