Explaining to a 3yr Old the deployment process?

Question

My husband is currently deployed, and we are trying to explain to my 3yr old nephew why his uncle isn't around...We have showed him maps and tried to get him to talk to his uncle, but he won't. He keeps saying he is mad at his uncle because he won't come and see him... How can we help him better to understand that his uncle wants to see him, but is on deployment?

I tried to tell him that his uncle was helping the people being mean to learn how to be nice to the other people... He still doesn't seem to understand.. We have tried talking to him before he left too...

Answer 1

There is actually a video starring Elmo that addresses this issue to little ones taking them through the deployment process with Elmo whose daddy is being deployed. The DVD is free through www.militaryonesource.com or www.sesameworkshop.org. Many Family Readiness Centers on base will also have copies of this DVD. I have heard from many people that this video really helped their little ones understand what mommy or daddy (or in your case uncle) was doing. The DVD is called: "Talk, Listen, Connect: Helping Families During Military Deployment."

Good Luck. I hope this DVD will help.

Answer 2

I think the superman idea is a good one if your nephew is into superheros and all. I have a three year old, and my husband is currently deployed. She use to ask for him daily, and my response was typically that he was at work. Kids that age can't understand things like maps, etc. They just need a definate answer of where that person is, and why they can't be there. By telling my daughter that daddy is at work, she can understand that. WORK to her is a concrete place that daddy goes to. Right now he can't come home from work because they need him there. He will be home a long time from now. Good luck with your nephew. And hold strong, my daughter didn't talk to my dh the first few months he was gone. It took time for her to come to that point. If you can gain access to a web cam, or video conference this may help him.

Answer 3

stop your sending him into system overload. he has no grasp of distance maps or other places just tell him that uncle whoever is on a special kind of bye bye and he will be back soon. tell him he didnt run away he left because he had to. this should do oh and that uncle whoever loves him and misses him very much

i went through this a year ago exactly with my son and he was 3 my husband deployed. thank your husband for him and good luck hun i am grateful for all those men and women over there fighting

Answer 4

A 3 year old cannot grasp the concept of great distances, he only knows his uncle is not within sight. Tell your nephew that his uncle has had to go far away and help some people who are having trouble. You might suggest that he color a picture and send it to his uncle.....and of course, his uncle should return a letter of thanks.

Answer 5

His uncle is working to make the world better for all children and this takes him a long way from home.
His nephew has a lot of people here who love him and will take care of him, but there are children who don't have anybody to love them. His uncle has to go and love them, because they are God's children and God needs a little help.
Good luck. .
---------- ,The poor innocent victims of war. Here, stateside, too.
They didn't incent this world, they don't understand it either.

Answer 6

your nephew is too young to understand the whole story. maybe you can tell him that his uncle's boss had to send him away for a while. but he's going to come back and tell him about all the fun they will have together. other than that, i don't know what else to say. good luck.

Answer 7

Tell him that his uncle is a "real" Superman. Tell him his uncle got this call in the middle of the night one night and he had to rush off to take care of the bad guys in the world.