he was hoping for a boy, but we found out we're having a girl. he doesn't think he'll be able to play with her or do any activities with her, since she's a girl (he's very good playing rough & tumble games with my friends' boys).
does anyone have any suggestions on what i could tell him to ease his mind? I'm certain that he'll be a great dad, but he's so anxious now! (he's not disappointed or anything, just worried about his role)
thanks!
2007-10-15 04:04:16 · 27 answers · asked by Ember Halo 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
oh, he's already very protective!!
he's worried he's going to go crazy with worry, too, since it's a girl.
2007-10-15 04:09:11 · update #1
he's just used to playing with boys, he's never been around little girls before. he's intimidated i think. he's totally happy she's healthy & he talks to her (my bump), but he's just worried that he won't be a good dad to a little girl, not that he doesn't WANT to be. he already loves her.
2007-10-15 04:19:08 · update #2
geez, Mimi, you seem to think you know the situation, but you don't.
he actually hasn't "whined" a bit, just expressed concern over what activities to do with a girl when she's older. i would have some similar concerns if it were a boy, i don't always play so well with my friends' boys, i don't get their shooting games & whatnot. it does not mean that i would love a boy any less. i think it's perfectly normal, since the anxiety about whether the baby is healthy has been alleviated, now we worry about how we will interact with the child once it's here.
i think you're being a bit judgemental in your blanket assessment of my husband. he's a really great guy & hasn't expressed one bit of disappointment with the fact that we're having a girl. just anxiety.
how is that so immature???
2007-10-15 05:02:15 · update #3
pinkpiglet--i think that's EXACTLY what he's thinking!! & i'm sure he'll be great once she's here.
2007-10-15 10:08:35 · update #4
I'm really surprised at some of these answers. When you don't grow up with girls (or boys) it's harder to know what will happen when you are a parent.
Take me for example, I grew up with boys. I may be a girl but I grew up with 4 brothers and 12 male cousins. I played with boys and made friends with boys a whole lot easier then girls. It's just what I knew.
I didn't play Barbies or dolls, I rode my bike down the hill, lit ants on fire with magnifying glasses and jumped off garage roofs - until I put a rusty nail through my foot.
My first kid was a boy and I was happy. I knew boys. Then I had a girl. ACK What on earth was I going to do with a girl?? I didn't "do" hair, I didn't play dollies, I didn't have tea parties. I was lost.
I know have 2 girls that are 11 & 9 and they are a whole lot more "girlish" then I am. However, I've learned to do their hair and have tea parties with them when they were little. I love my girls and wouldn't trade them for anything.
All that to say, I know just how your husband feels. Let him know it'll be okay. He'll learn to do some of the things they like and they'll learn to do the things he likes. The main thing is to BE INVOLVED. The little one isn't going to care what Daddy does with her, just that he does it.
Congrats by the way. :)
2007-10-15 09:42:44 · answer #1 · answered by pinkpiglet126 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think what he's feeling is normal.
My hubby is a little disappointed that we aren't having a girl this time (but during my 1st pregnancy, he had his heart set on a boy). I actually didn't have a preference but the thought of having a girl, for my hubby's sake, did appeal to me. Only b/c I am a major daddy's girl and I was hoping he would have that bond w/ a daughter.
I grew up w/ 2 brothers and my parents, especially my dad, never treated me any different than my brothers. I can be a bit of a tomboy but there's nothing wrong w/ that. Just reassure him that he will be able to play (even rough) with her and he can do anything that he would do if she was a boy.
Someone had mentioned giving him a pink baseball glove, I think that's a GREAT idea!!
Oh, BTW..... my dad literally cried when he found out I was a girl (he wanted a boy so bad). THEN, when my mom was pregnant w/ my brothers, he wanted more girls, LOL.
2007-10-15 07:18:59 · answer #2 · answered by Nina Lee 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has blocked you from viewing his myspace page ask him to give you the password. Tell him you are worried and just want to check it too make sure things are cool and that afterwards you won't worry. If he refuses to do it or says "I'll show you tomorrow" you've got trouble. It's pretty obvious though that he is cheating on you. Too many coincidences to be anything else. Get his last cell phone bill and see who he has been calling. You can go online and do a reverse phone number look-up and get most numbers, even if it doesn't show the name of the person because it's a cell phone, you just pay a minimal fee to find out. He may not necessarily be dating this particular girl. It may be someone else he's met on myspace. I'm really sorry to hear about that, as I know how dad-gum aggravating it can be to think you know, but not know for sure what's going on with your spouse. Call his cell phone and ask him if one of the friends that called looking for him is with him. Don't say that the guy called you, just say, "Is ____ there?"and see if he lies and says yeah.
2016-03-12 23:24:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps point out how many "daddy's girls" are out there and that he will be the biggest influence on how she develops feelings about men.
Also - just maybe this little bundle of joy will teach him to be a better person for it (not that he isn’t, I don't know him obviously). He may gain MORE fathering a girl, emotionally and through self-evaluation, than fathering a boy he can identify with right away.
He has a big role and being a good dad is very important for little girls. I also agree above, he can still roughhouse a little, no harm with that!
2007-10-15 05:06:17 · answer #4 · answered by kub2 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
We had a girl first also, and my hubby was kinda worried about that kind of stuff too..a lot more about bathing her and such, lol
Tell him, just because she is a girl doesn't mean he cant play rough and tumble games with her. (As long as its OK with mommy?) My husband and daughter (who is now 2) play ALL the time.. mostly those kind of games.. throwing in the air, spinning around, running around the house, jumping and she absolutely has a blast with him! Just because it's a girl doesn't mean they cant do some of the same things as boys do ;) She can play dress-up or cook with mommy and get chased by the monster daddy! At least that's what we do with our daughter and she has a great time ;) Hope this helps and good luck!
2007-10-15 04:12:10 · answer #5 · answered by justplainsweet83 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
my husband was very worried when we found out our second baby was a girl. he was excited when our first was a boy and now that he's 4 they have their own fun with video games and horsing around and what-not. my daughter is 13 months and there is no doubt in my mind she is a daddy's girl. he is very protective over her and more then my son. your husband will be fine and realize that all children can do the same things. my daughter is now running around and when her brother picks on her she is right there sticking up for herself. she is gonna be a tough girl when she gets bigger. girls and boys both like to horse around and play hard from time to time, i know i did when i was younger. as soon as your husband gets the chance to see how much fun they can be he will understand too. my husband also was never around any girls or babies so its easier that they are both getting bigger. he always jokes around when that first b/f comes around he is gonna be 'cleaning his shotgun'. lol. but seriously, he'll be ok, he's just nervous. CONGRATS!!
2007-10-15 05:15:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
My husband did the same thing but when your baby's born ...... she will be daddys angel. Theres a reason for the saying Daddy's little girl. My daughter is now 15 and Daddy had no problems playing girl and boy activities. They both rough house around all the time.
2007-10-15 05:51:09 · answer #7 · answered by Khelie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can tell the guy . I have 4 boys and 1 girl . Thank God just one girl . If you was a guy you could understand but your not and you will never understand just as guys will never understand woman . That doesn't mean we don't love you all to death don't take me wrong we just have a totally different way of thinking . I have to treat my daughter differently then i do my boys because she thinks differently
2007-10-15 04:19:48 · answer #8 · answered by dad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think once the girl is born he'll feel what most dad's feel when they see their daughters for the first time. The need to love and protect their little girls. Right now he can't see that because she's not in his arms. Of course he'll have to be more delicate with her. But girls will play with their dad's also . It's not like she'll choose the barbies over daddy all the time. I was VERY close with my dad when I was young. We'd play, I know I roughhoused with him, hah. But...he'll ease up once she's born. He'll love her just the same. It's normal of him to think of it that way.
2007-10-15 04:07:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
My husband said the same thing
The moment he held her in his arms, she was Daddy's little girl. Girl are different then boys. Boys are different than girls. Little girls steal their father hearts. He may or may not be able to play rough with a girl, some girls are turf
2007-10-15 04:11:21 · answer #10 · answered by Halo Mom 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋