Is This Reasonable?

Question

My parents want to help with the wedding, so do his. Both sets, as well as my Fi and I, agree that each set of parent should contribute equally.

They want us to decide (w/in reason) how much money would be helpful for use to pull off for our wedding.

My Fi and I said, that 5K is reasonable for both parties. My parents make good money (about 90-100K a year). His parents are pretty financial stable also.

So, do you think this is reasonable. This would not even be one large sum of money at one time. My parents might give $1000 for the photographer, then in 6 months another $1500 for the DJ.

What do you think? Is 5K reasonable.

Answer 1

The amount you are requesting isn't huge as long as it's not needed at once which you mentioned it wasn't. Are you and your fiance planning to add to the amount they give you?

Answer 2

Traditionally, The brides parents bear the costs of the wedding venue, and reception... The grooms parents bear the costs of the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon.... The costs of photography is sometimes a shared expense. add to this that the expenses incurred in modern weddings can be in a wide range of expenses depending on the "details" and that, often if a couple has already branched out on their own, parental obligations for wedding expense is often passed on to the couple. In many instances the couple is planning and paying for their own wedding ceremony, reception and honeymoon. In this case the amount of $$ either set of parents give should be considerred a wedding gift, not payment for the wedding/honeymoon.

If however, the brides parents are considerably involved in planning/details/guest list, etc. then the brides parents should incur the costs of the event. If the brides family takes on a traditional role then the grooms family is responsible for it's different traditional role......

It all depends on what your individual circumstances are....

By the way don't stress traditional rules are not set in stone. (They are only a guide "and a dated one at that") Your wedding is (and should be) uniquely "YOU" Modern weddings showcase the couples personality and style (not someone else's) And many couples pay for their own weddings; So any contribution from the parents is a gift and accept it graciously.

Congratulations.... & Good Luck

Answer 3

It depends on the budget for the wedding. If you are planning a $100000 wedding, well then I'd say that this is too little and if you are planning a $10000 wedding, I'd say you are asking for too much. I think that you should ask for 20% - 25% of the total cost of the wedding from each party

Answer 4

Why not outline the kind of wedding you'd like to have, present some costs (after you've done research) and allow them to decide what they want to pay for. You might find that one set of parents really wants an open bar, and is willing to pay for it, while another might feel that floral is the most important and would be willing to pay extra to have nice flowers.

Answer 5

very reasonable but decide on a budget (get some quotes) and then let them know how much it is costing. They might split the cost 50/50 if you are lucky : )

Our wedding is costing well over 30K so 5 or 10 for us is a small dent

Answer 6

The average wedding is $25k so $5k each is very reasonable. I think that is a moderate yet affrodable amount for both if their income is in the $100k range.

Answer 7

I'd say let them offer a sum that they think is reasonable, rather than you guys saying "We want 5K". You don't know what sort of financial position they are really in, yes you know their earnings but do you know how much their out goings are? Let them tell you how much they will be giving.

Answer 8

I think that is reasonable yup. Make sure to talk to them each separately about it though so they don't feel pressured.


Just so you know... most photographers cost minimum 2000 now, and with a good package and decent XP they cost around $4000.00

Answer 9

Well it all depends on the type of wedding you want... My reception alone was 4500 so it really depends on what you wanna do... I would say 5000 might not be enough to do everything you may want...

Answer 10

Sounds reasonable but talk to the parents together about it.

And, its nice that your parents are helping but please do not count their money as guaranteed until it is in your hands. Things may come up (emergency, car trouble, etc) that may not enable them to help you out.