He ended it, but I was stupid not to fight for him?

Question

He gave me a chance to explain, but because of my pride, I acted like I didn't do anything wrong and that it wasn't important enough. He probably thought I didn't care about him or value the relationship to fight for it, so he broke up with me. I didn't cheat or anything like that, just a bad habit that he has continuously forgiven me for. After the break-up, I thought long and hard about myself and our relationship. I'm willing to change for him, whatever it takes and to make it work. He also doesn't truly know that I'm in love with him. The thing is, I want him to come back on his own, then I know that he honestly wants to be with me. I don't want to push or pressure him. He should feel it for himself, but he needs to know that I can change for the sake of what we had together. I know he misses me and is very sad without me. After giving him some time, I called to ask if I could talk to him later. He said "probably". Is this a good sign? What should I do?

Thanks everyone! I needed that. Yes, what I have to change is really for myself and he made me realize that. Not only so, but it has been long overdue and would help me in other areas of my life. It would someday get me in trouble if I don't get a hold of it now. He's giving me the "yellow" light. I can either choose to run it or stop.

Answer 1

Girlfriend that pride of yours will only make you unhappy. I can totally relate to your story, I use to have a lot of pride. Same thing, I almost lost my boyfriend and I finally let my pride down and called him and we talked. I asked him if he wanted to do something over the weekend and he said he had plans, now this is a guy that would drop everything for me and this time he wasn't dropping his plans to be with me. I had to learn the hardway, it was a rude awakening but I wasn;t about to lose a good guy because of my pride. Needless to say I changed my ways and he noticed and we got married and it will me 9yrs in Nov. I wish you the best of luck. And yes "probably ", is a very good sign.

Answer 2

Depending on your personal moral and standards, u should never sacrifice who u r for someone else. But if it is something u might agree needs 2 change then let him know that. The key is to be stubborn in every aspect of your situation. But if u both love each other very much u will not have any problems. E-mail him, tell him everything u just told me. But do it in a subtle and personal way. If that does not work then keep trying until it is very clear that there is no use. It might just turn out great. But if not, u will not be able to say "what if"? Cuz u did your best. "Probably" might mean a good thing. Sounds like he might be just as nervous as u r. Good luck:)

Answer 3

Lawd u women and ur pride. My g/f does the same thing sometimes... u have to put ur pride to the side cuz thats the one thing Im sure he hates, he feels like U DONT CARE. Show him that u care and he'll come right back. But dont let ur pride get the best of u, u can miss out on a good dude. Real talk.

Answer 4

You can look at it one of 2 ways:

U dont love him as much as u think u do, hence the reason u never stopped doin whateva u were doin and didnt try to fight for him

or U do love him as much as u think u do, u just werent taking him as seriously as u should have. If u werent takin him seriously- u didnt value him- which means u didnt really love him.

Either way he was totally right for dumpin u n if u think im wrong n u DO really love him---u'd do all u can to get him back. I mean explain urself n do something ultra romantic n unforgettable. If he doesnt take u back. Forget him. Nothing worse than begging. Theres plenty of fish in the sea anyway.

Answer 5

if you want to change then forget your pride...bcause it seems that that was the problem. Call him and set a date and talk...hearts out...If you think you love him and it´s worth it, go ahead. Is not pushing or things like that, if there´s something between both of you that is worth it, don´t throw it all away...But make some changes in you (as you mentioned before) and let him know that you´re willing to do it because it matters to you and you love him---You´ll probably be happy with the results...and let us know ;)

Answer 6

Write him a letter explaining what you just wrote. He won't back on his own if he doesn't know any of this. If he thinks things are going to be the same then of course he won't come back - he's sick of it. He gave you a chance to explain and you didn't so explain it now. At the end of the letter write that you want him back however you want him to want to come back. Give him a couple of days to process it and let him know that you will be waiting for an answer what ever it may be.

Goodluck
:-)

Answer 7

It's obvious he still cares and is willing to talk so you have to break down and tell him how you feel. I f changing betters yourself then do what you have to do but never change for somebody else. Don't worry about wanting him to come back on his own remember he didn't want to break up in the first place.

Answer 8

you can only push a person so much, sounds like you pushed him to the end and hes done with your b.s. you should talk to him and let him know how you feel but then again he might have already made up his mind and hes serious and he wont change his mind so you spilling your feelings might just waste your time. you only get a couple chances if that and once those are burnt out thats it..you might have lost his love forever.

Answer 9

1. yes thats a good sign
2. if you dont swallow your pride and let him know that you do care, you're willing to fight for him, and you're sorry, you're going to lose him. hes not a mind reader. stop making him do all the work. why does he have to come to you? swallow your pride and risk getting thrown under the bus if you care about him.

Answer 10

No woman is ever supposed to fight for a guy. Ever. Trust me on this one, or ask someone older and wiser.