Help! I just found out that my niece is cutting herself. I would really like to understand some things about

Question

it so I can help her.

1) Can you recommend any good websites or books on the subject?
2) Why is it that teens feel that it releaves stress? That's PAIN! and it leaves permanent scars. How can doing something like that be a stress reliever?
3) She's given herself 6 cuts on her wrist. They're not very bad and she said she had to do it on 4 separate occasions to draw blood. Now she says she's done with it -- for good. I just feel like the emotional crisis is over and the next time an emotional trigger comes along, she'll just do it again. She says she realizes it was dumb and that I should trust her. What do you think? She thinks it is MAJOR overkill to put her in therapy and her parents agree -- for now. How can we be SURE she's not doing it again? I know kids are very clever at hiding stuff like this.

Thanks in advance for your help.

Edit: SHE told her parents about it.

Answer 1

Tell her that if it was bad enough to put her in crisis to the point of cuuting herself it is bad enough to go into therapy. My parents founs out I'd cut when I was 15, they didn't do anything about it. Now at 21 I rotate in and out of crisis, been in A&E 3 times this year with overdoses, and I cut to the piont of creating scars.

She needs to learn better coping mechanisms whilst it is not a problem. Believe her when she says she will not do it again, she may never do it again throughout her life. Here is a good support forum for people that self harm

http://www.nshn.co.uk/

Build up and maintain a good rapport with her, so if she does feel like that again, then she is more likely to come forward. Good luck

Answer 2

1) I'll see what I can find. I've gotten all my info from local guidance and teen crisis lines.

2) I think it makes the inner pain show. It is pain... but it is also one that people can relate to... that people can see. The relief is in that it shows, "There look: That hurts. I hurt." That applies even when the cutting is a secret. At the end of the day it is something kids have control over. Let's face it... until we are adults, we control little in our lives.

3) I wouldn't totally trust her. If she and her parents think therapy is not the way, I'd still recommend making use of the guidance counsellor at school... and be careful. Cutting 'clubs' can form. It is almost contagious sometimes, at least in my experience. Several years back, a student started cutting... her friends followed. If she is part of something that is group-centered... there's charismatic peer influence to consider as well. There's also more investigation that needs be done. This may not just be about her.

The fact that she told on herself is good. But she needs help. I'd make sure she has someone who is trained in working with teens to talk to. If emotions and not knowing how to deal with what's inside is the trigger... then she needs to learn some other ways of dealing with these things.

*hugs*... to all involved. Best wishes.

Answer 3

Hey comets... I've seen this first hand in a good friend many years ago, I cannot tell you alot about the subject except what she told me. She was going through serious emotional issues after being raped as a teen and the blamed for the assault by her parents commenting on how she dressed like a sl*t and brought it upon herself...Now I don't care if a girl likes to wear 'loose' clothing or not at 15, that does not make her a sl*t as her parents dictated...she was simply wearing what she liked and to be shunned like that by your own family and to give the sickened animal that attacked his freedom is not on in my books...hence a few of my friends and I got together and talked it out with her.

She found it easier to use physical pain to block the mental pain out rather than deal with it. She also found more of the pain was coming from her family than from the attack and she could find no closure to what had happened. We also managed to get the name from her and beat this man into hospital as A) he had done this to a friend of ours and at that age we were pretty loyal to friendship and B) if someone didn't do it to him then he may have struck again.
Now don't get me wrong I or my friends were not and still are not violent people but what this guy had done was wrong and she could not find any solace and started to cut herself so something had to be done to bring her some sort of end to the dilemma.

Now I'm not saying that something so bad may have happened to your niece though I have heard in many other cases also that slashing is due to covering up something within your own mind to help cover it up when your mind won't do it for you so it may be worthwhile talking to your niece about anything she has trapped within her mind she may to too scared to talk directly with mum and dad about...

Hope this helps.

Answer 4

I've had two students do this and both of them needed therapy. It's a question about control, just like an eating disorder, when they feel they have to control the pain (emotional pain or distress) they cut themselves to control the real pain, and by seeing the blood they feel a release from those pressures they tend to feel.
The fact that she came clean with it means that she wants help. Don't trust her to do this on her own, of if you decide to do it, keep her under close supervision. Teachers should know about it too.

Answer 5

Yeah, sounds like she got here to you because of the fact she has no one else. in case you went to her mothers and fathers then you definately might maximum probable lose her have confidence, she informed you that she had already tried speaking to her mothers and fathers and that they only 'brushed' her off, so this is a sprint that she doesnt experience her mothers and fathers care and so got here to you particularly, while she comes over for the weekend sit down her down and have a verbal exchange along with her approximately it.. ask her if she might such as you to work out somebody approximately it to help her recover from this.

Answer 6

1.) http://www.focusas.com/SelfInjury.html,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-injury,
http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/self-injury-disorder,
http://www.facetheissue.com/selfinjury.htm, http://www.psyke.org/

2.) The physical pain one gets from cutting themselves is much more tolerable and easier to fix than the emotional pain. It takes a person's mind off of whatever is troubling them. Also, I've heard that cutting releases endorphins into the brain.

3.) I think you should take her to a therapist. I hid it for two years from my parents after I said I'd stop. There is really no way to be sure she's not doing it anymore. Eventually she can find other places to cut that are not so obvious like her stomach or ankles. I suggest getting her help before it spirals out of control. It's better to safe than sorry.

Answer 7

I have found a few websites for you, the first one being a .PDF brochure, which is excellent.

You can't be sure your neice isn't going to continue self-harm. It's caused by a reaction to past emotional pain, whether it's a loss, sexual abuse, traumatic experience, or another sort of distress which was not dealt with.

take care and i hope these articles / websites help

Answer 8

I used to do the same thing and i overcame it.

u ca trust me.because ur getting it from a source that did the same.

websites: http://www.kidshelpphone.ca/en/forums_en/ViewMessage.aspx?MSGID=97024

2) we believe it relieves stress because it bleeds the stress out of our bodies, and releases the devil within us.. u need to understand that if she is doing this, she doesn't care about the ain, she cares about trying to get rid of what's bothering her.

3) and if u don't help her i garentee u she will do it again, cutting yourself is not a fashon statement, it is a way of life, u never fuly get over it, the impulses are always there and u never fully free youself from them but you can help her to push them away. her urges will stay but they can be pushed back.

tell her to draw whatever it is that makes her angry and to burn it. tell her to do it on MANY ocasions, it heps relieve the stress without bleeding it out!!

Answer 9

teens cut them selves because they think its the only way to deal with the stress.....it's not....there are other ways but they dont know....it's almost a fashion too....like the new "emo" style (emo stands for emotional) is all about how sad you are.......they cry over everything and they cut themselves because they think it relieves them.......this could lead to really serious problems like sucidal thoughts....I would put her in therapy wether she likes it or not.

Answer 10

http://www.christiananswers.net/q-eden/cutting.html

Self Harm Hotline

1-800-DONTCUT

Help for "cutters"