HELP!!!!! My sister is 18, her boyfriend is 18. She tells me they are getting married and wants me to go.?

Question

ok here are the details....
he is an illegal immigrant, she claims to love him and that they want to get married before the citizen laws change, so they can have a normal life.
They both have not graduated H.S. and are very immature i think as far as finances go and jobs/school.
We were raised in church and my mother does not like this boy for VERY good reasons i can't say, and feels like my sister is making a mockery out of marriage. My mother will be very hurt, and i HATE that.
I LOVE my sister and want to be there for her but i feel as if i'm not being honest with her, i do feel she is too young to get married and he is all wrong for her. What should i do she wants me to go to the courthouse this week and be a wittness. Should i just support her because no one else in my family is. or should i try to stop something i KNOW she is going to do anyways, we have had ALOT of arguments over this guy the past year and her and i relationship is finally back on track..HELP!!!!

you can't just have him deported he has to do something illegal, and she is 18 she doesn't need anyones permission. She already knows my parents will kick her out if she does.....Im SO LOST....

you can't just have him deported he has to do something illegal, and she is 18 she doesn't need anyones permission. She already knows my parents will kick her out if she does.....Im SO LOST....

Its not that he is illegal, but my best friend at one time was illegal and even she said you have to watch out becuase alot of people will use you for citizenship.
and i am one of those that think it should be easier for people already over here to obtain citizenship.

Answer 1

You cannot control anyone else's life. She's an adult, even if she's not acting like it. You might want to tell her if they find out that he's simply looking for a green card by marrying her, he'll still be deported. However being from another country isn't a good enough reason for hating him. If its been going on for a year, your parents apparently haven't had any influence.

You don't have to get involved with this. Simply tell her you disapprove, you love her and you know this is the wrong thing for her. Don't give the impression of support by being there. If you are wrong and they live a long and happy life, you can apologize later.

I'm torn about what to tell your parents. They cannot stop her, however they might feel you stabbed them in the back by not telling them. I guess as a mother I would want you to tell me, but as a sister, I would want you to support me. When my sister got pregnant when she was 17 and came to me about what to do, I told her that I would not tell our folks but if she and her b/f were old enough to have sex, then they were old enough to tell our parents about the mistake they made. They have been married for 31 years and the "mistake" is a lovely young woman of 31. Over time, all things work out. Tell her that you won't tell your parents unless she doesn't, give her 24hours. Tell her that it should be an indication of how wrong this is by the very fact that she can't be open about it and has to sneak away. If he loved her, he would have more respect for her than that.

Good luck.

Answer 2

You know your sister stands to ruin her life by eloping with this twerp. She is more than likely going to have a baby right off the bat with him... that is called an "anchor baby".

You need to tell your mother so she will have the opportunity to intervene, either directly, or have INS nab him. It would help if she has information as to where he lives/works or at least a phone number.

At least have a little family meeting and ask her to at least graduate high school FIRST and have a real plan in place before getting married. She needs to have an education so she can earn enough money to support herself and her kid.

Answer 3

This is a funny story, proper? Babies, marrying infants, and having infants. This may not final through a being pregnant, after which a few blameless little one will get to be raised by way of a grandmother, or an aunt (you) or a unmarried mother.... exotic... Read this to her... Sweetie, you'll move from being the huss, the horny fox, the huss the babe to pregger girl, and housekeeper. And for him, he'll move from being the dude, the intercourse computing device the person, the screwing king, to father and supplier. And nobody will ever let you know that that is going to occur for your relaxed little dating, and also you it appears suppose that marriage and having a youngster are the reply to your whole issues... oh, my, how improper you'll be.... Your little dating will flip a hundred and eighty levels!!!!!! All we get advised is , "OHHHH we are gonna have a baaayyyyyybeeeee, ain't that sooo romantic???". and it is not. You don't seem to be going to stick what he married , and he is not going to stick what you married, and the clients of being a father with decrease testosterone (he does not realize that but) will simply surprise the sh(it) out of him.... He's nonetheless a youngster, and now he has you preggers,,,, what a shocker. And he'll run... he is too younger and so are you.....Some men move out and feature affairs, and get a few moment girl preggers...)... and the worries particularly begin after the child is born, and now this screaming 3rd factor is for your dating... you now not get to suppose of one another, you ought to rise up, feed this child, and he has to position up along with your quickly to occur exchanging moods... quality, huh? Kids don't seem to be bonding, hon, they're divisive, even in very cast marriages..... And children ought to be deliberate for...plenty of couples do not plan... now not REALLY plan!!! We must instruct these things in hs, we do not. And as a public college trainer, my apologies, particularly unfair to younger mom and dad who haven't any notion what will occur whilst children input their marriage. Here's what my mama mentioned to me,,, no drilled into my head commencing whilst I used to be thirteen... your niece demands those... she makes a mistake like this now, and he or she'll get to become a member of the legions of unmarried mothers in poverty, for the relaxation of her existence...... a million. The primary selection you'll ever make is who you marry. Choose along with your head as good as your center. two. Have no youngsters till your bond is powerful, and feature not more than you your self can aid. You would possibly simply ought to three. At any and all expenses conclude your schooling to qualify for the ones top paying jobs. It is most probably that you are going to paintings someday for the duration of your marriage, regularly for a long time…. Get paid for it. And consider, your children and your schooling are without end…. Husbands, fans and guarantees don't seem to be!! four. Have a stash of coins nobody is aware of approximately although you're certain you'll certainly not want it. You undoubtedly will, and the extra the larger Good good fortune, hon.

Answer 4

I know you love your sister but you can't make her decisions for her. She needs to make her own mistakes so she can learn from them. If she is marrying this man to keep him in the country there is still alot she is going to have to go through. The government will make sure it is a legitimate marriage and not a marriage of convenience. As for supporting her of course you should be there for her but you don't have to go watch her make her mistake. You need to do what you feel is best for yourself in this situation.

Answer 5

Try to Understand them to complete graduation and take a job that could be better for both of them. and wait for minimum of 3 - 4 years what makes their marriage illegal. But Mind it you have to do it, to make your sister and your family. you can make a long tour make this, I think she needs some change to her mind.
and discuss some activities which can arise some fear from the boy.

Answer 6

why are people so against illegal immigrants? i would like to know your mother's reasons for not liking him. being illegal has nothing to do with how a person is or his/her personality. put urself in his shoes. the crime of murder and coming into a country to improve your life are completely different (unless he actually is a murderer ur impolite and that kind of person. many people just hate illegals because they are just racist.

to answer your question, share your feelings with your sister. try to persuade her to turn the other way. if she doesnt, at least you tried. you can still go to her wedding to show your support. she will need it.

Answer 7

Shes 18 shes determined.Youre not going to change her mind.Just let her know you dont approve, sit back, watch her make the biggest mistake of her life, then watch her learn from her mistake.Or just lock her in a closet.

Answer 8

U acctually cant do anything as she is not able to understand. This makes the saying true, " Love is BLIND".
whatever u say she will feel its just bcoz u dont like him you are saying something crap.....

So think before u act....

Luv and all the best.

Answer 9

if you really think she is making an unwise decision, i would tell her what you think and that you cannot support them and that you feel uncomfortable being their witness. and that if they insist on doing this, they will have to find a different witness because as much as you love her, you do not agree with them getting married.

Answer 10

Call the INS and have him deported before she ruins her life.

Edit: But you said he was illegal. If he is in the country illegally he has already broken a law and can be deported.