My boyfriend and I have been going out for 8 months. He works around 80 hours a week and I work around 40 and I am also in college. We try to see each other every night after work but sometimes he says he will call and he doesn't. This has only happened about 5 times and the next day he says he is sorry he was just extremely tired. I understand, it's just I don't know. Some things have happened recently, like his ex is always bothering us and around 5 months ago, he pecked another girl on the cheek/neck thinking I didn't see and what was worse, she looked like a man. Sometimes I doubt his faithfulness because of that incident and he gets upset with me. He gets extremely jealous and thinks that every guy is out to be with me. He says "I'm afraid you are too beautiful for me and will leave me." We have had some horrible fights for his jealousy and he has become violent, never full on hit me, but has shoved me out of the way with his arm. We haven't fought in a long time.
2007-10-14 19:02:40 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just don't know what to do because we never see each other and when we do, he is too dead to do anything. I love him but I'm so tired of being sad and disappointed. In the past because of his jealousy he would call me awful names, even if another guy smiled at me. He hasn't done this in a long time, but it scares me it could happen again. What should I do?
2007-10-14 19:03:27 · update #1
I think that you need to get out of this relationship. Any time a person is afraid of their mate, it's a bad situation. And if he really wanted to spend time with you, he'd figure it out. My best friend was in a similar situation and her boyfriend claimed to work all day everyday, and she found him out on a date with another girl, who he claimed was his employee, and when he claimed that he was at work. Hah! Liar. Months after she broke up with him, he came knocking on her door and literally begged for her to take him back. She had moved on and didn't. I suggest you do the same. Even if it does hurt.
2007-10-14 19:11:27 · answer #1 · answered by Freke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Red flags, red flags, red flags. Alright, first off, ANY man who even lays a hand on you should be GONE. That alone warrants you leaving. I know you love him, hun, but this kind of thing only gets worse until it's professionally addressed. Think about it. He has shoved you before, he has emotionally abused you by calling you names and making accusations. Do you WANT to be in an abusive relationship? Get out now before you get in too deep... the deeper you go, the harder it will be to leave.
As for the cheating, it's quite possible. A few posters mentioned that people who cheat tend to be insecure and accuse their gf/wife of cheating on THEM. This is very true. It's common... so that's a red flag right there. If you really want answers, you should look in his phone for weird calls or his computer. The fact that he works 80 hours a week sure makes it easy to hide behind. It's easy for him to say he was too tired to call you... not saying that's not a valid excuse to not call you, but it sure is an easy "out" for him sneaking around on you. He's obviously emotionally disturbed by him saying "oh, you're too beautiful for me." That's B.S. You're really dealing with an abusive relationship here. He tries to "butter you up" and make you feel guilty for nothing by saying crap like that. It makes him seem vulnerable. Just remember YOU are the victim here.
Finally, you've been dating him for only 8 months? That's nothing! Make a clean break while it's still early in the relationship... I hope you make the right choice.
2007-10-14 19:18:31 · answer #2 · answered by Cochy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, honey you have a BIG problem here and I want you to read this carefully.
He is trouble, don't give me this excuse that "he never full on hit me", if he ever came close, he is an abuser.
Time to think about getting this guy out of your life for good. This guy is a jerk, kissing other women, telling you he'll call and then was "too tired", right, he's not working he's out behind your back. If you doubt his faithfulness, why are you with this creep?
Wise up, never allow any guy to treat you like this, have respect for yourself. In this case, you will have to take measures to protect yourself, I suggest you be very smart on how you will handle this. Contact a counselor at a battered womens clinic or shelter for advice.
And whatever you do, don't ever take him back, no matter what.
2007-10-14 19:16:09 · answer #3 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the 2 of you need some time apart. The timing is not good for him especially but also you too. He has definitely no time to be in a relationship and you need to focus on your school work. Take a break from each other. You both need it. If the both of you love each other a care for one another. You come back when the timing is better. Maybe it will make you both and your relationship so much stronger. So give each other some space. You really need to.
2007-10-14 19:18:26 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any kind of violence is a bad sign. it will only progress. Get out now!!
2007-10-14 19:07:10 · answer #5 · answered by kermit 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a cheater is the most insecure. He will always accuse you of cheating. he's cheating.
2007-10-14 19:05:50 · answer #6 · answered by Adrian G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will only get worse!
2007-10-15 15:44:08 · answer #7 · answered by Steven C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋