Can I do this as a Jehovah's Witness?

Question

My friend wants to get married and she has been baptized for 3 or 4 years and she wants to get married to a guy who is not yet baptized but will be. I say he will be because he is doing very well spiritually and it is only a matter of time before he gets baptized. What I wanted to know is: When he gets baptized, is there a recommended time for her to wait before she can marry him? If there is, Is it something she has to do or suggested to do? Will it be hard for her to find an elder or officiant for her wedding because of this? Are there any printed articles that address this issue? If so, can you include the link? I just want to help her out because she seems torn about this and I just want to give her spiritual advice and not my opinion. Any info you can give me would help. Thank You very much. (I will assume you are a witness if you attach articles from the watchtower that supports my question)

She is not going to marry him unless he is baptized. Therefore, there is no need for people to say that she shouldn't be with him if he isn't baptized. She knows that. What she wants to know is how long must she wait after and what article support your answer

Answer 1

The short answer is no, there is no official recommendation for the interval between one's baptism and one's marriage to another Jehovah's Witness. Ideally, the matter should be discussed with local elders who are familiar with local sensibilities and with the individuals involved.

Of course, Jehovah's Witnesses do not require or even recommend that the formalization of a wedding involve the congregation, although the congregation would surely appreciate the opportunity to share in the couple's joy. Still, a wedding by a governmental agent or other authorized agent is entirely acceptable to Jehovah God and true Christians (such as Jehovah's Witnesses).


Among Jehovah's Witnesses in the United States, it seems likely that an officiating elder will prefer that both bride and groom will have established consistent meeting attendance and ministry participation for four to six months after their baptisms. While an individual elder might agree to officiate earlier than that, perhaps the congregation would hesitate to allow its Kingdom Hall to be used for a wedding for a Christian of just a few weeks (yet the ceremony can be held at any dignified location).

The publications of Jehovah's Witnesses discuss the spiritual aspects of marriage preparation in terms of one's godly personality and godly habits. A person who has become spiritually prepared for marriage has not merely waited for the passage of a certain number of weeks or months, but has taken advantage of the opportunity to learn and concentrate on developing his own personal relationships with God and Christ. While it seems quite possible for a new convert to make dramatic progress in four to six months, only a person familiar with the individuals involved can decide whether he is comfortable officiating at the convert's marriage to a fellow Christian.

Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/20020208/diagram_01.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/19990215/article_01.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/19990215/article_02.htm

Answer 2

Hi. Is there any reason why she does not consult with an elder in her congregation? Is there a problem there? Also, when we wait and do things God's way the end result is more fruitful than not. If the guy is not baptised, why not? Why won't he get baptised?

It is best to be equally yoked when marrying and I would let her know to definitely be sure her mate is baptised first and then even after that, give it a little bit of time, like a year or longer. What is a year to wait? I know there are not too many good men in the earth but this will be a test of love and dedication to Jehovah too between the two, you know? If he and she still love one another after the year or so, by all means marry if it's still on the plate to do so.

I do not reccommend marriage before he is baptised. I am very strong on this point. I know some single women in the congregations would like to snatch up a good man and quickly marry because everyone else like other single women will want to be married also, but if there is love and the wantonness to do things Jehovah's way between the two then nothing can come between them. They will have stood the test of time so to speak.

Wait until at least a year and during that time they can both be planning their wedding and reception, where it's going to take place, saving money for refreshments and getting certain appropriate witnesses (singers) to perform at the wedding, like beautiful love songs and Kingdom music. It's so beautiful. Appropriate dance music, like that. Prep while they wait, baptism first.

PASS means:

Prayer
Association
Service
Study

Do they both encompass all of these quality requirements in their daily lives?

Answer 3

Hi, I am a Witness, sorry I don't attach links much.

No there is no hard and fast rule for marrying someone simply based on if they are baptized yet or not, or how long they have been baptized, aside from the scriptural principle of Marrying only in the Lord.

I know some believe you should wait at least a few months to see if the person is serious or not.

Hope this helps.

Answer 4

we can be blinded by whats around the corner when we rush things... I'm a parent in a similar situation. Get a trusted elder to help you , him and parents involved to come to an understanding of what is god's view point on the matter and law out the ground work thats needed to ensure a positive, yet meaning arraingment. wait 6 months after his baptism to make your interests known then wait a year, pray and hope nothing changes for either one of you.. tell ur friend to stay focused the reward is worthwhile!

Answer 5

I would definitely wait at least a year before you get married. Someone who is spiritually reborn needs time to "prove" yourself to others. I'm not saying that you can't fall away after a year, but within a year you have had to overcome some obstacles within your spirituality and you won't be a baby christian anymore (if you continue praying and reading the bible). I'm not a JW, but I hope this helps. Blessings and Light.

Answer 6

Jehovah God wanted us to use his name. Matthew 6:9, Jesus told us that we should pray: "Our Father in the heavens, let your NAME be SANCTIFIED." Also Isaiah 43:10 also brings out that Jehovah said, "You are my WITNESSES." God is a Title. Even with Arabs. A good dictionary will show you, “Allah” is a shortened form of the Arabic term meaning “the god", this is not a name. The title “God” is neither personal nor distinctive. In the Hebrew Scriptures the same word (ʼElo‧him′) is applied to Jehovah, the true God, and also to false gods. The Imperial Bible-Dictionary says: “It is everywhere a proper name, denoting the personal God and him only; whereas Elohim partakes more of the character of a common noun, denoting usually, indeed, but not necessarily nor uniformly, the Supreme. . . . The Hebrew may say the Elohim, the true God, in opposition to all false gods; but he never says the Jehovah, for Jehovah is the name of the true God only. He says again and again my God . . . ; but never my Jehovah, for when he says my God, he means Jehovah. He speaks of the God of Israel, but never of the Jehovah of Israel, for there is no other Jehovah. He speaks of the living God, but never of the living Jehovah, for he cannot conceive of Jehovah as other than living.” Hope This Helps

Answer 7

most elders would be hesitant about marrying them because he is not baptized. Why can't she wait? Even if i waited i would never be able to marry the one i love, she is a lucky girl

Jehovah witness girls always in a hurry to tie the knot

LMAO, she knows she shouldn't be with him, but she did anyway

Prov. 13:12

Answer 8

I am a Witness. I was in your friends position, except I was the one getting baptised. Tell your friend to wait. They suggest 6 months after Baptism. I waited 2 weeks. She also should wait just to make sure he is coming into the truth for Jehovah and not her. May sound romantic but in a year if he changes his mind it may be rough for her. The elders would ask them to wait a little longer. so hope well for you and your friend.

Answer 9

Challenges Facing Single Christians

7 Many servants of Jehovah long to be married but have not yet found a suitable mate. In some lands, there is strong social pressure to marry. Yet, opportunities to meet a potential mate among fellow believers may be few. (Proverbs 13:12) Christians recognize, though, that heeding the Biblical injunction to marry “only in the Lord” is a matter of loyalty to Jehovah. (1 Corinthians 7:39) To stand firm against the pressures and temptations that they face, single Christians must keep their senses completely.

8 In the Song of Solomon, a simple country girl called the Shulammite attracts the attention of the king. He woos her with an impressive display of wealth, prestige, and charm, although she is already in love with a young man. (Song of Solomon 1:9-11; 3:7-10; 6:8-10, 13) If you are a Christian woman, you too may find yourself the object of someone’s unwanted attention. A person at your place of employment, perhaps someone in a position of authority, may begin to pay you compliments, do you favors, and seek opportunities to be with you. Be wary of such flattering attention. Although such a person’s intentions are not always romantic or immoral, oftentimes they are. Like the Shulammite maiden, be “a wall.” (Song of Solomon 8:4, 10) Firmly reject unwanted advances. Make it known to your workmates from the very start that you are one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and take every opportunity to witness to them. That will serve as a protection for you.

9 Internet Web sites designed to help single individuals find a marriage partner are becoming popular. Some view these as a way to get to know people whom they would not otherwise meet. However, blindly entering into a relationship with a stranger involves real dangers. On the Internet, it can be difficult to distinguish fact from fiction. (Psalm 26:4) Not everyone who claims to be a servant of Jehovah really is. Moreover, with online dating, a strong attachment can develop quickly, and that can distort one’s judgment. (Proverbs 28:26) Whether via the Internet or by some other means, it is unwise to cultivate a close relationship with a person whom one knows very little about.—1 Corinthians 15:33.

10 Jehovah “is very tender in affection” for his servants. (James 5:11) He knows that the challenges facing Christians who are involuntarily single are at times disheartening, and he treasures their loyalty. How can others encourage them? We should regularly commend them for their obedience and self-sacrificing spirit. (Judges 11:39, 40) We can also include them in arrangements for upbuilding association. Have you done that recently? Moreover, we can pray for them, asking Jehovah to help them keep their spiritual balance and find joy in serving him. By our sincere interest, may we show that we appreciate these loyal ones as Jehovah does.—Psalm 37:28.

Answer 10

Baptism is just the outward show to other people that you are dedicating your life to God. If the Jehovah's Witnesses place rules and limitations on people about when they should get married, they are taking the place of God - which is wrong. This is between your friend, her fiance or boyfriend (?) and God. His heart is in the right place if He loves God and being baptized doesn't mean you are better than someone else. Which means that she is placing more importance on the act than on the spiritual love of God in his heart.