How do i close my heart to how I feel?

Question

How is it that no matter how right a decision is, it still tears at your heart, making you feel so terrible,like you've betrayed your own flesh and blood? This feeling inside, the emptiness of my heart, how can I fill the void? Companionship is all that i need, but at the same time, the one thing I cannot find. To simply hold someone and be held in return, what makes that such a complicated thing? How can I trust myself in a situation where I know I am subject to get hurt? How do I close my heart to how I feel

Answer 1

You don't and you dare not! Right now it sounds as though you have one foot in that door and the other foot still outside ready to escape at a moment's notice! The best thing in life is to love someone and be loved by that same person. Open yourself up to all of it. Companionship is vital to a relationship and so is friendship...but that's not all of it by a long shot! Other people need other things and all relationships are give and take. In order to truly love someone you must be willing to hold their needs and wants as dearly as you do your own. Good luck!

Answer 2

While you were not specific and indicate if you were talking about a real gal and a real decision, it is obvious you have some pain within you.Love ---platonic or romantic---is an emotion that is bitter sweet.You can not guarantee a pain free relationship no more than you can shut out the world and its problems. You have to take a chance, a risk with finding the right person and the right companionship; you may strike pay dirt, or like you said, only find emptiness which leaves you with a void in your heart. However, do not give up for your true love is on her way to you and very soon, you will be glad you did not close your heart based on how you currently feel. I wish you the best.

Answer 3

It sounds like you have had a bad experience in a relationship and are really hurting. My solution is to get very busy and go through the motions of a life. That means make some changes. Are you in school? If so maybe you could join some school groups, volunteer somewhere, get a part time job-anything to keep busy and meet new people. If you work , then pretty much the same suggestions. It wont be fun for a while but if you are busy you wont be in the pit of sorrow so much. Behave your way to feeling better. Whatever you do do not go back into a relationship for quite a while. You need time to reflect on what kind of person you are looking for and it might take a while to find that person . So just say to yourself you wont date for a while until everything is clearer to you. Best wishes and it will get better.

Answer 4

To answer this honestly, I don't think we can turn our feelings off. We all want the same thing, some get it some don't, some are there to hurt, some are there to feel the pain.
Deep down though, I think it comes down to trust yourself, be honest with your true feelings, don't be scared to show these, and unfortunately if we get hurt by doing so then we need to look at the situation and the person we are sharing these with. Ask ourselves why this person has given us negative feelings, have they been hurt themselves and are scared to feel - what ever you do do not close your heart to the way you feel, you not only hurt yourself, but you could also hurt the person you really want to share these feelings with, after all they may be feeling the same, but are scared to share.

Wow, a real deep and meaningful answer......sorry for babbling.

Answer 5

I don't think anyone can turn off the feelings they have. Loving and loosing seems to be a part of being human. I don't know anyone that has found true love and kept it forever. I wish we all could. But I think when we love someone and stay in a relationship, eventually we both change and grow in different directions. It is very hard and hurts very much, but you have to try and move on past this and find other friends and loves. I wish you well. If you need to talk, email me... the_fnho@yahoo

Answer 6

Well, in a nutshell... as a young adult you will experience your absolute worst most painful first lost (aside from say a relative's death). This loss will be the first relationship that had some depth to it. It was more complex and therefore more valued. It will be horribly painful...and probably remembered for a lifetime...(tho it will resolve as time goes on.) It is the one we realize how serious and valuable relationships can be as adults...it should be treated as a growth opportunity. Mother Nature can be pretty tough sometimes.

What I learned from my experience (GF dumped me for another guy that had money and means ...my self esteem went to hell) ...was to hold back enough of yourself to be able to regenerate. When people trust enough to "self-disclose" ...there is a strong sense of intimacy. It is what we all crave...to share that intimacy. When you loose that it feel like you lost 98% of yourself. Until you learn to save back 25% to regenerate with. It helps not to put all your eggs in one basket. Invest in yourself as well...as you stumble along in life.

Relationships evolve and change...you can't force them or control them. That is what makes them so unique and special. To have a friend you have to be a friend. So you have to be a friend to someone/others and then you will have a chance to growth that relationship. Trust me...there are alot of people feeling like you do.

Rather than isolating, giving up, closing down....do some "random acts of kindness". Pick people that look like they are struggling for some reason. The smallest thing can mean so much...(as you know...even to hold someone!)

It helps to define the boundaries of your relationships with people so everyone is on the same page...and no one gets hurt. Remember some people are not mature enough to maintain relationships...identify them so you don't have any unexpected surprises.

That is off the top of my head...hope it helps...that is my BEST ANSWER! Good Luck!

Answer 7

It's very hard to feel so alone in the world-- that you feel you can do absolutely nothing. It's hard because you feel there is no where to turn.

The only way to get out of your situation is to Forgive. But never forget. Try to make others see you are truly sorry for what you have done. Make this void in you life dissappear.

If you need alone time. Try burying yourself in music or one of your favorite hobbies until you have the strength too talk about your wrong doings.. And what youcan do to fix them.

Answer 8

Your just a good guy who keeps picking the wrong girls.Your one of the nice man we have in this world and im sure you will find someone who will hold you like you want to be held.Women get hurt everyday by men and they feel just like you feel now,your just saying this becasue you have been in a bad relatinship and you got hurt.But we always get cheated on hurt, played...etc.Your a good guya dn they only way you can keep from getting hurt is to always have your guard up at all times until that person gives you a reason not to.

Answer 9

the only way you can close your heart to what you feel/how you feel ,is by trully opening your heart to your feelings,and trully knowing,not just beliving that you made the right decision.

Answer 10

You can't.

The best thing is to acknowledge how you feel, and then do the wise thing, which may or may not be different.