How do i handle a "break" in a relationship?

Question

I've never had this happen to me before...I'm in love with my girlfriend and I was so stressed this past month that it drew her away from me to the point at where she wanted a break. I'm so pissed at myself and the situation.
To make things worse I got my act together in less than 2 weeks and she still isn't showing any interest in wanting to be back together. She was also stressed that month and we had 2 big nothing fights.
We discussed why we're taking a break; which was because she said I was a different person and we both agreed we had been creating a facade for each other. I don't know what to do...I want her back so bad, but it all seems hopeless. It's barely been 2 weeks since we broke and its felt like a month and she doesn't notice....
Also, I broke her privacy border by accident.. showing up to her house to do my laundry cause you know it's free at her house. She did not look happy at all; she didn't say a word to me nor did she smile. Did I **** up really bad?

Also, she has a lot of problems expressing herself to me for some reason and I don't know why. I'll watch her interact with her friends and have plenty of conversations that i'm definitely equipped for, but it's just speechless with me. We both never know how to start a conversation anymore; honestly I don't think we really talked all that much.
She's had a really rough past and I have a feeling she's ashamed of it, but I don't really get it she shouldn't feel ashamed. At the same time I've never completely exposed myself because we both had this exact problem at the same time. I have a strange sense of humor that only a few girls really like and thats the reason I haven't been completely myself....i'm just going to keep my mouth shut to her and wait to see if she'll come back to me, but I doubt she will. I'll take that advice and let her know with small things and stuff..

Answer 1

i've been in a similar situation myself recently. i was with my boyfriend (who i'm still seeing by the way) for about 4 months back then. i had to take 4 exams again during the summer vacation and i was really stressed because i wanted to pass. i got really distant towards him whenever we were together - not be affectionate at all, getting quiet, ... he tried to pull me closer but i didn't give him much of a chance. and every time i left his place i realised what i had done and i wanted to make it up to him but i didn't dare say anything so it went on like that. after about a month of this he gave up hope on us ever getting back to how we were - and me getting back to the sweet girl i used to be.
i realised i had hurt him a lot and we talked. i told him i had been under a lot of stress and that it wasn't him, i still loved him, i wanted things to get back to normal and i was soooo sorry about what i had done because i really do love him.
saying sorry apparently was key here. along with saying why i did this and that it wouldn't happen again. we were on the verge of a breakup back then, but we worked it out. this was 3 months ago, and yes, we've had some rough times but we got past this. if she does take you back, you have to be aware that you'll have to put a lot of effort into showing her that you're back to being the "real" you. she won't know what to expect and will probably - as i would too, and as my bf did - let you do most of the calling and planning dates and stuff. you owe her this in my opinion. it can be hard, i know... but it can make things work again - just don't stalk her.
tell her that you love her very much and want another chance to show her how happy you can make her. also tell her that if you EVER start acting like this again she has to tell you so you can change your attitude - because i know that for me it was all subconscious and i thought we were going through some rough times, didn't realise i was to blame for most of it.

Answer 2

Breaks suck... and personally i've never found them helpful in a relationship in the long run, In fact... there normally harmful. Unless well you want to take breaks with each other for the rest of your life, but instead learning to deal with and accept those months that were stressful. More importantly learning to not take the stress out on each other and relaxing with each other simply because the other person is there. Give her time and space, and if you dont get back together its for the better. You both need to learn how to deal with stress together with out it getting in the way of your relationship. As for the privacy border it should be fine as long as you dont do it again. Im sure she already knows you want to be back with her, so there is no reason you have to give her any sign or tell her, but let her come to you when shes ready.
Hope this helps, wish you luck. Almost everything fixable/preventable if two people work at it and are comfortable with each other.

Answer 3

No, it's just over, that's all. Going to her house to do laundry made no difference at all. Things were already decided at that point. The sooner you begin the moving on process, the sooner you'll be over her and able to love someone else.

Sit down with a pen and a piece of paper and write down what you've learned from this. I see a half-dozen lessons just in what you wrote.

Answer 4

Try to persuade her to get back together if she refuses then move on with your life. She is not the only girl around you will find someone who can return your love.

Answer 5

write a letter and send it to her with some flowers telling her what you just said....
personally i think taking 'a break ' ,, is a load of 'you know what ' as you are either together or your not.

good luck

Answer 6

Break into her house and confront her with your feelings.

Answer 7

sounds like it