Even after a lot of time has passed.....even after therapy, self-help, moving on with life in every other way.
2007-10-14 15:01:14 · 42 answers · asked by abbacat 5 in Health ➔ Mental Health
WOW, I can't believe all the wonderful answers and how nice you all are. I'm going to have to put this to a vote because I can't choose just one. Thanks to every one of you for taking the time to help me. Many Blessings!
2007-10-16 15:31:22 · update #1
Find something to divert your attention whenever you start to think about the person.
If you sit around thinking about the person all the time, you will never get over them.
It's up to you at this point.
2007-10-14 15:05:01 · answer #1 · answered by CGIV76 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Time, my dear. While you are recovering, do some nice things for yourself, like maybe those facials, or that execise you wanted, but you were too wrapped up in someone who obviously didn't appreciate you. Goodbye always hurts, but I promise you that you will love again. Sure it won't be the same, but the good news is that you will love someone new for different reasons. Make sure that you do take recovery time, and don't get back in the game too soon. I read some great articles about this very subject at californiapsychics.com. Don't get mixed up in that psychic crap; only God knows your future. The articles, however, are very good. There are several that I think will help you; just click on the ones that may apply to your particular situation.
Also, to help you when you're feeling up to getting back into circulation, check out datingwithoutdrama.com. Paige Parker has some awesome advice, as do her colleagues, Mimi Tanner, and Amy Waterman. There's another realtionship expert out of Atlanta, as well. His name eludes me at this moment, but the address for his website is www. relationshipheadquarters.com, or you can find him via thewomenmenadore.com You'll be well equipped next time out, sweetie; smarter and stronger, so you keep that upper hand!! Best of luck to you!!
2007-10-14 15:23:24 · answer #2 · answered by Dielorilei 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I also feel this way... it sucks... and puts a halt on other relationships from progressing. I try to do things that I have always wanted to do in life. That way, for whatever reason, I feel like I have really accomplished alot in life with or without him. I really want to be with him... however, I don't need him to keep on livin'! Also, I have forgiven him and myself for some of the mistakes made in the relationship which caused the break up... I still miss him, but when I forgave, I was a heck of alot happier. Maybe you could try this too if you haven't already. Just know that there are others out there who have gone through what you have... and you will get through it too. Good luck.
2007-10-14 15:53:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we hold on to feelings because we are so afraid of feeling nothing. While I don't think we even realize this I think we at times hold on to old feelings just so we can feel something - anything - even if it hurts. Also - when you love someone deeply - when that love and those feelings are real it is almost impossible to not keep a tiny bit of that love with us. This is not such a bad thing - if - IF - we recognize it for what it is - a bit of left over memories that remind us of someone who is gone. However - in order to go on with our lives we must recognize that even with those residual memories we are capable of loving just as deeply just as strong and as wonderful as before. The most amazing thing is when you realize the new love you have may be stronger, deeper and most importantly, happier!!!
This bit of armchair therapy is only that - but I hope it helps. Best advice? Don't try to stop feeling - just understand how immense your capacity for love really is and open your heart.
I wish you many many blessings
God bless
fishergirl
2007-10-14 15:17:32 · answer #4 · answered by fishergirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1.For me, ultimately, the best way to overcome my heart breaks has been realizing why things didn't work out. I try to think of all the reasons things didn't work out. I also try to think of all the things I didn't like about my ex. If you can come to the conclusion that you can find someone better, then you are better off.
2.Recently I took the time to examine several relationships and came to the conclusion I was dating the same type of girl over and over again. You might be dating the same person over and over again too. If you can come to the conclusion that you're dating a different version of the same person everytime you get in a relationship, write a list of qualities you like that were not found in former partners. It can be very calming to relize that you aren't a bad person, but just that you've been dating the wrong type.
3. Don't lock yourself up inside and mope. In fact go out and meet as many people as possible. Join a club, go to a convention, go to a friend's party, or get involved in volunteer work. The more people you meet , the more chances a prospective relationship will come in to your life. Also you're bound to meet people that you think you're more compatible with than your ex. Even if you don't date any of them, you can feel a lot better knowing there are people out there you'd be happier with.
2007-10-14 16:39:52 · answer #5 · answered by Jonathon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgive him.
I found that when I was really hurt by someone.
I took a look at the emotions I was feeling and I replaced each one with the opposite emotion through prayer.
I prayed for the person who hurt me, and I prayed that God would replace the hurt with peace, I asked God to bless that person, to give me a sense of peace towards that person, and as I prayed that prayer, I felt the emptiness and the anger and hurt go away. The key here is to forgive that person and to focus on caring about the other person. When you do, it's amazing how that emptiness will be filled with joy once again.
It's definitely okay to care about that person, and by stopping the hurt and anger, you will allow healing and can move on with your life. But you have to be willing to give up the pain, and anger, the resentment, and the bitterness. Why this works is because you are focusing on the other person and lifting them up instead of focusing on your own hurt and needs.
When you finally let go, you will find that you will even be able to have a civilized and kind conversation with that person.
2007-10-14 15:11:58 · answer #6 · answered by Searcher 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through this as well and what I have come to realize is that if they broke up with you, then they cannot or could not realize what they had with you. Finding someone to take their place can be extremly difficult and depressing, but do not give up hope. I promise it will take time and if you are not willing to wait, it is doubtful you will find that perfect person for you. Love is a wonderful part of life, don't let someone else ruin for you again.
2007-10-14 22:20:42 · answer #7 · answered by Sesil 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends how old you are and whther or not you were in a long term relationship
My best bet is to go out there and met new people it's the best thing you can do. Sitting at hoem and constantly thinking about the person won't help and sometimes therapy just makes you think about them more.Just meet new people if your in school to extra curricular activities. If your out of school go to some club or atr gallery etc. and meet new people to get your mindoff of things
2007-10-14 15:06:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to keep yourself occupied. Exercise and diet, classes of interest, reading, TV/movies, being with friends and family, vacations (if possible), etc. Keep up with the therapy and self-help...they do work, but not overnight.
If you have any talents (writing, art, musical, etc) USE THEM. If you can teach something to others--TEACH THEM. If there is a cause that is dear to your heart--VOLUNTEER your TIME to it!!
I know it takes what seems like forever, but have some (more) patience--things WILL work out. Just keep healthy and busy.
2007-10-14 15:06:50 · answer #9 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Time. I was living with my fiance when he cheated on me and got another woman pregnant. I was devastated. For 4 months I was in a fog. Depressed, not eating, crying all the time. One day I was driving out of town to visit a friend of mine and I realized that I had freedom to go where and when I wanted without having to answer to anyone. I was young (23) when this happened, and I was so glad this happened before we actually got married.
2007-10-14 15:07:11 · answer #10 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem.You just have to push through this time. Get to meeting someone new.Weed out the undesirables.I think about my ex GF everyday going over what was said what could have changed it for the better ,mistakes made,good times,its hard but I did it.
Hugs to you.
2007-10-14 15:08:14 · answer #11 · answered by thresher 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋