---Everyone, pllease tell me,..Should i get married at 19?

Question

My parents think its too early.
-- They want me to finish school first, have some money on my own,..and they think that i should just --Be Ready for that life, saying that its soon for me. What do you think??

Answer 1

I really truly believe that you need to be able to provide for yourself financially before you get married. Because what if you get married now, before you get an education, and end up not completing your education for whatever reason, and depend on your husband for income? What if you get divorced? Or something happens to him? Or he loses his job and can't get another one? Do you want to try to support your family on minimum wage?

This is why my parents don't want me to get married until I've finished my education, and have a decent job that I can support myself with. It doesn't hurt that my dad is a divorce attorney.

I know that sounds a little bit harsh, but it's reality! I hope that you complete some kind of school, and wait to get married.

I'm not even touching the maturity level.

I agree with the poster who said that if you have to ask if you should get married, then you shouldn't.

I think you need to wait. If you're meant to be together, you'll be together, no matter how long it takes.

Answer 2

I do a lot of "young weddings". When I'm asked this question the answer is always the same. 19 can be too young, however what are your plans together? Are you going to finish school, is that a major event that must be completed? A family, when do you think you would like to start one? Will it mess up any other plans you have? What are you going to do to prevent a family coming along too soon> Are you able to afford to be married? Got a job, got a stable job, one that will carry both in time of need? Can you get through the hard times with out going to either parents?
Make a list, make it together, put your goals down on paper, school, family, buying a home,..... Now think of the worst case ever, what if???? My red flags for young couples are: They do not seem to care at all about setting down a good foundation for their life together, when they state that divorce is always an option.......
With that said, I totally believe in marriage, don't play house together, that house has no foundation, it will fall and you will be hurt to the core. You are very lucky to be 19, your life is fully in front of you. If your love can not stand waiting a year or two, please, please do not marry. Because your love will not even bear the weight of marriage. Take good care, Chaplain Debby

Answer 3

I would strongly consider finishing school first. I got married when I was 18 to my high school sweetheart. We are still happily married 5 yrs later but it has not been easy a lot of the time. I am still trying to finish my BS degree (2 yrs left). He is in the army and went to Iraq twice which I think made things harder than they would have been otherwise. We have a 3 yr old son who is amazing but it also makes some things harder (like college). If you do get married I would wait until you are done with school to be a parent if you even want kids. And one last thing I would consider is you might be a totally different person in a few years. There's nothing wrong with a long engagement.

Answer 4

No no nO Nope NO No no no Forget It No Nono NO nO nO NO NO No Hell No You Will Regret It NO no no no no no You Have Your Whole Life Ahead Of You NO no No Think About It NO no No Sir No Way No Sh*T NO nope No Oh No No Way You Will Regret It NO no No NO no no no no no no Are You Nuts NO no NO Don't Do It NO no NO NO no NO nO no NO no and...





NO.

Go to school, or do whatever you want to do in order to begin your adult life, but Don't Get Married this early.

If you do get married now, I wish you the best of luck however my guess is that you will just turn into another stat on the divorce charts. Then the alimony and child support begins, and the attorneys, and the bills and headaches. At age 30 you will look 75 (perhaps a slight over-statement but close).

I will be getting married for the 4th time soon to a beautiful and smart, wonderful woman of my same age. I am lending you my advice from the past 3 marriages that did NOT work out. The first was when I was about your age. I wish I had the internet back then so someone could have given me 62 no's and a brief clip of their background knowledge of the subject.

Another thing I will pass on is that my past failures will not all their fault. Yes, I too was to blame. I have learned from my mistakes, plus I am lucky enough to not only find a woman that has looks, but also has a great mind on her shoulders. That is why it will work this time.

I'm not telling you to wait until you are my age (50+) to get married, but wait until you at least have a chance to go out with the guys/gals, stay up all night when you want, and have some time on your own first. Get a job, go to school... and live your life for the next few years, then get married. For once, listen to your parents.

Hope that helps,
SWJ

ps: If you are at all religious, then listen to this. There is only 2 valid reasons for a divorce or remarriage. The first is the death of your partner. The second is if you find your partner cheating on you (which was the case of mine). Go into this as if you will stick it out, no matter what, and that DIVORCE is not an option.

Answer 5

I married at 18 and I totally agree with your parents. Not meaning to be nasty, but at 19 you have so much growing still to do....I know you wont listen to your parents and will probably get married anyways, just like I did. But be prepared for regrets....you may regret giving up your youth, one day you will wake up and realise how much you missed out on.....or you could outgrow your man.....I did, you do a lot of changing in your early 20's.
Live a bit of life first, go to college, earn some money, take a trip or two over seas, see some of the world. You will regret it if you dont do it now.....and saying you will do it together when you are married, well it usually doesnt work that way....You both need holidays, but you will have a house and bills to pay for and later children.....you will never get around to it.Think long and hard before deciding to marry at 19, please.

Answer 6

Some people are ready at 19 and some people are not. It is a big decision and a big commitment. I am thankful to have finished my studies before getting married and working for a year and having a year out of home. It is important to have a mature outlook, have some personal goals and learn some responsiblity like paying rent and other bills for yourself. Ask your parents to clearly explain to you why they don't consider you are ready. It may seem frustrating but they have more life experience and may save you heartache in your future. All the best whatever you decide.

Answer 7

If you're having to ask, you're probably not ready to get married. I got married at 20, dropped out of college, got a job, worked for 20+ years. Now I'm a middle age college student and it's SO much harder. Enjoy your life as it is! If this person is the one for you, it will happen, and you will know. It sound like right now it's just too early.

Don't rush into a decision either way. Listen to your parents, think abut what they say and make the best decision you can.

Answer 8

I was ready to get married at 19, but I personally waited till I was done with school. The way I figured it, if I love the man at 19, what's a couple more years?

I didn't want to start off our marriage on a bad foot. I thought that if we were both students and married, it'd be too much stress (keep in mind, being newlyweds alone is a lot of stress to take on).

I'm still happy with my decision, we're planning our wedding now and now that I"m done with school....phew, I feel like, "OK, here we go!". I can really enjoy being a wife now instead of worrying about finals LOL.

Good luck to you both :)

Answer 9

Some people get married at 17 and live happy, fulfilling lives. Nobody but you can really know if you're ready for such a commitment. Most people your age are still kids themselves; having said that, if you're ready and mature enough, I don't see why not.

Personally, I'm waiting until after I'm done Honors and at least a couple of years into Med school before getting married. A man must be able to defend, and provide for his family. Though I have spent many years thoroughly preparing for the first responsibility, I am not ready to take care of the second, and I cannot allow myself to start a family until I am.

Answer 10

People do get married at 19 and it works... but for the majority of people who marry that young, it doesn't. If you are with someone and you are serious, just be with them. Get engaged and have a long engagement if that would "hold you over" til your parents felt you were old enough. They might even prefer you live together, see how things work out, instead of jumping into a marriage. Not to mention, it is a huge step, it's best for you and your boyfriend that your parents agree to the union. It would cause tension and awkwardness if you married against their wishes.