Bridesmaid issues?

Question

Im a bridesmaid for a wedding happening in December this year. (Its my Fiancee's sister, i have only met her twice as she lives in New Zealand and i in South Africa), she has chosen her cousin (who is roughly the same age as her & also one of my closest friends) to be maid of honour.

My problem is that the brides cousin professes that she loves the bride so much and they are soooo close and she is really happy and honoured that she is the maid of honour! But get this (I HAVE BEEN DOING ALL THE MAID OF HONOUR DUTIES) and she is just sitting back taking all the credit for it. I have told the bride and the brides mother so that they are aware of it. it took me 4hours to make the hens party invites and i handed them out on Saturday she politely turned around and said "i'm the maid of honour and she's doing all the work"!!! I really dont mind doing it as i have flexible hours but she needs to do some of it at least? Otherwise i should rightfully be MAID OF HONOUR? Please give me advice?

the bride and myself have become close over the years (she is my sons god mother) we correspond via e-mail and telephone so i know her pretty well.

Now the Maid of honour i have become very close to. She is the first person i call if i have a problem. Now the problem is with her and i dont know how to rectify it? I dont want to make unecessary tension on this special day. The bride knows how i'm feeling and i think she had more expectations from the maid of honour. How do i get over this grudge towards my best friend without letting it come out?

It cant all come out of my pocket either, so how do i tell her to pay towards somethings, as everytime i bring up the hens party ideas she always says she hasnt got money coz she knows that either me or the brides mother will pay for everyhting. i'm getting angry coz what she is doing is not right, she says all these wonderful things about the bride but when she actually has to get down and do some thing for the bride "SHE HAS NO MONEY!

I think i have left something out. I'm enjoying doing what i'm doing for the bride. But when the continuous comments like "i'm the MOH and she's doing all the work" "shannon thank you so much for all the work you doing for me, when this is all over i'm going to take you out to dinner"(she can use that money that she is going to take me out to dinner with and use it towards the wedding and party, she says she loves her cousin and she would do anything for her cousin, and she is honoured she is MOH, but her actions are saying something else....

Answer 1

It sounds like you are doing all this extra work because you are close to the bride and want to do all this for her. It does seem unbalanced if the MOH isnt doing her usual duties, but if you are really doing this out of the goodness of your heart, you should let it go and not say anything. You dont need the recognition of MOH, do you?
If you want the MOH to be more involved, assign her duties! Delegate.
Whats important is that the bride has people around who support her. She doesnt need drama.
Edit: About the money, just ask her point blank how much she can contribute to each thing on the list. Sit with her and write it down on paper. Also write what you can contribute, and make a final budget. Then, plan around the budget. Photocopy the page and give it to her! Some people just need a nudge.

Answer 2

a million. It's as much as what your Bridesmaid's put on at the day of your marriage ceremony. two. Are you certain she needs to move? It appears like she does not. I might name her and determine that she certainly needs to be worried within the marriage ceremony. Ask for an sincere reply and inform her that you will not take offence if she does not. It appears like you're after a Bridesmaid who's supportive and excited approximately your day. If she's no longer behaving that approach then it probably nice to be given that . You cannot drive her to think that approach. It's a disgrace however I've heard plenty of circumstances of ladies being this fashion approximately being Bridesmaid. Some are jealous, a few are lazy peers, a few are simply undeniable intricate. It's nice to deliver them the alternative to again out.

Answer 3

JUST STOP!! If you choose to continue then you have your own reasons for letting her take advantage of you. You say you dont mind doing all the work but if that was the fact then you wouldnt be posting this question and you wouldnt have went to the brides mother and the bride with complaints about the maid of honor. Either stop doing it or shut up and go on.

Answer 4

She's using you, stop doing her duties and if she doesn't do them maybe the bride will re-think her choice of MOH. Right now you're making life very easy for her and hard for yourself, the simple answer is that she should be doing those jobs, not you, so don't waste your time, the bride will soon figure out that she has chosen the wrong person for the job.

Answer 5

Stop doing everything for her. Then she'll have to answer to the bride. They both know what's going on, and that you're the acting MOH, and she's the show MOH. I think it's messed up, and you're being taken advantage of, and you really need to stop that. Talk to the bride about it, and tell her that you're unhappy. I'm sure she doesn't want you to be unhappy, seeing as the two of you will be related eventually, and being that her MOH has been slacking thus far, should she expect her to continue slacking off when she really needs her as a MOH. Stop doing what you're doing and start being emotional support for both of them. :)

Answer 6

Is there a question here?

If you don't want to do a task, don't do it. Doing a bunch of work that you're going to get resentful about is just silly.

"Sorry, Maid of Honor, I just don't have time to do so-and-so. Why don't you go ahead and do it?"

It's really as simple as that.

You don't get to be maid of honor because you're doing more work. The MOH choice is made by the bride.

Answer 7

Simply stop doing it for her. If she's supposed to do something, let her do it or look bad for not getting it done. She knows you're doing the work and she thinks it's funny.

She's taking advantage of your generous nature and will continue to do so until you put an end to it.

Answer 8

lot of smell in the air..