Has anyone else noticed that some parents who do not discipline their children have messy homes?

Question

There are three people that I know right off the top of my head who do not discipline their children (they are all young children ages 2 to 7) and their homes are a complete disaster area. Clothes everywhere, food on the floors, toys all over the place, crayon and marker on the walls, etc. The furniture is filthy and worn out. The kids jump off the furniture, stand on top of it, slam doors, go in and out of the refrigerator, etc. Just total chaos.

It just goes to show that if parents allow their children to misbehave and rule them, then the children usually end up terrorizing the home as well. Has anybody else noticed this? Why do some people let their children run ragged like this?

ReBelle - You can still enjoy your children and entertain them without your house looking like the city dump. I am sorry, but not a good form of sarcasm in my opinion.

Answer 1

I have noticed this. I am by far not a neat freak, but my house is never a disaster & I'm also not the perfect parent. But, I have a couple friends who just let their kids do whatever they want & their homes are kinda gross. Not just cluttered & messy, but dirty. I love them but we have playdates at my house!

Answer 2

It's a 50 50 situation there...Me and my fiance, dont always have the cleanest neatest house in the world, but we do have a nice house, one that you can walk into and let you toddler wander around in...We do disapline our 3 and 6 yo, they are now at the stage where they say excuse me before getting up from a table and will take their dishes to the sink. but some days, when there are about 5 kids or so at the house, things go a little crazy, and you can't help the results... Having your children involved is KEY... Teaching them, and not letting every one else do it is KEY>
Now, I do know some one, who, Is after their children all the time, the kids cant play in certain rooms and are always being hollered at and all this and that...and their house is horrible...
I agree with a few above said answers! Its all in the parenting.. You don't have to be completly strict and have a military run home.. and you dont have to let the kids go buck wild...But make sure, no matter what your parenting type is, that you need a 50 50 situation, where you can clean when the kids are doing home work, and you can play and teach them, when you both have free time. So what if there are a few dirty dishes in the sink. theres only an hour left till dark...go out back and swing, im pretty sure you can get those dishes done when you put the kids down for some quiet time...

Answer 3

Don't lie about the time outs eventually the mom will find out and that will be really bad and they'll start questioning what else your not telling them. You sound like a good care taker though! Some parents just don't want anyone else reprimanding their kids which is understandable to a point but this is ridiculous! Imagine that child throwing a tantrum for whatever reason and hurting another child..is it worth it? The mother needs to come to terms with her child's behavior it makes her look bad as well. If she doesn't want to comply I would defiantly make some changes. Try sending out a list of rules and how you handle it, if all the other parents are ok with it then that one parent can get over it or find a different day care. Think of the other children is harms way of flying toys... good luck

Answer 4

i think you'll have to have kids of your own to answer this question. u might find at first that it's a miracle if u get a shower in a day (lol) *see Y! answrs newborn. Everyone is different.

my place was a mess most of the time in our apartment while waiting on the house to be built. probably because after work, we were always up at the job site (new home) or shopping for fixtures, helping with the paint, etc. we were too exhausted to fight with the kids. if company wanted 2 come over, theyd have 2 call 1st or we didn't answer the door)

always considered myself a neat neat freak until kids. sometimes (depending on the kids) you just change your standards

what we did was design a new home so we could contain the damage. now kids have a playroom, so we keep all toys, books, homework, art, etc. in there and we can close the door, keeping the place presentable if company should drop by. We also keep a separate family room (tidy,but not clean) and a formal living room (immaculate) for such occasions.

We are extremely driven career people who sometimes live out of suitcases due to hectic travel schedules, so some days doing housework is out of the question. Other days, we are all working hard getting the place back up to snuff, and I'd say keeping the kids involved in the cleaning is key.

But by no means will I let the need to keep the house immacuate take over my quality of life. It's just not worth it.

And people do say our kids are amazingly well-behaved.

My point is just don't judge until u've gone through it.

Answer 5

I've noticed that too!!! While my house is rarely spotless, it's usually just toys!

But you're right, their children go in and out of the fridge, and I've noticed the crayon on the walls thing too!!! The first time my daughter did it was the last time she did it (not to mention magic eraser takes it off like a charm!).

I think part of it is they just don't care enough. And another part is that since they don't know how to disipline their children, they pretty much just lose it, not knowing what to do when their child destroys the house, and so sick of dealing with it they don't want to anymore.

Blah, some people just need a wake up call.

Answer 6

Yup, I see it all the time. Usually the house is a mess because the children run the house. I often see this in homes with stay at home moms.

Their kids will get bad grades, grow up to be into crime because they never got serious discipline.

When I was in high-school, all the A students had clean homes.

Answer 7

Actually, I've seen both very neat houses and very messy houses produce children of the disciplined and spoiled kind. My house is not filthy at all, though it tends to get messy and my son is a good kid. Yes, I have to follow around his 12 year old butt and remind him that putting away his dinner dish isn't the only responsibility of cleaning up after himself, but he gets off his butt and takes care of business.

I've seen children who live in beautiful, clean houses that are spoiled rotten, who have no respect for anything or anyone. These children cuss and fight with other kids and don't listen to other adults. As well as I have seen this behavior from children who live in messy houses.

It's not, in my opinion, the condition of the house that determines the outcome of the child's behavior, but the condition of the parenting.

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Just like the answerer above me, my son is included in chres and cleaning up on the weekends. He has to do the bathroom, garbage and keep his room neat. Like I said, it's the parenting more then what the house looks like.

Answer 8

Sorry i disagree with that i discpline my children and i have the odd pen mark on the walls or toys on the floor its natural to have a mess with children. I am house proud i like my house clean and tidy but i prefer to have a happy medium i want time with my kids i also want a clean safe house.

Answer 9

It doesnt sound like these parents discipline themselves either. However, while I think a sign of neglect can be a filthy home, I dont think its a definite. For an example, an OCD person, strict on cleanliness, might not make the best parent either.

Answer 10

Have you ever noticed that stereotypes may apply to some situations but are really just the way people try to make themselves feel superior over others?

http://ncane.com/awm
Stereotypes are ideas about people of other particular groups, based primarily on membership in that group. They may be positive or negative prejudicial, and may be used to justify certain discriminatory behaviors. Some people consider all stereotypes to be negative. Stereotypes are rarely completely accurate, based on some kernel of truth, or completely fabricated. Different disciplines give different accounts of how stereotypes develop: Psychologists focus on how experience with groups, patterns of communication about the groups, and intergroup conflict. Sociologists focus on the relations among groups and position of different groups in a social structure. Psychoanalytically-oriented humanists have argued (e.g., Sander Gilman) that stereotypes, by definition, are never accurate representations, but a projection of an individual's fears onto others, regardless of the reality of others. Although stereotypes are rarely entirely accurate, statistical studies have shown that in some cases stereotypes do represent measurable facts.