feel miserable in group working?

Question

I feel people hate me or don`t want to work with me?
I don`t know however i try to be flexible and respectfull to to others opinion in a team work, however try to be positive and effective but at the end seems i am the lonlinest person in the group.
but some of my close friends tell me you look at people smile in a way that you are mocking them however it is not your purpose.

How would that possible to work in a place that everybody seems rejecting you?
Imagine you enter in a place and everybody pretend you are invisible what do feel? How you should break this?

Answer 1

Bless your heart, I'm so sorry you are experiencing such tough feelings. Understand, dear one, that 'feelings are neither right or wrong, they just are.' Something is causing you to feel 'invisible'. It is the 'something' that you want to attack, not yourself or anybody else.
I fear the one who told you about your smile, is speaking only for herself/himself. It's that person's insecurity about you. I think you are being yourself. In fact, I think you are selling yourself 'short'..... for in a group, seldom are we so fortunate to have a 'team member' that is flexible and respectful all the same time! Your loneliness, I fear, doesn't just come from the group work, I think perhaps that you are 'feeding' yourself thoughts that just really aren't happening. Why don't you pare off with one of the people in the group and go have a coke or pizza, and just talk. Don't bring up your feelings of isolation, just talk about the project, the people in it, etc. See how the talk goes.... Keep it positive, even if the other person says something negative.
Just ask questions and let the other person talk. I think you need some 'one on one' with different people so you can see that they're just like you. You know, dear one, people can only 'get in' as far as we let them. I don't know how long you've been feeling like this, but the very fact that you walk into the room feelin 'invisible' puts a wall up of sorts. People react to it and body language. I don't think there is anything 'false' about you or that you are looking down your nose at anybody (mocking), I think that was a very unjustified statement. Why is it that people always try to put the blame on the one feeling victimized? Throw that statement away!!! it simply doesn't apply! When people start assigning jobs in the group, and they come to you, ask them what they would like for you to do. If they say, 'could you do this?' Say, "Sure! What's the deadline?" Then get the facts from those who are talking about it. Interact. Offer suggestions. Ask if anyone else is interested in what you're doing and invite them to help. But try to get in a 'one on one' situation so you can make friends. Ok! Blessings.

Answer 2

First of all I think you are taking things too personal and feel the need for exceptance. I think you maybe suffering from social anxity and have already made up your mind how people think of you before you have given them a chance.

1. Connect
2. eye contact
3. effective communication. ( talk to someone and let them know you are actively listening)
4. Try to pay attention to your own body language you may be giving off a vibe that makes you look unaprochable.

If everyone is pretending you are invisible then you may need to stand out. You say you do not know how to be flexible and respectfull to others opinions in team work....that is not effective communication and what if someone was not flexible and respectful of your opinions.......how would you respond.

Answer 3

I feel yah!
i'm introvert tho I perfer to be ignored unless i'm doing public speaking then please focus on me! thank you!


look at yourself in the miirre see how you smile if your friends notice something then maybe when your not in your comfort zone you may come off indifferent.

As hard as it is and as much asy ou may hear it don't worry about what they think! just filter out anything that may hurt someone if someone even you gets laught at for a remark guess what your part of the group!

it's really hard to brush stuff off like that but if you detatch it helps! try not looking at yourself as a human being alone in the group (hard) but try looking at the group with you in it!
so close your eyes!
relax
now see yourself with the group
see what is going on at this moment and pretent your mental mind is up in the corner watching! your not taking your feelings into condieration at this point your just watching! your mind is watching you work!

Make sure everyone has the goal and odn't be afaid to ask!
What is the point of this meeting? What are we expecting to gain from this group? Can i have an itenerary list of what is going to discussed today? just stay professional and track of what should be discussed! and don't be scared to toss out stuppid idea's those tend to be the best!!

Answer 4

Frankly, I have been working 13 years in a place where I do not "socialize." Why? Cuz I'm there to WORK. Not that I am uncivil to them, albeit I have been harassed by others there, who are too immature to realize that school-yard bullying has no place in the workplace.

Anyhow, if you have close friends who are willing to be "brutally" honest with you, please go back to them and ask them that you need their help with this. As for your smiling problem, bring along a mirror so, when you smile "that" smile, you can actually see how others see you. Then ask your friends to help give you a "good" smile, and practice, practice, practice!!

Good luck! Have a polite day.

Answer 5

nili,may i ask how old r u ?/
simply, ur friends say that u might give bad looks to ur colleagues in work and that is because how u explained ur marriage b4, its not on purpose its just ur face is accidentally stressed and in tension cos in u r so confused and trying to find a solution , u r trying to understand urself, how to improve, how to accept things and how to at least love the life u got.
so try this idea ok ? what about whenever u feel that people around u try to open ur eyes little wider , draw a smile on ur face ( do that smile also while u drive to work , listening to relaxing music ok ?? ) just for ur sake ok ? try 2 love ur work and even force urself to smile even if u dont want to, just to have a place to feel good at and then u can look for ur home problems COOL ? lol
i would love to help btw ( u and ur husband if u would let me )
good luck and breath and calm down. it will be ok dont worry.

Answer 6

Yes, it happens whether we like it or not. I feel that way too, especially when I'm grouped with people I'm not too familiar with.

I think it's important to just get the task done. If you focus on the task you'd probably lose track of time. You can also try to get closer to your team mates, spend some bonding time getting to know each one of them. Just try to get closer, be assertive, and do your best in each task, then I'm sure they'll respect you for who you are.

Answer 7

Have patience and you will get used to it sooner than you can imagine!

Answer 8

appear / act / think more confident and it will show in your demeanor
they in turn will treat you with more respect