Yes, the price is high, and the shoes are $70. I know the bride wants the best, but I am not working right now, and would not let the bride know about that. Plus there is the gift of at least a $100 for the bridal shower and then the gift of another $100 for the wedding. This is at least $650 that I don't have or have in savings at all. Credit card is the only way to go.
Any other bridesmaids financially strapped?
2007-10-15 08:43:55 · 27 answers · asked by Born Valentine's Day 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Please no suggestions on the bride financially helping me. I wouldn't want her responsible for me. It's her day-- I understand.
2007-10-15 08:45:49 · update #1
If you can't afford it then maybe you should tell her that you can't be a part of the wedding party, or suggest maybe doing a reading at the wedding. I'm sure that your friend does not want to put a financial burden on you. Things are very expensive now of days, I would let her know. I'm sure she would understand, and although you did say do not advise asking for her help, if you told her the truth she may want to help you out. I would not put yourself at a burden for a wedding. Maybe also instead of the gifts for bridal shower and wedding offer to help with other things, like decorating, etc. Like I said I'm sure she will understand.
2007-10-15 08:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by Meggie Smalls 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey! Why do you think you have to buy $100 present for the shower and $100 present for the wedding? Your friend cannot possibly expect that! And if she does, she's spoiled rotten!
I'm sure she has items on her guest registry that aren't so expensive. If not, go in with another bridesmaid and get her something for the shower. Skip the wedding day present. She's not going to expect 2 gifts from you or anyone else unless she's a total brat.
You could ask your parents to float you a loan, or take a part-time job to make som extra money real quick.
You could also tell the bride you won't be able to stand with her at the wedding because you don't have the money.
Whatever you do, don't put this on a credit card. Your friend doesn't expect you to financially strain yourself on her behalf. At least if she really is a friend, she won't.
2007-10-15 15:52:51 · answer #2 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me too. My other friend and I actually voiced to the bride that we were very concerned about the price of the shoes she wanted us to get... but we ended up having to get them anyway. I was lucky enough to find the EXACT shoes she wanted in my size, brand new on ebay - it's always worth looking!
If you happen to be getting the dresses/shoes from David's Bridal, I believe they will let you open a credit card with no interest for 6 months. Other places might have a similar option if it's not a small/local boutique.
$100 for a shower and wedding gift? You're a generous friend! lol.
For a shower gift, I saved money by picking a bunch of small items from her registry that were kitchen related - dish towels, a dish sponge/detergent holder,etc., and bundled them all together in an inexpensive wooden bowl that I found on clearance. It only ended up costing me about $20 (I also used coupons for the stores she was registered at - depending where they're reigistered. Hers was Bed Bath and Beyond, and you can sign up for their mailings and regularly get a 20% coupon in the mail. Department stores often have % off coupons in the newspaper or offer you a % off if you open their store credit card).
You can also go in with someone on a gift - the same broke friend and I did that for the wedding present, so they still got a nice gift that they wanted, but we only spent half as much as we would have otherwise.
2007-10-16 10:23:49 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I got married I knew that at least one of my bridesmaids would be financially strapped so I offered to pay for the gown when I asked her. Your friend should of chose to be a bit more budget friendly. However, at this point I am not sure there is an alternative except for one of two things either put in on the credit card or to gently tell her that even though you would love to be in the weeding, financially this is not an option for you at this time. It is a possibility that she can look at an alternative gown and shoes or find another roll in the wedding such as a bible or poem reading during the ceremony.
2007-10-19 15:10:42 · answer #4 · answered by Penny D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHY do YOU have to giver her $200?? Give what you can. Also, is there away of asking your family for some help paying for the outragously priced attire?
My friends wedding the samething happened to 2 of the bridesmaids and they both asked to borrow the $$ from the bride. And well, the bride wasn't too happy but, did any way.
Try and see if you can find the dress and shoes on different sites to see if one is cheaper.
If worse came to worse you might want to graciously back out of being in her wedding party.
Good luck!
2007-10-15 16:10:17 · answer #5 · answered by Squiggly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Bow out of the bridal party. Tell the bride that you are financially strapped and you cannot go into debt because of a wedding. Tell you feel very bad about it, but really cannot afford it.
2007-10-15 19:18:09 · answer #6 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Argh, no offense to your friend, but I hate brides like that!!! A) shoes should be up to the bridesmaid B) She should understand what a budget is like, and if she isn't on a budget then she should be paying
Don't spend $100.00 on a gift for her and her groom.... the gift was your helping out in the wedding so much. If she is really your friend she will understand.
2007-10-15 16:19:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who says you have to spend $200 on gifts for the bride??? None of my bridesmaids spent that on me, and if they had, I would've felt that they spent WAY too much. For her shower, get her a small item off of her registry or something inexpensive like cute lingerie (you can get really cute, inexpensive stuff from Wal-Mart) or a frame or album for wedding pictures. Keep in mind that it's totally socially acceptable to give a wedding gift up to a year after the wedding date. Wait three or four months after the wedding until you can afford a wedding gift, and then get something you can afford (not more than $50.)
2007-10-15 16:14:28 · answer #8 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bride is responsible for you. Her getting married doesn't allow her to pick the most expensive stuff and not care how you guys are going to pay for it. Since she picked you as a bridesmaid, I assume you're close friends. It's time to stop frontin' and get real with her about your financial situation.
My bridesmaid straight up told me that she couldn't afford much, but since I really wanted her to be in my wedding for being such a good friend, I understood and bought her dress for her. Being a bride's attendant is about being there for her on one of the most important day of her life, not dressing up, looking cute and pretending you have money.
2007-10-15 17:07:42 · answer #9 · answered by Peace 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, who says that you have to get a gift of at least $100 for the shower AND the wedding? That seems over the top, especially if you arent working...
2007-10-15 19:11:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋