A non-affectionate mother?

Question

If someone was raised and their mother was just not affectionate whatsoever, such as;

said "I love you" maybe 3 times ever....never gave hugs or kisses, and overall no affection etc...but not alot of abusive behaviour per say.

Out of curiousity, would that have any effect on the child later in life?

Answer 1

I would think that could go one of two ways. Either the child would grow to be very affectionate to his or her children because they know how hurtful not getting it was. Or they could turn out just like their Mom. And that last possibility would be very sad...everyone needs to be shown love and kindness ... especially a child.

Answer 2

ABSOLUTELY!!!
Children learn from their parents.
With few examples of demonstrated affection, how will the child ever know how, or when it's appropriate to give hugs, kisses, or to say "I LOVE YOU"?

This is something that can blossom into a HUGE problem later in life.

Just look at the childhood of the mother in question. I'll bet she had a childhood with very little demonstrated affection as well.

Answer 3

My mom wasn't affectionate ever. To this day it effects me. I am a parent now of 2 girls. I have to remind myself everyday to hug them & SHOW affectiion. It is something I have a hard time with, and I think it is from my youth. My mom never wanted affection. She would rather be left alone. So, that's what I learned. I still do this today, w/ my kids & in relationships want to be "left alone". Its not that I don't love them I just want to be not bothered.

Answer 4

Of course it would. That describes my mother to a T. She was affectionate till I was about 7, and then it stopped. My big brother told me that she was this way with all of us kids.

I grew up feeling inadquate and "dumb". It took my husband a lot of years to teach me better than that. And even so, looking at an old photo of me as a young woman the other day, my husband pointed out that I was a very pretty girl. Funny, I never knew that.

Answer 5

Well, the child would probably not show affection to friends, but that's just how some people are. There's plenty of other ways to show people you love them other than just hugs or kisses or saying "I love you." You can be there for them or smile, or even giving material things is a way to show affection.

Answer 6

That would depend if she showed her love in different ways. Some people have a hard time telling others their feelings. The mother was probably raised in a home that didn't show emotion, so it is hard for her.

Answer 7

Hello, my mom was like that........ when we would try to give hugs...... she would say, get off me...... etc........ now, I work very hard not to be that way with my two children........ and I do have to work at it, I have to consciously think about it...... also, because our mom was horrible......... we , my sister and I work very hard to be good mothers........... we probably over compensate because our mom was so horrid........

My sister and I are pretty 'normal'........ whatever normal means now days.......... however, my little sister who was basically ignored growing up, no direction really, has chosen not to have children.... she is 35

In other words........ I don't think any adverse affects other than to say, we would never do that to our own children, thus changing a behavior.........

Answer 8

I think it doesn't really matter as long as the child isn't one of those kids who needs loads of attention to be happy. I know I am not. I prefer to be alone and I find it awkward when my mother does that. I dunno I don't like it. It may effect how they raise their children.

Answer 9

None. My family is just like that, but I know that they love me.

Answer 10

IT DEPENDS ON THE CHILD.SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST NOT AFFECTIONATE.IT DOE SN`T MEAN THEY DON`T LOVE YOU.