Does anyone have any encouraging stories about someone who changed for the better?

Question

R&S, I know this isn't exactly a religious question but I wanted to ask my friends in this section. There is someone in my life who I want to believe can change and improve himself. However I have been told by many people (most of them older, wiser, and more credible than I) that people generally don't change, at least not permanently.

I'd like to hear some encouraging words about people who really were able to make a positive change in their life.

I'm not looking for "they found God" stories, by the way. :oP That to me is not necessarily an improvment.

Thanks!

Answer 1

I was a homeless drug addict. That's no secret in this forum, so I have no problem saying it bluntly.

Twenty-three years ago I decided that there had to be more to life than being stoned, filthy, hungry, tired, and alone. I stopped drinking and using drugs, went to school, got a job, and raised a family. As a single parent, I might add.

My oldest boy is successfully employed by the city of Pittsburgh as an EMT, and my two youngest receive excellent grades, with my 12 year-old on the Principal's list for his entire school career.

Both of the younger ones plan to attend college. My 15-year old was accepted as an exchange student to Italy next year, and my youngest aspires to attend an Ivy-League university. I don't mean to sound like a braggart, but I think that, with all things considered, I really have changed for the better, and I've been able to help my kids be their best through the trials which I survived and conquered.

People can and do change, but they have to want this or it won't happen otherwise.

Answer 2

I totally agree with these "older and wiser" friends who are telling you that people don't change. Most people do at some point in their life, for better or for worse, a big change or a little change. It just happens. The thing is, you can't make it happen. There is absolutely nothing you can do on your own to make someone change if that person does not want to.

Answer 3

People can change, and people do change. It is just a lot of really hard work, being honest with yourself, and being willing to do whatever it takes to get better and be better than you are. I have a dear friend who was wild from day one. Drank so much he almost died of alcohol poisoning a few times. Worked hard and played hard. He moved to Texas, decided he had always tried to live up to his daddy's expectations and knew if he didn't change he was going to die young. He switched careers completely to something that is less money (he's an EMT) his children and grandchildren and wife are insane about him, and he has never been happier. Yes, people can change!

Answer 4

Drastic changes are very hard. Getting someone to help around the house more is one thing, but getting someone to change thier way of life is difficult and sometime impossible. The main key to the equation is simple: Do they seriously want to change? If the answer is yes, then it is possible. If the answer is not a 100% yes, then it may never happen.

Answer 5

Actually most people I know have changed for the better - mostly through growing up though,not god stories or similar. Some are still very similar but most people will grow wiser with age.

Answer 6

Change only comes from within. If you are asking someone to change, or if they saying they will change as a result of an ultimatum or something similar, then that is an outside influence which will not stick.

Apply this idea to yourself. Have you ever changed because someone tried to make you change? It doesn't work - the person has to come to that place on their own, not by force, influence, or persuasion.

Answer 7

I guess God is older and wiser than you and this is what He says

Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil.

Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean? not one.

Who can say, I have made my heart clean, I am pure from my sin?


Only God can change the person.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Answer 8

"people never change" , "your belief should be kept to yourselves"

These kind of sayings are from the unbeliever, we should look in the word of God if we want any wisdom that has merit. All wisdom comes from God, so we should test everything.

The whole idea of being born-again, or regenerated is you become a "new person". I have seen young and old do a 180 who are followers of Christ.

I myself was someone who would go out drinking all weekend, but then I changed when I became born again. I do not drink EVER, not even a drop.

I know other people watch what us adults do, if we smoke or drink you are setting the example for kids and those around us.

Do you just focus on your change? Or the change of others around you? What about your example?

When you choose God, it is always positive. You will never go wrong.

Answer 9

Yes, I had a son who worried me like crazy, he was always getting into scrapes, nothing serious mostly stupid stuff. He often got into fights and always seemed to come off worst. He was incredibly reckless and took stupid risks. He never held a job down and was always asking me for money and just could not seem to settle to anything. About 18 months ago I noticed subtle changes which grew and grew, he seemed to have grown up, he found himself a decent place to live and a job he liked; he sorted out his financial messes and started to be more sensible and just seemed, for the first time in a long time to be happy. In March this year he anounced he wanted to set up his own business and asked my husband for lots of advice. I couldn't believe it, my flighty son, getting serious about life. Why he changed I don't know, I don't think it was any great epiphany, just maturity; sadly I will never know why because just weeks after deciding about being his own boss he had another brief moment of recklessness and was killed whilst off road biking. Accept your friend for who they are, you never know how long you will have them.

Answer 10

Change can happen. Encouragement DOES help BUT change comes from within. When it comes to permanent positive change I have a simple motto:

"You gotta wanna"