Ive been mates with a lad for13years now. I went out with him 3years ago for about 9months. It was never really serious and i did nothing more than kiss him. We remained very good friends and i speak to him all the time through texts and msn. I very rarely get chance to meet up with him, but hes having a party this friday and has invited me.... one problem, my boyfriend of 14months has a problem with it. He doesnt understand that were just mates nothing more. I understand he must have doubts coz this is an ex-boyfriend but he shud trust me, if any1 has reasons to doubt trust its me, as he cheated on me 4months ago. I really dnt wanna risk ma relationship but i dnt wanna lose my best mate. Plz Help... thanks in advance xxxx
2007-10-15 06:33:57 · 11 answers · asked by Claireluvsyaxx 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My boyfriend is already going out on friday with his friends, he expects me to sit and wait for him which im not doing. xx
2007-10-15 06:40:00 · update #1
I love this lad very much and dont want to lose him. No i dnt creep about behind his back he knows eery time i speak to my mate and doesnt bother just when an opportunity arrises to see him xx
2007-10-15 06:44:14 · update #2
He didnt cheat on me for 4 months he cheated one night 4months ago x
2007-10-15 06:45:56 · update #3
He has asked me to go out with him but a lad is going who i cant get along with and i dnt want that to ruin the night. My boyfriend has met my friend and has been invited along but sed he wudnt *** near! xx
2007-10-15 06:48:35 · update #4
Communication
Tell your boyfriend that you consider this guy to be your brother, that you're friends, ("he is firmly ensconced in the "friends" zone, kinda like the phantom zone in Superman")
If your boyfriend can't get that, he may have a serious insecurity issue to deal with.
The fact that he cheated on you most likely means that he's expecting you to cheat on him, (expects you to act like he did).
He can either learn to trust you, or hit the road. You're not the one with the trust issues.
Luck
2007-10-15 06:37:13 · answer #1 · answered by spam_free_he_he 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're wrong to want to maintain this friendship and go to the party. Your boyfriend needs to realize that you are allowed to have friends, both male and female. Has he met your friend yet? Maybe if you arranged a meeting that included your BF, he could get to know him and see that he is not a potential threat, and maybe form a friendship with him as well. If I were your BF, I WOULD get upset if this male friend always invited only you to places without making mention of your BF, because that is something that male "friends" typically do when they are trying to make the friendship something more. But if you and your friend always include your BF, or at least invite him along, he will get the idea that it is really truly just a friendship, nothing to get worked up over.
2007-10-15 06:44:40 · answer #2 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you should have trust issues not him. I would go to the party with or without him. Boyfriends come and go your friends will be there until the end. He not a good boyfriend if he cheated on you anyway. Good luck just don't sit at home and wait on him.
2007-10-15 06:43:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What relationship would you be hurting. One with a person that has already cheated on you. That's not a very good relationship in the first place. He doesn't trust you because he can't be trusted. There's nothing you'll be able to say to change his mind. Because he knows if it was him he'd cheat. So he expects the same from you.
2007-10-15 06:42:03 · answer #4 · answered by shellshell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its the fact that he cheated on you recently that is making him insecure for you to be around someone you were once interested in. He's afraid you'll seek revenge, or run to this other guy for comfort. Does your boyfriend know that you msg him all the time? If he's ok with that, then it seems like he'd be ok with you talking to the guy with him being right next to you. But if you're sneaking around to talk to him, maybe that's why your boyfriend is not not sure whether you can be just friends...
2007-10-15 06:41:46 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Perception 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your boyfriend, you should loose him. he cheated on you for 4 months, and your still with him, yet he DOESNT TRUS YOU(!!!!!!!!) to go to a party with your best friend. im sorry but you should lose your boyfriend. you are putting to much trust into him and he's probably using you. he may say that he likes you be he doesnt if he cheated on your for 4 months. this is just a simple problem. think about. would you-
A. Lose your best mate and stick with your boyfriend who's cheated on your for 4 months and probably still is, he's probably lying about it
or...
B. Stick with your boyfriend who doesnt trust you to go to this party, lose your best mate ever, and be stuck with no one to look to, you'll lose the one person you can trust the most and lean one whenever, he's your best mate c'mon! ho's before bro's mate!!!( he's your ho because he's your mate..if you get what im saying) lose your boyfriend. stick with your best mate and have a great time at the party!
2007-10-15 06:44:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cheated on you. Most of the time when someone has trust issues it's b/c he or she is cheating themselves. Since he cheated on you, he should be kissing your butt and telling you to go to the party and have a good time and maybe even accompany you to the party. So I would go b/c he who cheated on you owes you a long time of *** kissing!!! So GO TO THE PARTY!!!!!!!!!
2007-10-15 06:46:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend doesnt trust you...I would tell him to get over it because by not wanting you to spend time with a "friend" he is trying to control your actions...thats a no! no!
2007-10-15 06:39:43 · answer #8 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i understood your question right....your current bf cheated on you... then it's you who shouldn't trust him!! honey... i say go to the party and have fun! best friend is worth more than your boyfriend who cheated on you.
2007-10-15 06:39:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I think I would ask and see if I can go out with him and his friends and see what he says I hate when man think that they can have all the fun and leave us home..ask if you can go with him if he says no then go to your ex's party tell you man that your going and that its not fair to you for him to leave you ..that if he doesnt want to go out with you thats fine theres plenty of other people that would LOVE to hang out with you..wish him fun...and put on your best outfit and PARTY!!
2007-10-15 06:45:12 · answer #10 · answered by Babygirl000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋