When people say "sorry but that's my opinion", do they really mean "you're not allowed to object or disagree"?

Question

Often I find that when someone says "sorry but that's my opinion", the ATTITUDE behind their spoken words suggests that they really meant to communicate this message: "Unfortunately for you, my personal point of view is beyond reproach and I will be highly irritated if you dare to object or disagree".

It seems that some people place opinions up on a pedestal; they treat opinions like untouchable, sacred things that no one ought to ever contradict or suggest to be ill-informed. It seems that they feel slighted or wronged in some way if people don't either agree with/affirm the point of view expressed or tiptoe away politely without protest.

Does anyone notice a similar attitude in others (or in themselves) once in a while?

Answer 1

That really depends on tone of voice and body language, and all the other things that we cannot reproduce here, in written form

Yes, I have had the experience of someone saying exactly 'Sorry, but that's my opinion" in a snotty tone of voice, with pursed mouth and looking down their nose at me.

And it means, in that instance, pretty much what you've said.

It's a conversation-ender. It's indicative that the person saying it has decided to no longer entertain ideas other than his or her own.

It sometimes cracks me up, because it's so disingenuous. The person is NOT sorry.

Here's a great way to bring such a person back to consciousness of what they are saying. Ask "Really? Why are you sorry that that's your opinion? What exactly about that opinion are you sorry to hold?"



Wait - no, better not do that. It works for me, but that's because I don't ever do it maliciously, and I don't care if they get upset, and I've spent a lifetime purposely responding to what people *actually say* in my one-person effort to get people to *actually say* what they mean.


I'm a nasty bit of work, sometimes.

Answer 2

I've noticed the same thing.

When I offer an opinion, it is up to the recipient to take it or leave it. They don't have to agree, but unless the forum in which I offer the opinion is a debate or I offer said opinion with/as a question, I don't appreciate having my opinions rammed back down my throat. That said, I do appreciate the variety of different thoughts and ideas that can be offered on any given topic provided that the expression is reasonably kind and polite even when in disagreement. The world would be a bit boring if everyone had precisely the same opinions, thoughts, and ideas.

Answer 3

Sometimes yes, there's a degree of close-mindedness to it. I notice this when I express something that I know to be fact--complete with backing examples and sometimes even references. Rather than examine the information given to them, they inform me that I have an opinion--they also have theirs, and we should leave the rest to the rest.

It really depends on the conversation. If discussing religion, it's very rare that a person really wants any true discussion--even if they state that they are open to it. What they MEAN when they say that they don't mind debate, is that they don't mind hearing personal validation from others who share the same viewpoints.

As a personal fitness trainer, there have been numerous times when I've given advice that got ignored simply because it doesn't tie in with what the muscle magazines and guys at the gym are telling them. Medical copy and the advice of doctors don't mean anything to them: They want me to rehash old information that--even though it's highly contradictory--they've already accepted as fact. No matter how dangerous or non-productive!

It's frustrating, but I've noticed much the same as you have.

Answer 4

When I say something like that I mean that it's fine that you have your opinion, and I respect that. However, you're not going to make me change my opinion on the matter, and you need to respect that as well. I have changed a few opinions when I've read more on the subject, but I don't know that I'm displaying any more attitude about it than anyone else.

Answer 5

I believe that, most often, people use that point when they either want to avoid conflict, or don't want judgment passed over their opinions. Surely anyone can understand the idea of not wanting to have our ideals challenged, or not wanting to argue a battle that won't accomplish anything. Your best bet is to stop becoming offended by this and realize that they aren't necessarily saying that their ideas are absolute, but merely that, though you are of course entitled to your own opinion, they don't want to argue over the difference. All of us deserve the right to hold opinions without hearing about it from others, just as one wouldn't want their religion being questioned, nor would anybody want their thoughts brought to trial.

Answer 6

Hmm. I can't really speak on the intentions of others when they say that unless I can see the entire context in which they said it.

But I can from experience say that sometimes people *do* give opinions entirely too much reverence.

To have an opinion is a right, and like every other right, your right ends where the next person's right begins.

This in contrast to a fact... a fact is not a right, a fact simply *is*.

Some people remember quite clearly that they have a right to their opinion, while forgetting quite conveniently that everyone else has an equal right to theirs.

That's my opinion, anyway :p

Answer 7

Having worked in the Middle East for a number of years I understand this mindset. Sadly, there is a lot of unrighteousness and ungodliness on the internet and Youtube and Facebook are prominent symbols of that. Thus the demonstrations come. Perhaps, if we cleaned up the internet according to biblical values like we should the Islamic terrorists would not hate us quite so much, though I would never condone such violence.

Answer 8

They're normally expressing their right to hold an opinion, and giving the message:

My mind is made up do not attempt to reason.

You have an opinion, I am sure there are many issues I could not change your mind on, not that I want to.

I am sure if I challenged your ideas enough you would get annoyed and eventually say "Sorry but thats my opinion"

Answer 9

They probably don't mean they are sorry at all. They regard their opinions as facts. I like the saying, "Don't believe everything you think." If you start looking at the number of people who state their opinions as facts, it can be overwhelming. Sports broadcasters are some of the worst for this.

You might think of them as poor collaborators because they aren't thinking of the other person's point of view or giving it any regard. Too bad for them. They are missing the wonderful experience of having multiple minds come together to create something that no mind could have thought of alone!

Answer 10

I think it could mean two things.

One is that it's their opinion, so others don't have the right to criticize or trying to change that opinion. It's a rather defensive measure.

The second is that they think they might upset others, so they say "sorry but that's my opinion" in order to stress that it's their OPINION and not a FACT. In this case it's a considerate act.