My Boyfriend and I have been dating for a while, and we are expecting our first child together on May of 08. He also has other child with a younger female. I sometimes wonder if she still wants to be him? I feel she does at times by the amount of times she calls him. But I'm with him almost 24/7 and when I’m not I trust him. (She cheated on him so I know he doesn't want her) But hey all I can do is have trust right....... But my worry’s come in that he hasn't told her about me and the baby. And his excuse is that he doesn't want to create drama with him and her and his little girl. But dang how is that suppose to make me feel. It's been on my mind for sometime...and wants to know what ppl think about this situation. Should I bring it up to him are just let it play it's self out. The relationship is great besides this.....Please only answer the question at hand and please don't pass judgment because no one is god nor perfect. Thank you for all of you guys responses.
2007-10-14 14:01:12 · 8 answers · asked by vikkilynn5454 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes his family knows about me I'm around the house 24.7 and yes the other baby girls knows who I am.
2007-10-14 14:11:41 · update #1
If this guy is "afraid" of his ex girlfriend, you are pregnant and the ex girlfriend doesn't know his life situation, there is a problem.
he isn't being honest with her, so why do you think he will continue to be honest with YOU? he has to tell her sooner or later.
just because she cheated on him doesn't mean anything. people who are scared of their own shadow (like he is) will put up with anything.
watch your back and take care of YOU...
2007-10-14 14:12:09 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend and his ex ( as well as you and your boyfriend, after the baby is born ) should go to family court and settle visitation legally. Your boyfriend shouldn't let an ex control his life.(Trust me, I know) She can't deny visitation because her child's father has moved on with you and is now having another child. It's illegal. Besides why would she do that to the child? Tell your boyfriend to go to the family court in your town and file a petition for visitation/ custody. You and your boyfriend should really also consider doing this after the baby is born. (Unless your are getting married before the baby is born.) You will probably stay together but god forbid that down the line you do separate, At least things will be set up and when they were set up things were done peacefully and when both of you were thinking straight. Your boyfriend shouldn't be afraid of what the ex thinks or what she might do. Sooner or later the other child will be talking about you in front of he mother, so it's bound to come out. Have your boyfriend get visitation legally. Hopefully, both of you will do the same after the baby is born.
2007-10-14 14:24:03 · answer #2 · answered by kellylee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are making a HUGE mistake here.
He may not be cheating on you in the traditional sense.
But his relationship with her isn't completely resolved yet.
The fact that he doesn't want to upset her with the news about you is a BIG RED FLAG!
He doesn't want to upset her, because her being upset would UPSET HIM!!!! (Doesn't that upset you?)
His thoughts should be only about YOU, & HIM, & your baby, & yes OK, the child he has with her, BUT NOT HER!
When a person develops emotional ties to someone, you can't just shut them off with the flick of a switch.
He may think that she threw the switch off for him when he caught her cheating, but he still has it on for her. His intentions may be honourable, but the fact is, he went into another relationship (with you) before he was over her. Now he's just fooling himself, & you are letting him bring you along for the ride too.
This is a mess! Either stay in it, & get more crap thrown on you, or get out until he can sort out his part in this for himself.
He will probably need some serious councelling to help him realize that you can't build a new relationship with another person until you are standing on firm ground yourself.
(That goes for you too sister)
He obviously took a hard hit when he found his ex gf cheating on him, & he's still shaken from it.
He picked you up on the rebound, & now that's the kind of relationship you are in with him.
Not advisable!
Too bad you are bringing a child into the mix.
Just makes a mess that's already a mess, as messy as it can get!
2007-10-14 14:33:43 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Emotions can be so tricky... sad fact is that there are just some people even if they were cheated on by their girlfirneds somehow they still canT just easily forget her... May I know if how long were they separated before you became steady??? Im just concern because there are times people go to another relationship hoping to forget or get over someone... ( I hope not with you case )
Maybe if he is not yet comfortable saying your real relationship with him then give him time but you should also have some patience or if possible strengthen yourself because it is not easy to be a "hidden" gf.
2007-10-14 14:31:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would be upset that I was "hidden." Doesn't he have family around that would have known about this and perhaps told her anyway?
I guess it is his decision to make, but I guess he feels guilty for not being with his other child. Does he get visitation or is this not a child from a marriage? If he DOES get visitation, make sure he knows she's welcome there anytime. Bite the bullet and be kind. The child is innocent in all this.
2007-10-14 14:06:26 · answer #5 · answered by barb j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to say something. This does involve both of his children. He needs to man up. Does his other child know about you even? Do they know they have a brother or sister on the way? I think he is being an idiot.
2007-10-14 14:06:02 · answer #6 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems odd he is hiding your relationship doesn't it? He really needs to be upfront with her a little drama now will save alot worse later on. Speak with him about how you feel he has to tell her about you........But see....I am evil. I would tell her myself so don't listen to me :)
2007-10-14 14:14:56 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move Away. Far Far away.
2007-10-14 14:24:15 · answer #8 · answered by astrolame 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋