I'm suicidal...what do I need to do?

Question

I am bipolar with borderline personality disorder. I divorced in June, have no job, no money for food and I have no desire to live. The only thing keeping me from cutting my wrists right now are my 2 children that I DON'T have custody over! I cry all the time that I'm not asleep and my family, mom and sister, are clueless. I fight the urge minute by minute to go through with this and I need help! I don't want to call my psychiatrist or therapist because I don't have the money to give them. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Answer 1

Usually people in your situation go to the hospital. I don't think they should have to do that, but in America that's what you have to do.

Answer 2

I have Borderline Personality Disorder too. And I also have a little boy and no job, so I can relate to how you are feeling. I have been suicidal many, many times before, and I know that right know you feel like there is nothing that can help, and like this will never pass, but it will. Think back to the other times in your life you have felt like this. But you recovered, right? You got right back up and kept fighting.
Just by writing on here, it shows that you are fighting, and reaching out for help. Ok, so you dont have custody over your kids, but they still NEED you. you are still their mum. You don't say where you are from, but i'm guessing you're in the US as you said you need money for therapy?
I dont know if they have the same thing over there, but here in the UK we have helplines for suicidal people. There must be something similar where you are. Or just go to your local emergency department.
The priority here is to keep yourself safe. Is there a friend or neighbour you could go to, and just spend some time with? Just so you aren't alone. Just keep focusing on the little things, and take each minute as it comes. Get out some pictures of your kids and write a list of all the things you have to live for.
Be strong, and this WILL pass.

Answer 3

Without God's love, you will always crave more and more and never be content.

Without a friend that gives you an honest answer when you want one, who gives you one out of love, you will always feel some misery. And if you only have friends that flatter you, you may be depressed knowing that they are doing so because they want to take advantage of you in some way rather than truly loving you, or loving you with a pure love, love which isn't self-seeking.

Also, you may have a poor diet which is causing a chemical imbalance or making you depressed due to its blandness, have past trauma that is still bothering you because you don't know how to deal with it or because it was very painful, are encountering unpleasant smells often (like perhaps from a new rug which smells bad), have bland surroundings (you may want to decorate your walls with posters), have unpleasant parents, don't have friends or ones that give you bad to no advice when you ask for the help or when it's obvious you need it, you may have a boring getting-no-where life, or you may feel as if you're not getting your way in general (which frustrates everyone who feels that way).

I had problems with depression and suicide due to my parents neglecting my education, including knowledge about right from wrong, and not having much interesting or helpful to do. I also got bullied at school for how I was dressed and appeared before I was 14 and of course, instead of the bullies being punished I was the one who got stuck in a miserable substitute for a "normal" public high school and had next to no friends while there (and still have about none). Soon after attending that school I was bullied by the police off an on a few times. Other miserable things happened including being repeatedly kicked out and being mistreated at nearly all the jobs I had by coworkers or bosses who harassed me out of them. But, God saved me and helped me beat my depression and allowed and helped me to accomplish some great things that I can take comfort in having accomplished no matter how miserable. I'm still depressed sometimes, but it's not as bad now since he's opened my eyes.

Check out the link in my profile if you are interested in spiritual help, which I found has been a lasting and permanent solution heading towards perfect peace. I hope you show the link to others.

Answer 4

You need to talk to your psychiatrist and maybe a medication change will help bring your chemical balance back. I am a nurse and I have family members and friend with the same disorder. You have nothing to be ashamed about nor don't loose your fight to live. I am sure you are a good person and mother. Even if you just call your doctor and let him know what is going on.... Like I said, they can help you by reevaluating the effectiveness of your RX. Let someone close to you know about your feelings too. It is a pleasant surprise to what great "healing" a friendly smile can do. BUT please call your doctor and let him know what's wrong. He can't help you unless you tell him what to "fix".

Answer 5

Only get a puppy if you feel like you could take care of him/her. If you can be responsible enough for a puppy you would feel better and have a friend for a long time.

You can call local PD and they can put you in touch with a county or state assistance programs. Sometimes local Social Services and Hospitals have emergency programs like this.

Good Luck and Get Better!!!

Answer 6

Fight for your life. Call to your psychiatrist immediately. It's not about money, it's about you. Tell to your mom, sister and family you need help right now!!!!!!! I have experience and I know what I'm saying. See psychiatrist immediately!!!!!!

Answer 7

Call 911 and tell them. They'll put you in for a 72 hr hold. If they find you mentally disabled more than likely you'll be covered under medicare for your psychiatric problems or get disablilty benefits.

Answer 8

Go to the hospital.

Answer 9

i contemplated suicide this morning. I am in the same position as u are right now, beleive it or not. Mabe we can help eachother. you can e-mail me at [e-mail].

Answer 10

We're almost exactly the same -email me and let me tell you my solutions