I have a brother who is a violent alcoholic and borderline retarded in intelligence. We don't know what to do with him.
He can't get a job because of his criminal record.
He can't keep a job because his alcoholic temper eventually flares up.
He can't live with anyone, not my parents or even a roommate, because of his problem.
My parents have been shelling out lots of cash to keep him in a rental apartment but it is becoming a financial burden. They have considered investing in property to give him a place to live (and not waste money on rent) but it is a risky investment.
I don't feel it should be my parents' problem but their attitude is that they need to do something because he can't seem to take care of himself.
What options does my family have in dealing with my brother?
2007-10-15 11:16:07 · 4 answers · asked by Professor 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm afraid that I cannot give you any advice on how to deal with your brother. But I can give you a suggestion for yourself. I strongly recommend Al-anon for you and your parents, if they will go. If they won't, you still can. In Al-anon, you will learn how to live a sane life while insane people are in your life.
No one is going to tell you what to do about your brother, but they will share with you their experiences while dealing with the alcoholics/addicts in their lives. Besides other people, Al-anon has a lot of literature, books and pamphlets, to give you direction for a better life for yourself.
You cannot control your brother or your parents. I used to feel the same way about my in-laws and the way they dealt with my husband and his sister. But I finally got it that I cannot control them, and I am not responsible for them. I can only take care of myself. My example has led to some positive changes in my in-laws and my children.
Please give it a try. I know that it is scary to go to a meeting, but you will soon realize that you are not alone. There are many others out there who have to deal with the same kind of insanity. Me included.
2007-10-16 15:19:43 · answer #1 · answered by Tracy B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALL of you go to him and tell him he is on his own swim sink or drown.There ARE homeless shelters, AA rehab, GOD and if none of those suit him that leaves , the streets, prison and the graveyard .
Then walk away.You CANNOT help someone who WILL NOT hewlp theirself.
2007-10-15 18:24:51 · answer #2 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He definitely needs some therapy. He may qualify for social services or state aid.
2007-10-15 18:23:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try rehab. There is a good show that comes on cable "Intervention" they deal with their sort of thing
2007-10-15 19:20:52 · answer #4 · answered by bigd26ntn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋