My 4 yr old son attends his nursery 5 afternoons a week, he spends every morning with me and the weekends, I am a single mother. For about 6 months now he has been coming home and demanding that we call him by another childs name and that we all adopt the names of the minders at the nursery when i refuse it leads to tantrums. It is driving me nuts being called Maxine and having to call my son Callum which is not his name! Is this obsesive behaviour and how can I stop it!?
2007-10-15 00:47:53 · 20 answers · asked by Mistress Mitka 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
My son does this, recently I was called Pebbles (after a rabbit we know) and he wanted me to call him Ash. Then it just goes away after a few days. I have always thought it was just an extension of 'role playing'. So I just play along and he forgets who he was supposed to be or moves on. I don't think its anything to worry about too much.
Tantrums though are not good at that age. If you can stay calm that helps (difficult I know when you're on your own a lot), and just do the usual time out or tell him you will take away a favourite toy for a day if he doesn't behave in a more grown up way.
2007-10-15 01:59:30 · answer #1 · answered by Em 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a normal teacher to me. The behaviors you listed are things that the teacher HAS to notify you about do to the fact that they are unacceptable in a school environment and that's something you need to work on with the teacher, yourself, and your son. Obviously taking some toys away isn't help the situation. I volunteer in a classroom and I have seen my fair share of trouble makers and that seems to be what your child is doing. He could be acting out for attention. A lot of children get this way when they are starting out in school. It takes both the teacher and parent to set things right and it's the teacher's job to report what the child does, no matter what "number on the scale" it's on. Just like it's important for the teacher to notify a parent if they have any speculation of special needs or hearing loss. It's something a teacher must keep an eye on. And lastly on this subject, when a child is a trouble maker a teacher tends to pay more attention to them than any other student. If your child is throwing sand or toys that's rather important. There's a chance he could accidentally hit another student with a toy or even get sand in someones eye. You may not see it as important, but when it comes to a child's behavior it is VERY important. Second. reading and writing is something a student should know by the first grade, which is why there is homework every night to help them learn both. There is nothing wrong with that, besides it's not just your child who has to do this homework.
2016-05-22 17:00:19 · answer #2 · answered by antoinette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's quite normal for children between the ages of 2 and six to transfer to others like this. He will soon outgrow this phase of childhood and become whoever he really is.
He does not need to be spanked or told off for it.
If it persists beyond "reasonable" then I would sit him down and have a chat. You may find that there is some reason he wishes to be Callum and for you to be Maxine. Actually it may not be a bad thing to do now or perhaps go to Nursery with him and meet with Maxine about it.
2007-10-15 01:00:09 · answer #3 · answered by Caleb F 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's pretty normal but as with any dominant behavior you need to take the lead now and stop doing it. Explain to him properly that you will not play that game any more and you will call him by his proper name and you buy yours. He will have several tantrums but it will come to an end. One trick though is to make sure that any nice treats - biscuits, new toys, etc. are only for a boy who's mummy is called (your name) or a boy who is called (his name). He only gets them when he is him! Don't worry though he will soon grow out of it. My little one currently has 2 ten year old siblings called Ci Ci and Pan Pan who he plays football with - lord knows where than has come from!
2007-10-15 07:37:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really understand. You are asking how to stop something which you have total control over. Just don't call him by the name Callum and don't answer to the name Maxine. When he throws a tantrum either hit him or put him in a room and ignore him until he stops. I don't understand why you are doing things that you don't want to do. It's your house not his.
2007-10-15 01:02:20 · answer #5 · answered by SR13 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say this is normal behaviour, simillar to when kids role play and change their name. However, by agreeing to this, you are making it acceptable behaviour, so if you don't like it, don't do it!! Make it clear you will only address him properly and if he doesn't answer then it is rude, and he will be appropriately dealt with eg naughty step, and the same goes for you, if he calls you anything other than Mum, he shall be ignored until he speaks to your properly.
Have you tried asking his nursery teacher if he does the same thing there??
Best of luck to you/ xx
2007-10-15 00:56:57 · answer #6 · answered by Little Bear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's just play acting. Maybe this Callum gets extra attention from this Maxine and he's jealous and wants to try acting it out at home to get your attention.
2007-10-15 11:15:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt sound good try explaining to him he is at home and you are mum and tell him what he is called maybe he is doing this because he wants to be like this other boy but also explain to him you will not be called maxine and he will not be called callum and everytime he calls you maxine put him on the naughty step for 4 mins and when he tells you to call him callum just tell him no your name is .......... i hope this helps good luck
2007-10-15 00:55:27 · answer #8 · answered by mummy to 3 miracles 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normal BUT you need to stop it now because what he actually doing is laying out the foundations for his authority - he is taking control of you.
You need to tell him that 'Callum' is being naughty and must take some time to himself on the naughty chair/step/or room.
He'll soon stop.
Don't let him continue to rule the roost coz you will have no end of trouble in the future
ADDED: YELLOWFISH (below) - that's the whole idea - to make him think - he will think - hang on a minute - this Callum isn't all he's cracked up to be - he keeps getting punished - he'll then think - screw this, I am me - it's called REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY
2007-10-15 00:54:37 · answer #9 · answered by jamand 7 · 10⤊ 1⤋
its a bit strange - maybe he thinks its a game?
Does he explain why? if you are worried see a doctor, health visitor.
If your not happy with it say no i'm not maxine and your no callum were here at home and were mummy and .....
and deal with the tantrums as you would any other.
Say enoughs enough you dont want to play that game any more.
Talk to a doctor and tell them your worries
2007-10-15 00:52:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋