Why is spanking "bad" now?

Question

Why is so associated with poor parenting now, when 30 years ago it was perfectly acceptable and was a good way to teach them to behave? Now I know that there's the problem with child abuse and stuff, but if your kids are getting an occasional spanking for out of control or unacceptable behavior and this happens once in a while, what is so bad with it?

Answer 1

30 years ago it was also ok for parent to chain smoke around the babies and children....

We try and try to teach our children the value of self-control. Why Johnny can't whack Susie because she took her toy away? Because there are other ways of dealing with the situation. But when we get mad and smack our children, what do they learn from this? That when you get mad, violence is an appropriate response. The world does not need this.

I once saw a father smacking his son hard saying while he was doing this, "Stop --- hitting --- your -- sister!!!!!". I wonder where the son learned this behavior?

Answer 2

Absolutely nothing. This "unacceptable behavior" of years past worked, didn't it? The problem is people cannot seem to distinguish between a disciplinary spanking and beating their child, so the government steps in, "to protect the children". It does protect some children, but unfortunately those type of people still continue their cycle of beating children and women. As a child, I was spanked and believe me we didn't do that again, or we became sneaky. I in turn, spanked my children for what I determined worthy of spanking-a temper tantrum, disobedience, not listening (after at least three times), lying and such other behaviors that will in due time lead to disruptive behavioral issues. I attempted to teach my children this while they were young, 1-4, because I didn't want issues in school. I rarely have to spank them now, oh once in a great while, I have to get down on them about mostly attitude, which I do not tolerate.
I have worked in a school setting and have observed both child and parent. This world is going to be run by spoiled brats. Parents are afraid to say, No. Oh they say, my child won't like me. Excuse me? You are the parent, not a friend. You are the adult, set rules and keep them, no matter how hard they fuss. And parents let them fuss and scream and throw things and slap them until I want to spank the parent and tell them to grow up and act like an adult with a backbone. Obviously most parents think I'm mean, but I am not. I just don't let my children run my household, my husband runs it and I back him up. I am not perfect at all, I have my mistakes and take time to apologize for them. Good luck..

Answer 3

1- Spanking is done for serious things here. my husband spanks the older 3 if necessary. Using anything other than a open hand on the bottom is against the law in Canada and it must be reasonable ( look up Canadian Criminal law section 43 on the Internet ). This can be dicey depending on what a judges opinion is on the subject. You can only spank here from the age of 2 to age 12. There are far better methods of punishment for children over the age of 6 years. 4- Boys are 5, 8 10 and 12 I consider them very well behaved and have had lots of nice comments regarding that. My boys have always had a warm loving home, good communication with us as parents and stable home life. ( Connie Mom of 4 Boys )

Answer 4

Holli B - You nailed it!!! I so agree! It is only perceived to be "bad" because the liberal PC crowd hollers its abuse and they're too stupid to know the difference. It is ignorance to say spanking breeds violence, some of the most violent kids I know were never spanked if they had been maybe they wouldn't be so violent! My girls are some of the kindest sweetest girls I know they are not violent even with each other. I know I am biased but I know what I know! To each his own but the "bad" thing about spanking is that it is not used when many times if it was it would make a difference in a lot of lives. Many are in prison today who might not have ended up there if they had been given a spanking when they were young. Don't let the liberal crowd deceive you! I agree with olschoolmom too! You are 100% correct!

Answer 5

I was never ever spanked and my parents raised me to be a respectful and responsible person. It can be done. Not spanking does not equal permissive parenting, just like the occasional spanking does not equal child abuse. I just feel there are much better ways to teach a child than using corporal punishment.

Answer 6

it is not bad its just people havedifferent views i for one completly belive in it and i think like 30yrs ago it should bestill the done thing instead of time out i mean yes i completly see were there coming from with child abuse but not a few swats on the bare bum or what ever

Answer 7

spanking has become synonymous with hitting, although it should never have been. physical violence and instilling fear in children was a common practice that has since been labeled abuse. rightly so.

spanking has a bad rap because it is often misused. it becomes a swat on the bum as the child walks away. this is not effective at all. just like yelling at your child doesn't help them listen.

i think it takes alot of self-control on behalf of the parent to include spanking as a disciplinary measure because it is frustrating when kids misbehave or don't listen. and when we get frustrated its hard not to feel mad; spanking should not be used in anger. i have to be calm and reasonable and use a spanking sparingly. overuse is also not effective. i think it is quite possible that some parents are not meant to spank, just as some people cannot handle stressful jobs or too many children, if you are easily angered and throw things at your spouse or yell at your pets, maybe its not safe for you to do it.

i was strongly against spanking or questioned the idea of it as my daughter was very sensitive and seemed to respond well to time-outs or distractions...however, the day came when i resigned myself to spank on occasion.

i think good discipline requires that i acknowledge my child's misbehavior
by getting down to her eye level, making eye contact and letting her know that its either time for a time-out, or if it is a more serious offense, a spanking. and at this point, of nearly 3 years old, if she refuses to have a time out, she gets a spank.

i have decided that it is important to me that my daughter listen to me/obey me, and respect other adults too. this is probably the main reason i discipline her. i want her to grow up being someone who respects others even when her opinions are different from theirs. i often say that i don't let her get away with anything. that's the way i see it, nip it in the bud right away, so that it doesn't grow into a huge issue.

if you expect a certain behavior from your child, they'll live up to it. my daughter is a very good girl. she has her terrible two days, but she listens, she is safe, she loves and is helpful.

i wanted to give a balanced view on the side of spanking. I'm learning too, and its been said by some spanking advocates, that it is only appropriate to use spanking from 2 to 5 years old. i think it will probably be shorter for my daughter as she is very communicative now.

Answer 8

It's definitely not "bad", it's not the same as abuse.

People who keep insisting it's "bad" may have been actually abused at one time, and I feel badly for them. Abuse is definitely not right, ever. Spanking, on the other hand, is an appropriate form of punishment.

I was spanked as a child, as were my siblings. My children get spanked, on occasion, if they have done something very wrong. It's not something that gets out of hand.

Don't allow others to make you think that it's "bad".

Answer 9

Because people dont have a clue if people thing that spanking is like abuse they have never seen a child who is abused . There is a total difference between the 2 there is nothing wrong with spanking a child

Answer 10

I dont know why it is seen as bad. I guess b/c everything is supposed to be "politically correct" or whatever!! or maybe b/c some people do take it too far, or just spank all the time.
Actually, I hear most of the negative comments on spanking her on Yahoo! Where I'm from we still spank our kids when they really need it! We don't beat, yell, or put them down, but when they need it, they get it!

Dr James Dobson has some great parenting books and believes in spanking when used the right way.

Answer 11

Because child abuse is on the rise, and people are becoming more paranoid about it. Not everyone disagrees with spanking, though. It's not illegal yet, either, (although I think it soon will be). Some people do occasionally smack their childrens' butts for good, rational reasons of discipline, and not because they're abusive maniacs.