After a 5year relationship living with my boyfriend i am totally confused and feeling very down. He won't marry me(has said), isn't happy and wants to move back north to his home. sometimes he contradicts himself by saying the opposite.He won't compromise at all. I found him texting other women dodgy txt stuff a while back and using datelines. I felt betrayed and hurt.He felt justified in what he did and he never really thought anything was wrong with that, its not cheating to him. We have argued and i have ended up being pushed over.He has lashed out twice in frustration, in one i ended up with a burst eardrum as he slapped me across the ear.Although these things are in frustration i feel disappointed with him.I have not been the most trusting of him but i now believe trust is earned in part. A few months ago one of my closest friends commited suicide and it really hit me. He has shown no real interest. If i interrupt the tv/dvd to talk to him he gets annoyed. Whats wrong with him?
2007-10-15 05:25:21 · 4 answers · asked by ellen 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I didn't trust him enough at the start which is partially why he is like this now.I don't enjoy sex with him now as im worried about why he says the things he does. So its avoided which frustrates him but i don't feel 100% comfortable with it as he dosn't talk. He thought nothing of going home to scotland for a week after an argument and ignoring me totally. But a lot of the time he is a kind loving man so i feel great. Our friends find him a nice person- i wish they could see what he says/does sometimes. I am a succesful woman with a career and ambition and i like myself. I don't want to make a huge mistake by leaving him, but im starting to wonder if all men are like this.
2007-10-15 05:49:24 · update #1
Sweetheart you seem to have a very low opinion of yourself. Maybe because your man is very controlling and manipulative.
Don't worry about him (although i realise its hard for you) worry about yourself.
Have you got family and friends who can give you support?
I am seriously concerned about you. If you click on my avatar you can e mail me. Please do. I was subdued and abused by a man I loved; hope you can recognise this in the man you are with.
I promise to give you all the support and help that I can.
2007-10-15 05:42:24 · answer #1 · answered by Ilkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure why you should be in the relationship, its not healthy and you need to move on with your life, there is no excuse for a man to hit a woman, he is already cheating on you and your going to sit there and accept it?
No wonder you feel down, you know morally this isn't right but you continue to be in denial and that is taking your strength.
Change your feelings get mad and use that strength to leave him instead of playing victim here. I have no pity for you. You are clearly doing this to yourself.
2007-10-15 05:37:48 · answer #2 · answered by krennao 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More interesting? What's wrong with you? The man is emotionally unavailable, verbally and physically abusive, and doesn't have the same life goals as you. Kick is butt to the curb and get some help dealing with your friend's death. No matter how badly you might feel about yourself, you don't deserve to be treated like that.
2007-10-15 05:30:12 · answer #3 · answered by Jody 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he doesn't really love you or care about you but he's staying because its comfortable. he also sounds like he's becoming abusive both physically and emothionally and you need to put a stop to that RIGHT NOW he is only going to get worse. i know it is hard to leave I KNOW. but in your situation it seems like you have to. you deserve better, you need a man who respects you enough not to do those shady things and especially not hit you. its gonna hurt like hell and be really hard but you HAVE TO LEAVE just end it let it go and move on for yourself.
2007-10-15 05:32:50 · answer #4 · answered by Andria W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋