He and I don't live in the same city so only see each other at weekends and stuff. She lives in the same city as him, and sees him fairly regularly. She always phones him when she's drunk, when he is visiting me, and gets angry with him sometimes and hangs up on him, and will get annoyed with him if 'he hasn't said anything nice to her today'. I know this because he tells me about it, or he did a while ago. He said he didn't want me to think anything was going on so wanted to tell me everything. Now he never really mentions her, but I know she still phones him. He seems awkward telling me it was her that called. I haven't got jealous about it with him, or told him I don't want him speaking to her, just that I don't want him ignoring me to speak to her.
Am I just paranoid, or could there be something going on, and what do I do about it?
2007-10-15 12:35:21 · 16 answers · asked by Katrina W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think you should be worried.
Why? Because he said there was nothing going on.
I think you should take his word for it, because he's your boyfriend and trust is just the foundation of a good relationship. (Unless you don't have a good relationship, but that's another story.)
Anyway, if he cares so much about telling you so that you don't misunderstand, then don't misunderstand. He's being honest to you, so I don't think he'd lie about something going on.
What do you do? Just talk to him, tell him how you feel about it. You don't necessarily have to tell him to stop talking to the girl though.
2007-10-15 12:46:48 · answer #1 · answered by rijii 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two aspects to your situation.The first has to do with you and your feelings and the second has to do with your boyfriend and this girl.A long distance relationship is extremely difficult under the best of circumstances but is not doomed to fail.You have nothing to worry about if you and your boyfriend love each other, and remind each other of the things that make it special.On the weekends when you get to see one other, you can strenghten the emotional bonds you share, assure each other of your love for one another, and renew your trust. This brings me to your boyfriend and this girl. I am sure that there are other guys in your city who are interested in you and want to date you; and you rejected and refused them. Should your boyfriend be concerned if you don't tell him every time it happens? The answer, as I see it, is no, because he should trust you. You can not stop people from liking you but you can control how you react. However, because your boyfriend knows how this girl feels about him ,he should cease further contact with her that only encourages her to continue. Unless he loves her or his ego enjoys the attention, he should have no problem with that especially if he truly cares about you. So I suggest you tell him what I said above and that if she was just a platonic friend , there would be no problem. Let him know that you still trust him but don't want the girl to continue to feel that she might have a chance with him.If he refuses then you will know you are not paronoid and that something was not quite right. I hope I am wrong though and he loves you more than he wants to continue to talk to her on the phone.
2007-10-15 13:06:39 · answer #2 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should be worried.
You and your boyfriend need to have a talk. Its not fair to you to hear how she is always trying to break you two apart...then to stop hearing about it when you used to...well, sure, it could merely be that he is annoyed by it and doesn't want to tell you, or he could be humoring her and saying a nice thing to her each day, still loving you, and not intending to do anything mean or wrong to you, but trying to be nice and a friend.
The same thing happened to me...my former best friend tried to steal my boyfriend away from me, she spread rumors, tried to get us to think the other was cheating, flirted with him and called him constantly...it ended up that we both pretty much cut things off with her. Now we're very happy together and have been together for 2 years.
Sadly thats probably how it will end up for you too...(cutting off contact)...and trust me, him not speaking to her is better than the alternative. Cuz I know you can't live like this for too much longer.
Just DO NOT tell him to choose between you, guys don't like that and may dumbly choose the girl not asking her to choose.
I hope things get better
2007-10-15 12:41:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
babe something was and or is going on with the two of them, or she wouldnt of been calling and calling, she had/has his number. "she wants HIS ATTENTION" AND IS GETTING IT"
no your not paranoid! now he is being more hush hush, she might of got it. You need to have a serious one on one with him? AND tell him its "YOU" or "her", i say you let the phone calls go on to long without intervention. im serious there are to many games today. He probably just talks to her to make her happy and you dont interviene and say thats the end. just to make her happy and as long as your not flippin out all is ok.
get some balls, i been told that a few times, maybe you should. if he loves you, you will know then.
2007-10-15 12:53:07 · answer #4 · answered by lbrady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like something is going on. You could just ask him directly, and explain to him that it seems like something is going on, and that you deserve to know. He'd be asking you the same questions if things were the other way around!!
2007-10-15 12:45:39 · answer #5 · answered by Love to Answer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont become the girl that stress over her boyfriend. Just tell him that it bothers you that she calls, and it makes you uncomtable and stuff. He should understand and tell the other girl to back off. Dont push him on it, because he will start pushing you away.
2007-10-15 12:41:35 · answer #6 · answered by monkey_grl32892 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know what? before i would have just thought ' do you know how they keep in contact' because if you do then maybe you would ask him about her. But now that you have said all of that you are not being paranoid. don't bug your boyfriend but keep a watchful eye and ear out.
2007-10-15 12:41:26 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he says nothing is going on, then maybe nothing is. If she is trying to get to him, I suggest you not worry unless you know the type of girl she is and how far she would go.
Trust him, and if he does something wrong, you deserve better hun :)
2007-10-15 12:40:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i agree with the other person who wrote trust no one sounds alittle weird like somethings up and telling you not to worry should give you reason to be concerned tell him to make up his mind you or her shes getting way to controlling of him to just be friends
2007-10-15 12:42:32 · answer #9 · answered by chadjuly4 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's logical to notice potential red flags. Just remain aware.
2007-10-15 12:38:59 · answer #10 · answered by csucdartgirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋