my b/f of 10 years started using cocaine about 6-9 months ago and he is increasingly using more and more. i have threatened to call the cops, served him with eviction papers. he won't talk to his family or friends. it's like he's trying to kill himself with drugs. i'm at my wits end.
2007-10-15 07:26:07 · 13 answers · asked by terri l 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
lots of great answers here already,....
first; take care of yourself-stop enabling him, get yourself to an alanon or naranon meeting (preferably a bunch of them).
if he is mooching off you-livin rent free etc. kick his *** out and get an restraining order. if he comes home high-call the cops, tell his employer too, especially if they have random drug testing and insurance. i know this is a hard line to draw---but tough love is your best friend right now!!!
Listen very closely now; coke is an insideous drug that will turn honest people into manipulative whores and thieves. Your boyfriend is in the grip of a chemical succubus that will bleed him dry (along with you and anyone else foolish enough to support his habit). If you continue to enable him,you will drive yourself crazy and possibly help him die.
2007-10-15 08:07:45 · answer #1 · answered by parkermbg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am an addict in recovery for four and a half years. There was nothing anyone could say or to make me stop using. My parents called the cops on me many times. At the time I hated them for it, but now I thank them for it. They did what they thought was best even though it caused everyone pain. They got to the point where they could not watch me hurt myself anymore. It is hard, but it is way harder to watch him go through this. If you call the cops, he may be able to get help. If you do it, make sure that he is actually using or they can't do anything. Just tell the cops that he is using drugs in your house and you don't want him around to hurt himself or anyone else. I may be a hard thing to do, but you don't have to watch this.
2007-10-15 07:37:13 · answer #2 · answered by totalhealthinterventions 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Addicts are known to be good at manipulating the people close to them. They play on fear and guilt feelings that all of have when it comes to the health of a loved one. The first thing you should do is become involved with Alanon to learn how to help your addict while at the same time keeping yourself mentally healthy. Secondly, you must never ever make a promise to an addict that you refuse to keep. In other words if you "threaten to call the police" you should do so. Make your bark have some bite. It is not easy to do this and runs contrary to what you think you should do. But really my friend, get to an alanon meeting. There you will meet people who have gone through what you are currently going through and you will see that there is hope and people willing to listen and help. I hope this helps.
2007-10-15 07:45:38 · answer #3 · answered by mike52ad 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Until someone wants to quit, there's not a damn thing you can do about it. As any alcoholic will tell you, a person has to hit absolute rock bottom AND ADMIT IT before they decide to change.
Until then, all you can do is get out of their way, and DON'T HELP. If you help them, they won't hit rock bottom, and they'll keep on using. Loaning them money, bailing them out, giving sympathy will just make the process longer and more painful.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but that doesn't make it less true.
2007-10-15 07:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOu must leave him and let him have his own life.
he has to want to quit.
You can also pray for him. Ask god for someone to come into the path of his life so that he can get help and you need to move forward.. as much as that hurts just let him go....
find a safe place to move to.. and don't give him the information that you are going to leave him.. just leave .... take what you want the first time you leave and dont go back and dont make contact with him.... maybe seek help from a shelter or support group...
2007-10-15 07:36:46 · answer #5 · answered by eyebeeablessing2u 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has to want to help himself first.Where does he get the money for these drugs? Does he live with you rent free? Then, you are enabling him by allowing him to have the money to afford the drugs.The next move is yours.Get away from hom.If he truly wants to be with you, he will go to rehab.
2007-10-15 07:36:12 · answer #6 · answered by Harley Lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is not a thing you can do for him, he has to want to help himself. Your best bet is to get rid of him and move on, it's a shame to give up on ten years, but it's his doing not yours, you need to protect yourself and since he won't accept help, then you must sever the relationship. If he is bent on self destruction, there isn't anything you can do to stop him.
2007-10-15 07:31:09 · answer #7 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sad as it is, the only thing you can do is stop enabling them.
If that means cutting them out of your life, that's what it means.
HE has to want to stop, nothing you can say or do will make him, so you have to start thinking about yourself first and foremost.
2007-10-15 07:29:51 · answer #8 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would gather his friends and family to have an intervention. If enough people stand together to tell him to change, it may be enough to get him to get the help he needs. If not, then I would advise to end your relationship.
2007-10-15 07:37:29 · answer #9 · answered by John B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if he suffering from any mental health issues and is seriously trying to kill himself you could look into getting him sectioned and going cold turkey but you need a social worker psyciatirs and doctors to section him ,,,, just depends where you live but you carnt really help someone who wont accept it and start to help themself ,,,,,i know beacuse i suffered depression for ages and wanted everyone else to get me better but then i relized it was me that needed to make the first proper step,,, good luck,, sorry i carnt be much help,,,,,
2007-10-15 07:37:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋