Help with my lazy sister?

Question

I have a 19 year old sister who lives at home with me, my brother and my mom. The thing is that she dropped out of high school, she doesn’t work, or even help around the house. She takes off with her boyfriend whenever she wants and doesn’t come home for days, and when she does it’s just to sleep and eat all the food we buy, me and my brother are tired of this situation, we want to kick her out, but my mother opposes saying that if we kick her out of the house and something happens to her, it will be our fault. What should me and my and my brother do? Should we admit her to come to the house whenever she wants so she can take off whenever she wants? Or kick her out for good?

Answer 1

you and your mother are not responsible for her life. she's 19, not 9. so it's not kicking a 9 year old out of the house. either she shapes up by helping out, contributing to the welfare of the household, or she can leave and do whatever she wants elsewhere.

there's a lot of things between kicking her out and letting her take full advantage of the situation at no cost to her. you and your mother should talk to your sister, firmly, and see how she responds. if she doesn't shape up, well, that's like a third roommate you don't need. and she needs to learn to take care of things for her own good.

i'd say that she can come and go as she pleases but when she is at the house, she must partake in a b c and d. you're not a hotel, you're a household.

i know it's hard to do things, like creating distance between people whom we love and feel a responsibility towards, but sometimes it is for their own good. sometimes saying no, that is enough and this is not ok is for your own good, too.

Answer 2

You need to hold a family meeting... all hands on deck as soon as the 19 year old arrives.
Time to lay down the law.

Your mom needs to spell out the rules and the consequences. Sister needs to be in school, or at work, or a combination in order to continue to stay there. She must also clean up after herself and tend to her assigned chores around the house like everyone else does.
I think it would be a good idea if your mom requires a certain amount of money as "rent" that she can save on behalf of your sister.
The idea is to get her to either straighten up or leave. Period.
At 19 she is considered an adult.