me and my fiancee have been togther for 4 years now we got engaged quite quick after about a year
we have been planing on getting married every year for the last 3 years and keep having to change it for someone in my family
now we ve decided on a date 4th oct 2009
my brother would have finished school so would have been the best time as we want to get married in florida
but at my sisters 21st birthday i was talking to my parents and my step dad said that was not a good date as my bro would have started collage an my sis would have started teaching and he may be working abroad
so i dont know what to do i am fed up of pleasing everyone ive done that all my life so now i want to get married weather they are there or not
if they did nt come i would be really upset
do you think i would be silly if i cut all ties with them and basically did nt talk to them again start married life as my own family and wait for them to apoagise to me ?
2007-10-15 01:32:47 · 30 answers · asked by kris_ingram45 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You and your fiance need to set the date that YOU WANT, not the family. Yes its nice that you consider everyone schedule, but in the end, you can't please everyone. If you try that, you will never get married.
So, go ahead, set a date and let people know. If they can't make time for your wedding, then they don't need to be part of your life.
2007-10-15 01:37:52 · answer #1 · answered by chris91068 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Whew! I have been given under pressure because of utilising analyzing all that. i can't even think of what it may desire to be like for you adult adult males. Weddings are this form of loopy time and it relatively is extremely straightforward for kinfolk to get caught up in each and every thing and overlook approximately you. I propose sitting your fiance down and having a heart-to-heart. circulate returned to the basics. communicate with regard to the form you have been the two happier once you knew what your plans have been and you have been compromising properly. I propose forgetting the kinfolk for now. they're being ridiculous, obsessive, manipulative, juvenile and controlling. communicate on your fiance, make some minors plans, discover that pal who's an officiant and have your guy or woman private ceremony (close buddies and lifelike kinfolk in common terms) i know how perplexing that's yet tell your respective families you adore them yet you could no longer stand what they have made up of the marriage and the initiate on your life so as that they are in a position to come again to the marriage you have planned, sit down quietly, say each and all of the superb issues and smile or they are in a position to take a seat at abode understanding that's your life and you reside it your way. likelihood is, your loved ones will see how stupid they have been and mellow out some. you additionally can elope. circulate to Lake Tahoe (it relatively is alluring) locate somebody to marry you by utilising a alluring lake and then spend the week shacked up in a cabin interior the woods. good success! I desire you the superb.
2016-10-06 23:21:48 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, do what makes you and your Fiance happy. Quit trying to please everyone else. The ones that really matter will show up when and where ever you decide to have your wedding. Those that dont then that is there loss.
I get comments all the time about what i should and shouldnt do. but you know what i ignore it all. In my case my FI and i are paying for everything and well no one has any say so but him and i. And if you have someone contributing and helping out financialy, they should respect your wishes.
Your wedding planning is not supposed to be a nightmare. You are supposed to enjoy every minute of it. Because before you know it, its over.
I wish you and your Fiance the best of luck! And Congrats!
oh and by the way, Oct 4th is a great date... Thats my date for 2008! So we would be wedding date twins!! Go US!
2007-10-15 01:46:14 · answer #3 · answered by Gotta luv it! 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Your parents are being unreasonable. Set a date and tell everyone, including your brother and sister, what it is. People make arrangements all the time to be at the wedding of someone in their family.
On a side note, talk with your siblings and find out if this is really their issue or one your parents are seeing. Tell them how much it means for you to have them there and ask their views. If they honestly see some problem, perhaps you could have a summer wedding where they won't be in school.
Good luck!
2007-10-15 04:45:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you need to be as drastic as anything you suggest at the end. You simply do what everyone else does and say we are marrying Saturday, October 9. If they really want to be there, they will. What, you need to wait for your brother to graduate college now? Then what? While you're waiting for the absolute perfect moment, your life is passing you by. Anyone is college can come home for a weekend to attend a wedding. Your sis may not make it if she's living abroad, but that really shouldn't cause you to write her off or postpone your wedding. Just proceed with your wedding as you wish.
In our beginning stages of planning, every time we'd mention something of our plans, people acted like it was up for discussion--it wasn't. I had to tell people over and over we were happy with our plans, etc, and we have now stopped getting"advice" from everyone. Don't allow your family to continually cause you to delay the rest of your life. What makes their schedules so much more important than yours?
2007-10-15 01:43:08 · answer #5 · answered by melouofs 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Why are you being so accomodating to your family?! This is about you and your fiancee, not about your parents and throwing a party. I think that you just need to elope. Elope and then have a big reception bash whenever everyone can be there (if that's what is important to you). Don't let other people's schedules interfere with the wedding date.
And if I were your fiancee, I'd be getting pissed that you were allowing your family to come first. Make your girl happy and elope. Show her that you are committed to her first and your family second.
2007-10-15 04:54:20 · answer #6 · answered by theewokprincess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to plan your wedding around your siblings school and work schedule. This is your day. Cutting off ties seem a bit extreme, so I would just set a final date and whoever can come will show up. The wedding can always be taped for those who can't come, but to get all upset over a date seems sort of pety when there's so many other things that need to be done.
2007-10-15 01:39:21 · answer #7 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 7⤊ 1⤋
"so i dont know what to do i am fed up of pleasing everyone ive done that all my life so now i want to get married weather they are there or not" HEY! I think you have answered your own question here. Set a date, invite the appropriate number of people (who will make a way to come if they want to), make your plans, and carry through with it. You are not marrying the family. Marriage is difficult enough without trying to please everyone else. Talk to your intended, make plans, and get married (and live happily ever after). Good luck.
2007-10-15 01:52:46 · answer #8 · answered by Doug R 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think you really need to set the date around you and your fiance... you've really waited quite long enough and are even willing to wait even longer until 2009. I postponed my wedding ONCE and that was because my husband was going to be deployed... well come to find out, he didnt end up deployed, my dad did (so it still worked out) and since my dad was overseas, he had no choice to come back to be at the wedding.
I honestly think you should stand your ground and do the planning for the date you've set. Just because your siblings will have work or school, they can try and take off for a couple days... or they may just have to have that weekend off... people can work around things. I had a destination wedding and everyone I needed to be there ended up there... either they took off work or school or just came in to town that Saturday and left that Sunday. All of my bridesmaids were even in college... some of them knew in advance and chose to not schedule classes on Fridays (or just schedule them really early) so they knew they could be there Friday, or they told their professor waaaay in advance so they could work things out. My dad was even across country for the military but flew in over the weekend.
You cant work around them forever... heck, it may be your parents getting cold feet about the wedding.
I'd say to just talk to them and tell them that is the date that you and your fiance really want... and you are giving them plenty of notice so they can make sure they are there. Explain that its important to you for them to be there, but its also important for you to not keep postponing the wedding. As it seems to me, if you keep postponing it due to them, you'll never end up married!
Good luck and congrats!
2007-10-15 03:29:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
So you have been engaged for 3 years and each year you plan on getting married other family things get in the way. Now you set the date for 2 years in the future? It sounds like you two aren't sure what you want to do and it's easier to blame it on family.
2007-10-15 01:44:15 · answer #10 · answered by hoppykit 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋