i need help with my dad?

Question

The whole problem started with my dog. He is still just a puppy and so likes to chase my sisters cat. Sometimes this goes beyond just chasing for fun though and it actually turns serious, which is when we have to intervene. A couple days ago this happened. My dad who has anger issues and others as well built up from a crappy childhood threw him out of the house in response to this. I went out and got him back inside but by the time i caught him and got him inside my dad had left. I just turned around in time to see him flying out of the driveway. He returned today and talked to me, my sister, and my mom. He thinks the solution is for him to move out. I sometimes think this too, but it would hurt my sister and i dont want that . I need to know what i should say to my dad and what i should do to help my sister if he does move out, which i think he just might tonight when we're asleep. please help me.

Answer 1

first thing i am sooo sorry honey that dad is moving out ( maybe) does that mean he won;t see you guys anymore? i mean just because he doesn;t live with y you doesn;t mean he can;t still be there for you kids almost as much as he was when he lived with you guys. You should really ask your dad about this to reassure you and your sister, ask your dad to talk to her about this it really shouldn;t all be on your shoulders honey, your mom and dad should be talking to both you kids, cause they can both actually be better parents than when they lived together, cause they are better apart. Listen i really want you to know that he isn;t moving out cause of the dog either REALLY...............THERE IS ALOT MORE TO THIS HONEY THAT YOU DON;T KNOW, I MEAN MORE ISSUES OF WHY MOM AND DAD DON;T GET ALONG, AND WHY DAD IS SO MAD ALL THE TIME. DAD BEING MAD ALL THE TIME IS HIS PROBLEM AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU THE DOG OR YOUR SISTER HONESTLY. JUST SAY TO YOUR DAD DAD I AM SCARED WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN YOU MOVE OUT? ARE WE GOING TO BE OK? ASK HIM EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW. TELL HIM THAT YOU NEED HIM, AND SO DOES YOUR SISTER AND THAT YOU REALLY STILL NEED TO SEE HIM EVEN THOUGH HE MOVES OUT. TELL HIM YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR SISTER, AND ASK HIM TO PLEASE NOT JUST MOVE OUT WITHOUT TELLING YOU, AND THAT YOU KINDA KNOW WHAT HE IS UP TO, AND THAT MAYBE HE COULD GO TO COUNCELLING FOR HIS ANGER PROBLEM, AND THAT EVEN IF HE MOVES OUT HE COULD TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT WHY HE IS SO ANGRY ALL THE TIME. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO TALK ABOUT HOW YOU ARE FEELING WITH YOUR MOM, DAD GRANDMA GRANDPA ,,SOMEONE YOU KNOW LOVES YOU, DON;T KEEP ALL YOUR FEELINGS INSIDE YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW SAD YOU ARE, OR HOW MAD YOU ARE. ONE THING THAT IS GREAT THAT YOU ARE ASKING THE QUESTION ON HERE IT SHOWS A GREAT SIGN OF MATURITY THAT YOU ARE SEEKING ADVISE ON SOMETHING SOOOOOO SERIOUS. YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR MOM,THOUGH, AND THAT YOU WERE ONLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR SISTER, WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOM? YOUR DAD ISN;T JUST LEAVING YOU AND YOUR SISTER IS HE? I HOPE NOT.... I HOPE THIS HELPS A BIT HONEY, I AM REAL REAL SORRY THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU, I KNOW IT IS VERY STRESSFUL, BUT STICK WITH THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU, TALK ALOT ABOUT IT, WORK HARD IN SCHOOL, STAY OUT OF TROUBLE OK?
BABY

Answer 2

If your father is going to move out because a puppy acted like a puppy there is not much you can say to him. I think that he has more than anger issues. Having a crappy childhood is not an excuse. I could tell you horror stories about mine. When you have a crappy childhood you rise above and do not treat your wife and children the way that you were treated. I would tell your sister that you are sorry that she is hurting and that you love her. Tell her that she does not feel it now but it will get better. Tell her also that you are there for her if she needs you and then be there for her if she does need you. A man that leaves his family when they are sleeping is a coward, sorry to say that but it is true. Take this all as a lesson on how not to live your life and treat your children. I feel for you and your sister and it will get better. It might even be for the best. Be a good boy and help out your mother as much as you can.Good luck.

Answer 3

Sounds like you dad has some other issues he has to deal with and that the cat and dog issue was an excuse for the cherry on top of the pie for him. Your Dad leaving had nothing to do with you or your sister. Clearly there are marital problems between your Mom and Dad and its not yours or your sisters fault and your parents won't want you two to become involved in their issues together. The thing is, is to be there for your sister as much as you can and to talk to your school counselor for your sake so you can better deal with this big change in your life.

Answer 4

it might just be the best thing if he does move out.....you guys don't need that sort of rage in the house ....and don't think it' because of you and the puppy...it seems like its been coming for a while......your dads a least recognized he has issues and he rather be away from you guys rather then hurt one of you.....let him know that you don't want him to go away 4 ever but you want him to get help and tell him if he leaves don't do it in the middle of the night....at least assure you guys that's its for the best and he'll keep in touch.....because you guys still need him....your little sister is going to be hurt just be there for her...hope things work out...and hope you didn't get rid of the puppy because of this

Answer 5

Congrats Ben!! How far alongside is she? (: i became going to assert Father and Son, dammit. BQ: Breathe interior the Air - purple Floyd BQ2: i'm gonna see if i will end this portray for him by Sunday. My relatives isn't that enormous on Father's Day, nonetheless. Edit: Haha, it rather is thrilling. you will make an incredible dad, i'm effective :D

Answer 6

You cannot control what you dad does or does not do. He is a grown man and he makes his own choices, good or bad.

Who knows? Perhaps if he is really that angry, maybe he does need to be alone for awhile to get himself back together. Tell your sister that he loves all of you, but he needs to get better so he can be the kind of father he was meant to be.

Answer 7

Let him move out, give him his space...
It is better to allow him to take his anger out of the house and away from you kids and your mom before he tosses one of you out like he did the dog. Oh yeah he will say how sorry he is later no matter how angry he gets but why put yourselves thru all that. Wouldn't it be better to look forward to pleasant intermittent visits.

Answer 8

tell your dad that you understand that he might move out. make him promise that if he moves out, it's to do something positive that will lead him back to the family. it sounds like he need therapy to deal with unresolved matters from his childhood and it may be safer for all of you if he is out of the house for awhile. i difficult decision, but the best one for everyone's health. just tell him that you love him and want him to return, when he's ready.

Answer 9

you cannot change your dad's decision if it's final, but theres no harm in trying like? just tell him that he is more important than a puppy or in a cat if doesn't want those things you'll throw it away for him

Answer 10

I don't really think there is anything you can do, if he chooses to leave it is to do with him, and probably your mum, all you can do is be honest with him about how you feel but really it is between them if they are having problems.

As for your sister, all you can do is be there for her, let her know you won't be leaving her anytime soon.