how can get this of all this anger?

Question

in my past relationship,i made a fool of myself...that person who id known for such a long time,was just using me.he was really in love with the girl he was cheating on me with,and id know his family practically forever and one of his sisters were my closest friends (we'd call each other sisters) but they all new he was cheating on me and one even new the other girl and double dated with them...sadly that was the one that i had the closest connection too....its been almost a yr now and i feel way better...but sometimes i still feel angry..more at my ex's sister than anyone really,and also at myself for acting so stupid and desperate..i wish i could forgive myself..but i dont think i ever will

i know that her place was with her brother ( even though he stole from her,told her boyfriend that she was a whore) but its the fact that they double dated she betreyed me in that sense

Answer 1

I totally understand your anger with the guy and the sister. However, though you and the sister were really close...her loyalty is still with her brother and it should be. She probably just didn't want to get into the middle of the situation. Ideally, she should have told you but technically she had no place to do so. Keep moving on like you are.

Answer 2

Anger is generally a secondary emotion, if you look at it closely you are probably feeling pain/hurt by the betrayal you suffered.
You have no reason to feel like a fool. Those people around you were being deceitful and hurtful, they should be begging your forgiveness. They did wrong, not you!
You were acting in good faith while the bf was being faithless. Give yourself a pat on the back for being the better person.
Look at this as a lesson in life. You now know what it feels like, the pain involved, when someone cheats on you. With that knowledge I am going to assume you would never do that to another individual.
I could forgive the sister not saying anything, after all it is her brother. The part I would find difficult to forgive is the fact that she double dated with him, there is the betrayal. Had she any sense of morals or ethics the least she could have done was not be a party to his cheating and this she did not do. Not a very trustworthy friend.
I truly hope this experience hasn't made you wary of all guys. There are lots of decent ones out there who will treat you right. They are not all cheaters, don't shut down your heart because of one bad experience. And please stop beating yourself up. You are good person here give yourself some credit.

Answer 3

Anger is a normal emotion. But it is just an emotion. You need to finish the grieving process over your loss and let yourself off the hook. Do no punish yourself for trusting an untrustworthy person. You were the victim not the perpetrator of evil. What he and others did was evil.

We all must live and learn. Forgive yourself. So what if a part of you wanted to be loved so much that you did not think straight. It happens. Just learn to maintain a good balance between your heart and you mind. Do not let one overpower the other; both are important. However, if they conflict, the more trustworthy is your mind.

.

Answer 4

That is the key word right there "I don't think I ever will" If you want to get over the hurt and the anger you must want to get over the hurt and anger. You must believe you can by saying you can. Negative words will keep you angry. Try saying I can forgive and I can move on. I can let go and learn from this. You can let the feeling go. It would be more healthier for you to let them go now. If you let it build up it can explode on your next relationship with some one. You must also forgive her. Holding a grudge wont help your healing process. You most think more positive about this. If he could cheat on you with your ex friend then he could cheat on any one. It better to learn who will love you and wont before you make a big mistake. So just think to your self I forgive myself and I for her. But you shouldn't feel the need to forgive your self. It isn't your fault. but you know you need to forgive to heal. So forgive her and for give him and think it over and over again every day. You can let go of the anger once you say to your self over and over again. I forgive them I am not angry any more. Try it for a month commit to saying that every day all day long. See how in you feel in a month or two.let me know how it works for you.

Answer 5

That's a hard one? But on both sides the cheater will get his in return so find comfort in that. Yet the girl you were so close to was also in a bind that's her family, but if it was as close as you say it was then ask her why? ask her to explain how she could not tell you ? Only if you need the answers to let it go or start back a closeness with her? I would let things go only because there is better out there for you it may be hard take things slow,look out for you!

Answer 6

find a new relationship .. just move on. Put the memory behind you it's not like everyones like that, you just ran into the wrong people at the wrong time. Everyone suffers eventually during their lifetime, but there is always a goodside to life and yours is turning there. Good luck!

In another year you'll be goodand well on your way of permently riding that ugly memory.
Bestrong.
I'llpray for you.

Answer 7

omg im soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

sorry i fel sooooooooo bad !!!
Just feel good about urself at least ur not dating the **** up any more !!!!!
Sorry anywys. though going through a break up like that is hard I know !!!!!

Im here if ya want to tlk !!!!

April : )

Answer 8

Try to think good things.hang with your friends(except on the person who you feel angry) I think your anger will gone slowly. hope like my answer, Bye and haxe a nice day!!!

Answer 9

Call ur old bf and ask y he did it and tryt going to a thereapist they can always help r a spa

Answer 10

Time cures all ills. Refocus your life and time will dispell your anger.