Do you think my low self esteem could keep getting worse, do you think i need pro. help?

Question

Ever since guys started taking notice of girls I've been receiving insults, every single day, whether its joking or seriously, i take all insults seriously. There is never a day that goes by that i don't hear an insult. I've noticed I've gotten more and more negative towards myself, but how can i improve if the people around me don't care about my feelings? Guys are always telling me how ugly i am, in fact a guy just told me that no way ever in history will a guy think I'm pretty. But get this, the same guys that insult me are always telling me I need more confidence, do they not realize they're the main cause of my low self esteem?? I'm tired of being insulted so much, I'm sick and tired of it ! My rents don't even know I feel this way, but I don't think its enough to worry them, or is it? How can I make people listen and care how I feel? How can i make them understand that insults cut me deep? I really can't take it anymore !!!

If I don't hang out with those "shallow people" I'll fall back to depression due to feeling so lonely at school, and my neighborhood consists of 3 houses of senior citizens, wouldn't make good friends... i just moved schools again and this school is more horrible, here EVERYBODY is shallow and now 24/7 I can't escape the insults.

I'm what people would call "emo" I hate that label people use on me

http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g108/nanerbananer/pilehigh.gif

these are pics i took not too long ago, i have some days where i feel ok. see i am not goth looking, and i do care for my outer appearance, but it doesn't help

Answer 1

Firstly please let me say that as a woman of very average attractiveness I can totally relate to your own experiences. I spent most of my teenage and early adult life wishing I looked different. I wanted to be thinner, have different colour hair and be taller... And of course none of this was going to happen.

Eventually after I left school and started in the workforce I discovered that other people thought I was funny and a good friend. Personally, I believe I made more of an effort because of my lack of good looks.

After many false starts I met the man of my dreams who is also of average attractiveness and we married. He never stops telling me how much he loves and adores me. And I have twin boys who shower me with kisses every day. They love me for who I am NOT what I look like.

BUT I understand that it has taken me many years to get to this point and you are younger than me. I think if you feel you can talk to your parents then you should tell them how you are feeling. You may be surprised at their own experiences and just having them on your side may make you feel a whole lot better.

I don't think there is any point in telling people who are cruel to you that they are hurting your feelings, because this will probably make them even nastier. However, if your friends are joking around and saying things about how you look, then I would take an opportunity when you are calm and relaxed to gently tell then that you are struggling with how you look and their comments are making you feel worse. If they are good friends I am sure they will stop teasing you.

My last piece of advice is easier said than done - find a passion for something. It may be painting, writing, dancing...anything which brings you joy. Focus on developing your passion and you will come in contact with people who share your passion and who hopefully will see the real you, rather than just the outer covering.

Hope this helps,
mum2MH

Answer 2

Look here honey, you are the only one who should care about your looks! You do what you can to make yourself attractive, and that doesn't mean cake on the make up! Be well groomed, polite, walk straight and tall and mainly believe in your own self. Others will see you the way you see you!

It sounds to me more that you suffer from depression than low self esteem. That you should talk to someone about!

As for the insults...what kind of friends do you have??? These people need serious help if all they can do is sit back and judge YOU! I think I would be finding a better class of friends, who could appreciate my sense of humor, artistic ability and understand that while I may be in an akward stage now I will bloom and be the beauty on the outside that I am on the inside!
Now replace all of the I's in the above statement to make it your own! Think about it. Nana

Answer 3

Aww! I feel so bad for you! YOU have to like yourself before others will. Don't let what people say to you, ruin your self esteem. I'm sure you're not ugly....that's just mean to say, anyway. Don't listen to that. When you feel bad because of what someone says or does to you, you let them win. That's exactly what they want you to feel. Why would you want to give them that? Who the heck do they think they are? Are they all that great anyway? I bet not.
What do you like about yourself? What qualities to you have? Do you think you are pretty? Do you think you smart? Are you a good person? I bet you have a lot of qualities to offer...remember the swan story? Everyone goes through awkward stages, but a beautiful swan will one day appear, and surprise everyone! These mean guys don't know what they're talking about. You should talk to your mom, or other person you look up to, so you don't feel so alone. Believe it or not, you aren't the only one feeling this way, and we've all felt like this at one time or another. If you keep letting this get to ya, you're going to need some professional help.

Answer 4

Dude I so know how u feel I don't even love myself I hate myself, I get told I'm ugly and I need to go live in the woods so I don't scare anyone they r just assholes. I know what u mean but u r pretty in ur own way. U may not b like all the other girls but that is so fine. Say this u know u put me down cuz u think it is cute and funny well it is not. I think u better take a long as look in the mirror ***** b4 u start cutting me down. Kids r mean and they don't care middle school and high school r the hardest years in ur life ur growing and trying to find ur self. I'm in high school so I know what it is like.

Answer 5

Calm down......seriously take a look in the mirror. What do you see? I would probably see a beautiful woman who is smart enough to not care what other people say about her. Take action! Stand up to these guys! What're they gonna do, beat u up? (if the answer to that is yes, they're jerks... :P) Anyways, seriously! Ur a nice person! They're calling you ugly because they're just insecure about the fact that they can never get the girl they want! Make it heard that insults cut you deep! And try to get over them...what matters more, what some @$$es think about you, or how you think about urself? Just take a breather...

Added: Personally I love the name...u don't seem goth to me!

Answer 6

Sweetheart, guys are assholes. I was the exact same way in high school. Guys all hated me and told me I was dirt ugly. So I believed that I was. It wasn't true. Took me 5 years to learn that... but the second I graduated, they were all crawling to me.... and you know what, I told them they were too ugly. Your day will come too. Hang in there. I don't think you need professional help, unless your thoughts are suicidal, in which case, tell someone IMMEDIATELY. If you want, you could talk to a school counselor (it's free.) Therapists cost 80$/hour +++ so if you really need to talk to someone, keep posting here. Also, confidence might take a while to build, but in the end, it's confidence that makes a girl hot. Act like your hot, and they will beleive it too.

Answer 7

WOW you should never think that you are ugly no matter what people say. We all fancy different people and am i glad about that. I have seen girls insulted about their looks that I have liked, and not thought of much to some girls that my friends thought were stunning.

We dont all like the same things - thank god. Confidence isnt about looks but about feeling happy about yourself. I think the guys you hang with need a good talking to, and you should tell them exacly how you feel. I remember i used to mock a girl i knew, but i realy liked her and was scared to say so!

Answer 8

Learn to block the voices out and be confident. You are SO MUCH better then you think you are, you just got to believe in yourself. The shallow people- I don't believe everyone is shallow, I'm sorry but i cant believe that.

Just keep an eye out, ditch the shallow "friends" and be confident that you can be independent. You never know where the true friends are really hiding ;D

Answer 9

if your friend slike being insulted to like you or any of them you should just broke up with them because if they insulted they be that like always theres mostly in chance of life time for a change just find new friends that doesnt do insulted anyway its good for to me i have about 67 friend but ionly have few friends like not insulted but over that amount the only way to stop the insult try and talk to them when they are calm down they might be upset or angry for reason like for example they always get insult on some stimes Moving away ?


GOODLUCK I HOPE IT HELPS
BUT I ONLY HAVE FEW FRIENDS OUT HERE SINCE I LIVED IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE

Answer 10

I think that you should tell these guys that it is them and their comments that are making you feel low. Guys are so stupid at times how can you feel more confident around them if it is them that are knocking your feelings so badly.
I would tell your parents how you are feeling or even a chat with your GP may help. sometimes a good long chat about things can really help.
I am so sorry that you are feeling so low but remember this, sometimes people call you names and give you nothing but insults because they are not so self secure themselves.
Hope this helps!!