My husband and I recently got full custody of my stepdaughter. She absolutely adores my mom, and calls her meemaw. She used to adore my stepfather, but now she is petrified of him. When we go to my mom's for Sunday dinner, she screams and cries, and refuses to go inside the house. I have no clue as to what has happened, and it's beginning to frighten me.
My mom and her husband just recently got back together, they had been separated for some time, and they are now trying to work out their differences. I'm not fond of him myself, never have been, and I'm worried he's done something to my stepdaughter. What should I do?
2007-10-15 04:54:13 · 13 answers · asked by chasityhornbeck07 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You need to first and for most talk with your step daughter and see what and why things are bothering her. maybe her other "step parent or other parents partner" had done somthing to her. not physically but maybe emotionally or something and she takes it out on your step dad. Also he could have done somthing to her. But children some times are irrational and could have made a little situation in to a huge one or hasnt quite figured out what really happend, and is not expressing herself in the best of ways...
Talk to her and explian that yall love her, and want to help her, and that is why yall need to know whats going on. And that no one is going to hurt her or anything like that, but she really needs to talk to you about him, or what ever is bothering her. so that yall can make things better...
Also talk with your step dad. after talking with your step daughter, and find out his side of the story.. if she said that he scared her, find out what way, maybe he jumped out of shadows or somthing, or maybe somthing worse, and if so... Work on what you have... if she says that he touched her in a bad way, then you need to find out what exactly happend and then confront him about it...BEST OF LUCK And hope its something very easy to work out ....
2007-10-15 05:27:58 · answer #1 · answered by Just Wondering 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe something happened to her while she was there with your step dad. You need to sit her down and ask her while she is terrified of being around your stepfather and ask him if anything went on. Were the two of them ever alone together? Sometimes kids freak out when they have been molested or abused. I'm not saying that's what he's done but you need to look into that possiblity.
2007-10-15 05:23:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remind the toddlers that privates are noted as privates through fact they are private! Do those toddlers pass to a daycare?? Ask the toddlers in the event that they discovered this from everyone else (and who). I used to think of that a challenge like this could purely be the end results of a baby having been abused. yet that all and sundry replaced while my 18 month old got here upon her own nipples and consistently pinched them! it relatively is even in her toddler Halloween photograph! She is a topless toddler mermaid and there she is -- pinching herself!! Her destiny hubby will LOVE this one! Hahahaha attempt to no longer hardship, mom...yet do save your eyes and ears open.
2016-11-08 09:33:32 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your stepfather. If you catch him off guard he'll probably tell you the truth if something bad is going on - this may be serious but there also may be a childlike reason for it if you understand that.
2007-10-15 10:28:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to find out what's going on. You might need the help of a child psychologist, since 4 year old's don't communicate very well. Ask your pediatrician for referral.
2007-10-15 06:27:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't want to alarm you but I would take her to the doctor and make sure she wasn't sexually or mentally abused.
You could even have a counselor try to talk to her. 4 is a little young to talk about stuff but its for the safety of your child.
I wouldn't take her around him for quite some time.
2007-10-15 06:20:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your gut. Fear is a learned response. It doesn't come out of nowhere. If you are not comfortable talking with your step daughter or would just like help doing so, consult a professional. But do NOT ignore her reaction and above all, do not force her to see him.
2007-10-15 05:03:01 · answer #7 · answered by jurydoc 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Try asking her open ended questions about him. Ask her why she is afraid... don't specifically asked her if he touched her in her "no-no" spot or what ever your family decides to call genitals, etc. It could be something fairly harmless or he could have molested her or abused her some in some way.
2007-10-15 05:08:32 · answer #8 · answered by Holy Macaroni! 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
At this age, she's old enough to tell you why she's afraid. Ask her. Assure her that she did nothing wrong, you just want to make her feel better about it. Small children don't go from liking someone to being completely afraid of them for no reason.
2007-10-15 04:59:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
well, have you asked her why she doesn't like him?you can tell her that nobody is allowed to touch her in her girlie parts and if someone does then she needs to tell you and that you won't be mad at her,tell her it's not her fault and that you need to know to fix it.and tell her it's not good to touch other peoples private parts and that you need to know that too..explain to her whatever is wrong is not her fault.good luck
2007-10-15 05:01:17 · answer #10 · answered by momto3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋