he said he doesn't deserve me and wanted me to think whether i'm sure i wanted to be with him for a month. i already posted a question and someone had mentioned that i should be happy he broke up with me. because when i'm 42 he will be about 60. right now i'm 25 and he's 42. you think this might be a reason why he broke up? but he didn't seem to think this when he was persuing me in the beginning!
2007-10-14 15:38:32 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's not about your age difference. It's about something else that you didn't mention. I've dated a man who's 15 years older than me. We got along well for the most part but I'm sure we broke up wasn't because of his age. I wasn't in love with him so it didn't really matter.
2007-10-14 15:43:05 · answer #1 · answered by Notredame 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me as if its him that needs this month to think. He may have had a problem in the past from dating a younger girl. Age is only a number and is not important. I have dated guys younger ( up to 13 years younger) and older than me ( i am 46). The issue I had regarding the younger guy was due to the fact that I had "been there done it" part regarding kids etc. And didnt want him missing out on his own family etc. It wasnt an issue for him.( Must say its a bit different when the age difference is reversed) It may be he wants you to think deeply so that neither of you get hurt later. All I can advise is if you love each other then you will overcome HIS insecurity. There are no guarantees in life so grab your happiness whilst you can. Dont chase him though. I think what you two really need to do Is talk Good luck x
2007-10-14 22:55:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe its just how he says, he feels he doesn't deserve you. you've got to understand, even if he really cares about you he might feel like you deserve to be with people younger than he is. All you have to do is let him know that you do want him and that he does deserve you. Tell him about this, tell him you wanted him back so much you were willing to put up your problem to get any help you could just to get him back and that even when people mentioned the age thing you didn't care. It will go along way trust me... Oh and don't worry about the age thing, if you were 15 and he was 32 then that would be wrong, but you are a legal adult and if this guy is actually special to you then it probably isn't a factor, although he might have got pressure from other people saying it is. As long as he's not some married guy or something you should definately just be honest and straight forward with him that you want him back and tell him how much you love him.
2007-10-14 16:34:21 · answer #3 · answered by scyther_maverick 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think he suddenly started to get in too deep and in the normal selfish manner that guys tend to adopt he decided to make your decisions for you.
I speak from experience. My partner is 25 years older than me. He persued me 11 years ago, but I was in my early twenties and felt the age difference was too much. We remained in contact as just good friends ever since but the initial attraction was still there, and it developed into a relationship over two years ago. Despite taking precautions I fell pregnant. We had huge rows as he did not want the baby, at his age he said he could not support me emotionally and it was not the life he wanted for me and was unfair to the child. Until I fell pregnant I was not interested in having a family, but ironically I lost the baby. The result has been that the long term future has changed. It has made us face that although we love each other it cannot be... and he has told me he loves me enough to let me go, get married and have a family. To the extent he will even make sure that the guy I settle with is a good man. What he doesn't see is I don't want another man.
Try not to get caught in the same situation as me. He is the love of my life, despite his age, but there are other factors to consider, that I never faced when entering into the relationship. I always believed that age was just a number, and did not matter. Its not insurmountable, but very difficult. Perhaps this is why he wanted you to think about it for a month. He sounds as though he feels a stong attraction, but doesn't want to hurt you, or get hurt in the long run. And believe me, whatever you think of each other, it can happen.
Just to let you know, I will never regret being with my Partner, but do wish that the situation was different, and it was him that I could build my life and future with. He is over sixty now, in realistic terms I have to face it is not going to happen. E-mail me if you want.
Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck.
2007-10-14 20:38:59 · answer #4 · answered by rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess what? To begin with, he probably never wanted to pursue a long relationship with you and he's using the age thing! Well, you're young? Take your time and find a man your age with whom you'll make a good life together.
He's 42::: when a "child" comes, at university time, he'll be 70, you think he wants that? He's seeing that already!
Good luck and take care!
2007-10-14 15:44:58 · answer #5 · answered by kayneriend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, that could possibly be the reason.. the best way to find out is to ask him straight.. but first, do you think it might a problem for you.. yeah maybe not now but like you said, when u're 42, he'll be 60... age insecurities are normal in relationships like this.. u need to think if ur fine with it first then ask him if that's a problem for it..
2007-10-14 15:51:09 · answer #6 · answered by Dean O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a man of 59 my opinion is that as you state only age factor-you`ve only got a guy that would seem to care about `you`.
you dopn`t mention finances-or your feelings for each other-by this i mean your `relationship `except ` age difference.
not a lot wrong re: that factor-well you agreed in principle to marry him l8r.
there is a lot of `public opinion`-unfortunately-re: age differences.
my advice would be not to create a problem.
he probably needs reassuring-that you`re `ok`
would also suggest that you tell him to worry about it when something `is` wrong-may never happen.
i wouldn`t go `chasing him` though pet.
after reassuring him -stand back and see what ensues-hand.
2007-10-14 22:35:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there can be hundreds of reasons why he said that....from good to bad......only he knows what REALLY is the reason why he told you that, guessing about it will only further make you wonder about it.....sit down and talk to him seriously about it and if you have no reasons to doubt him, believe what he says. the age different shouldn't be a problem and if it is then that should have been on his mind, before, while pursuing you not, now when he tasted the cookie.
2007-10-14 15:47:41 · answer #8 · answered by mr b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Sounds like your age became an issue.
2007-10-14 16:48:40 · answer #9 · answered by b97st 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he's seeing someone on the side and wanted to give her a chance while he gives you a break.
2007-10-14 15:41:04 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋