Two ship captains were sitting at the bar one night getting good and lit when one turned to the other and said, "You know what gets me, though, is these damn sailors! Oh sure, they're fine for the first few weeks, but on those three-month trips at sea they start getting pretty hard up. With all the whacking off going on, it's a wonder any work is getting done, and it's making a mess all over the ship. I don't know what to do!"
The other captain smiles knowingly at his companion. "Oldest trick in the book. You take the crew and divide them into two teams. Then you buy about 50 barrels and put them on the ship. You tell the crew that the team that fills the most barrels wins a bag of gold."
"Well that's a great way to keep the ship clean, but then I'm out a bag of gold every trip!"
"Not so," replied the other captain. "After you get back to port, take all the barrels together and sell them to the wax factory to make into candles. You make a tidy profit every time."
The captain pondered this and the next day, he took his friend's advice and divided the crew, bought a bunch of barrels, and set off to sea. Before long, the crew took to the new system and began filling barrel after barrel.
When they finally reached port, the captain sold the barrels for a huge profit. 'This is great,' thought the captain, 'before long, I'll be able to buy a new boat!'
This went on, voyage after voyage. Then one day, the ship happened back to that very first port. Coming down the gangplank, the captain was surprised to see the cops waiting for him. As they slapped the cuffs on him, the captain cried out, "What's the meaning of this?!"
"You sick bastard," replied the cop. "Remember all those barrels you sold to the candle factory last time you passed through town?"
"Sure," said the captain. "What about 'em?!"
"Well, they made them into candles, sold them to the convent, and now all the nuns are pregnant!"
2007-10-15 08:21:09 · 10 answers · asked by Love Me♥ 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
it sounds to me like the nuns used the candles, which were full of semen, to masturbate.
Not funny...
2007-10-15 08:25:01 · answer #1 · answered by dinny's engaged!! 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
As charming and classy as this joke is, they made candles out of the fruits of the sailors' masturbatory efforts, and sold them to the church. The nuns, being sworn to celibacy, used the candles as makeshift dildos, hence impregnating them with the sailors' semen which was used in the candles.
2007-10-15 08:26:53 · answer #2 · answered by Joe Card 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ahahahahah this is a funny joke
if u really dont know the meaning of this joke i'll tell you it means every time the guy gave sperm to make candles and those candles would be delivered to nuns house. and i hope you get the rest lol
2007-10-15 08:26:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The nuns were using the candles to, uh, 'pleasure' themselves and got pregnant. Get it now?
2007-10-15 08:26:44 · answer #4 · answered by Shoeless Joe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe the nuns had used the candles as a substitute for a didlo and since they were made of sperm when the candles warmed up(with use) the sperm impregnated the nuns?
2007-10-15 08:25:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The nuns were using the candles to pleasure themselves... it's pretty funny when you think about it.
2007-10-15 08:26:12 · answer #6 · answered by Inferno13 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the sailores are jerkin it into a barrel and they make sperm candles and the nuns use them to masturbate and they get pregnate well there at it
2007-10-15 08:26:14 · answer #7 · answered by spuds_316 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Camille , If your going to sit on the front porch and bark for 10 years you should have god's permission ;)
2016-05-22 19:36:38 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the nuns were using them to pleasure themselves
2007-10-15 08:29:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, "whacking off!" If you don't get it after citing this whole joke then maybe it just shouldn't be explained to you.
Alls I can say is, "OMG!!" Sick nuns!!
2007-10-15 08:28:53 · answer #10 · answered by Diva 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋