I've been with my boyfriend for two years now. We have had sex, and I feel comfortable doing things for him (To be frank, i mean giving head and also handj***) Although when I ask him if I would get anything in return, he says he doesnt want to because he thinks womens vaginas are unattractive. I feel rejected because i feel like he was targetting me and he promises me thats it's not me, it's just all women in general that he finds the vagina unattractive and that he's unexperienced at head and using his hand. I was sympathetic and told him I didnt care how experienced he was, and accepted what he said although I felt it very frustrating at times.
Although recently he has told me that he realises that it's unfair for me to be giving him what he wants, and then he doesnt return. So he said he would like to try it. Although whenever we seem to get into the mood of it, he gets really nervous. Is there something wrong with me? Or is he just scared he'll let me down?
2007-10-15 10:15:14 · 10 answers · asked by cosmetic_x 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stop being stupid. He's not gay he's just inexperienced. Don't be so immature I'm asking for advice not abuse so don't be idiots about it!
2007-10-15 10:22:21 · update #1
AND I'm not dumping him just because he wont give me foreplay.. the relationship isn't based on sex, it's based on love. But I would have liked some advice on how to make him less nervous.
2007-10-15 10:25:49 · update #2
Either he is EXTREMELY selfish, or maybe you have some odor he doesn't like. ask him!
2007-10-15 10:20:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm sure it's not you; I knew a guy who wouldn't give oral because the smell was a complete turn off, but he would use his hands.
Just help your boyfriend out. Let him know that you won't be disappointed because you're happy he's trying, you love him, you want to share this with him, you're not going to insult him or his attempts, etc. He needs some confidence!
Start with him using his hand. If he's not hitting the right spot, guide him there. Tell him this is where/how you like it. Help him by moving his hand. Show him if he's that scared. Ultimately, he'll know where to go and can start using his mouth. Again, don't discourage him - and if you have to, do it for a limited amount of time, but let him know ahead of time so he doesn't think you're stopping him because he's bad at it. Be sure to focus on all the things he does well - be verbal, praise him, that sort of thing.
Let him know that you really want him to do this and you'll help him with it. Don't let him feel discouraged or nervous, and if he is, don't make him continue.
2007-10-15 10:29:59 · answer #2 · answered by xK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not saying dump him... But give him a taste of his own medicine. Stop giving him oral pleasure. Tell him a relationship in every phase is supposed to be based on fairness, that includes sex. So until he's willing to be a little more giving, you'll not give any either.
And if he's nervous (if that's really the reason he won't do it, instead of just outright selfishness) then talk him through it. Tell him what feels good, what doesn't.
2007-10-15 10:29:18 · answer #3 · answered by alwaysremembertwentytwo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are give and take. If he loves you, he'll return the favor. He's probably self conscious if he hasn't had much practice. He's insecure about doing it, because he doesn't want you to be disappointed. Whenever he does attempt foreplay on you, tell him what feels good.. show him what you want to do and to what area. Give him confidence boosts by telling him how good it feels, and how happy it makes you that he's doing this for you. After he does it a few times, it won't be so bad. Good luck!
2007-10-15 10:25:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
men could have extraordinary fantasies, yet whilst a guy cares for you, he should not be asking for permission to wreck you?! There are some creepy fetishes available, yet as quickly as I have been you, i could say no and then attempt and locate out how a strategies those fantasies rather strengthen... As in in case you quite like him and he's typical in each and every opposite direction then asserting no might desire to be the top of it. If this has rather replaced the way you notice him, then harm up with him. although, if he spends his days gazing mutilation and gore and performs violent video games and according to danger immerses himself in something violent, then it rather is probable some form of illness and you're able to appropriate get out speedy till you prefer to grow to be a factor of them. do no longer attempt and fasten it or him the two.
2016-10-09 07:23:34 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would venture to say that he's honestly scared of doing it wrong. There are books out there, but depending on your ages, he might not feel comfortable keeping those around the house where Mom and Dad could find them. He'll do other things for you, though, right? Like touch you, caress you, play with your hair? So it's not you...I think he's honestly scared of taking care of you in...eh-hem...that department.
I think that might be a natural fear for boys who are inexperienced. Think about it--the female body is very complicated compared to theirs!
2007-10-15 10:21:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
he seems to be acting like a idiot. I don't mind giving a girl that. I'd rather do that than get it. Dump him and find a guy who likes doing it.
2007-10-15 10:22:06 · answer #7 · answered by enyeto1973 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds extremely selfish to me... while you can't always expect minute for minute, without foreplay it would be hard to get going...
Sounds like he's taking what he wants...
2007-10-15 10:28:39 · answer #8 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just doesn't want to do something wrong and make you want to leave him.
2007-10-15 10:24:39 · answer #9 · answered by Pvt. Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE IS GAY.MOVE ON>AND HE IS SELFISH>
2007-10-15 10:20:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋