advice anyone?

Question

I've been with my bf for 4 yrs. I love him, he loves me. Im not happy, but i want to fix it. I try to talk to him to tell him and he just gets defensive and trys to manipulate everything into me feeling sorry for him b/c I make him feel like hes not good enough and he usually ends it w/ "well, thats me, and Im not changing." I know that we could fix the problems in our relationship if he was willing to work w/ me. I could cry and beg and plead for him to do something simple like celebrate our anniversary & he wont b/c HE doesnt think its a big deal. I dont understand casue I know that he loves me. Am I doing something wrong? I really dont complain that much but when I need to talk to him, how can I get him to LISTEN. All he hears is "youre not good enough" and he puts a wall up. Its like an endless cycle, nothing ever gets resolved and we end up resenting eachother for it. (At least I resent him, he wont admit that these unresolved conflict bother him but shouldnt they if he loves me!?

Answer 1

Love isn't an universal thing, whats up with people thinking everyone loves the same way..... its like they figured a child molester wouldn't moleste if he loved the kids, HAHAHAHAH poeple are so ignorant, but I digress.... the point here hunnie is that THAT'S HOW HE LOVES YOU!!! He loves you! Its just your dealing with his own personal style of lovin', and guess what? YOU CAN'T EXPECT TO CHANGE THAT!!!!! Its not fair!!! So ether you suck it up and enjoy this, or you move on. Oooo you could help change him, but then you'd have to know alot more about you, to emphsize with him enough to SEE what it is he needs to accept to change for you. Can you do that? Then you need to let go of hope or lay in the bed you've made for yourself....