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My dog is 14, i feel that her quality of life is very poor now. she is blind, deaf, no sense of smell, wets on carpet and her bed, arthritis and kidney problems.
yesterday she was very confused and actually stood in her food and water bowl. i know that it would be kinder to have her put to sleep. my heart is breaking but also i am worried about how my son will take it. he is 16 and has aspergers. he wont understand if i get her put to sleep.i am worried he will blame me. i thought i could take the dog to vet but bring her home and say she died but this would mean me having to go myself as my husband works during the day and son would be in at 5.30.
I feel like i am being selfish thinking about all this i love the dog so much i just dont know what to do for everyones sake.

2007-10-14 22:48:25 · 20 answers · asked by sunnyday 1 in Pets Dogs

20 answers

People with Aspergus, are missunderstood. I actually have an extremely mild case of aspergus, and yet at 24, I have two degrees and two lower qualifications.

The reason younger people blame people for the death of their pets, is because they don't understand death. If you don't understand it, then its frightening, and when it happens, then its got to be someones fault.

In this case your dog is suffering because of your feelings for your son. Worrying about him now is not the answer. The dog is the priority, as she obviously needs to be put down. A dog that can't see, smell or hear, is literally living a life of paralysation, hence the urinating and feeding bowl issues.

If you think it may help, aspergus children although a little distant, like to feel involved in a lot of things going on around them. Its the socialising disorder however that makes it difficult for us. I can write on herer all night long, but I still have difficulty in talking to people I don't know in public. Try finding a vet, who will come to the house and explain why she needs to be put to sleep. And then put her to sleep in the house. Then the vet can either take the dog away, or you can bury her. But always refer to her as being put to sleep. Don't say put out of her misery, as this makes your son think shes miserble on another level or because hes stopping her from going, and never say put down. Remember Aspergus people take things literally and metaphors don't work well. Being put to sleep suggests a long rest at the end of a busy day.

And the most important thing, is replace the dog. Once she has gone, do not wait weeks on end, for your feelings of your old dog. She would not want to see you upset and would like to know that a younger dog was now playing with your son and keeping him safe and protected.

When you introduce the new dog, your son may reject him, saying he doesn't want it. This is normal as the bond is not broken from the first one. But at the same time he will be curious of the new puppy and want to play with it. Technically he will want the dog, but not want it, if you get what I mean.

Within 24 hours, the bond between your new puppy and your son will be unbreakable, and they will do everything together.

When I got my Millie at 17, I wouldn't leave her unattended for any length of time, even to the point of taking her to lectures at University, which was ok cos I was doing Animal behaviour.

Hope I'v been some help to you, and if you want to chat some more about it, you can get me on my 360 profile

http://uk.360.yahoo.com/my_profile-I3CvIiQ3frS5FDP_qTMI3aJZIw--;_ylt=AnBiKa6o2qnwMJWYzSfP3ks8FOJ3?cq=1

I have a blog archive where you can view blogs I have wriiten about my dog, its actually noticable how my views of my dog differ from what people without Aspergus see

2007-10-14 23:12:50 · answer #1 · answered by Feral 4 · 4 0

I have a grandson that also has Aspergers. He is a real animal lover and due to this is a self proclaimed vegetarian since the age of four. If you sit down and explain suffering it may help. Also, I know this sounds cruel and may be hard for you but, I would have a new pup or dog in the house the same day. When Ian's dog was hit by a car my son never told him until after he brought in a Lab puppy. It was Ian that asked about the other dog and that is when my son told him. He cried but, quickly comforted himself with the new pup. He still has pictures of himself with his other dog and still says a prayer for her every night. But, I feel and so do my grandsons parents that the new pup absorbed a lot of the shock. Just our experience. Oh, my grandson is eight years old and the dog was with the family prior to Ian being born. So this was the only dog he ever had and had been there his entire life. Good Luck, I know how hard this can be and how worried you are.

2007-10-14 23:08:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 5 1

It really would be best for the dog to be put down. There's no quality of life left is there? I don't know how bad your son's Asperger's is, but maybe you could make up a scenario that leaves you out of the blame, or helps your boy accept it because he died for a good cause, or something?

2007-10-14 23:35:12 · answer #3 · answered by skyespirit86 3 · 1 0

ah bless, I know the feeling, and it is an awful decision to make, you know in your heart it is the right decision, and you dont want your girl to be like this. Remember the good times you had with her, and let her go gracefully. Can you vet come out to your house?

I know it is not the time to think about it, and you can never replace your old girl, but a puppy in the house would really help your son.

As for the person who said to get it stuffed, they need stuffing, some people are so heartless.

2007-10-15 06:15:34 · answer #4 · answered by jules77 4 · 0 0

We recently hd our 14 yr old schnauzer put down for similar reasons, it broke all our hearts, but after the initial mourning we realised we'd done the right thing and we were only keeping him alive for selfish reasons. If your son wont understand if she isn't there when he comes back I am afraid that i think you are going to have to be brave. Our vets do home visits, they charge a little extra but maybe a vets in your area could come to your home while your son is out.

2007-10-15 02:47:55 · answer #5 · answered by MrsFidge 2 · 0 0

HIy I understand you fully on your feelings.I went though the same thing with my beloved cat last year. you have to think of the dog it is time now to let go you have to put your feeling and your son to one side. you are doing the right thing as the dog is not living just exsisting. talk to your son and exsplain to him that the dog is suffering. I know your son dose not want to let go as the dog as been part of his life to but he needs to understand that the dog is unhappy and suffering if he dose not understand now I am sure he will do in the not so distand future. you are not been selfish at all if you keep your dog alive he will sufer more and it could be worse for all your family and feeling guilty you did not do this earlyier

2007-10-15 02:05:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Could you bring the vet to your house and have your dog put to sleep at home? I don't know about your sons illness, but would he understand if he saw your dog being put down? It would also be kinder for your dog to have her put to sleep in the comfort of home, and less stressful for everyone.
Either way, your dog is suffering and needs to be the most important issue here. You have my sympathy.

2007-10-15 02:02:37 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Divine ♥ 6 · 0 0

So very sorry to hear about your beloved pet.
Only you can make this painfull decision and your heart will tell you the right thing to do.....
maybe you would consider a rescue dog a little later on, explain to your son that another dog needs him now, i dont profess to be knowledgable about dogs or aspergers, so I hope you find the answers you are searching for.
This is the huge downside to having and loving our pets.
good luck xx

2007-10-15 00:38:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

In my family we believe that when one of our animals have died. We have given another rescued dog or cat a new home. All my children's lives we have had pets and whenever one dies we always make a big thing about going and getting another deserving one. It never truly replaces the dead one because you cannot replace something you love, but the children grew up to accept death and know that you can give another sad lonely rescue dog a second chance. I think that you should be up front to your son. I know he has aspergers but if you say how poorly she is and make a funeral for her so he can say goodbye I think he will cope better than you think. Then make a special day out and allow him to help pick another dog from a rescue centre and then he will accept that from sadness can come joy.

2007-10-14 23:07:49 · answer #9 · answered by lovablelell 2 · 5 0

don't worry get a new dog then sit down with him and tell him how much pain the dog is going through he might understand if not well tell him if you don't get him put to sleep then you are making him in more pain he will go to a better place

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2007-10-15 00:31:41 · answer #10 · answered by xannie222x 2 · 0 0

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