A question for the men: Is there every a time when you want to "take it slow?"?

Question

I've been seeing this guy for maybe a month now and he isn't trying to sleep with me. Never in my experience has this happened. The other night, we were fooling around and he suddenly asks me if I want to watch a movie (and unfortunately he wasn't talking porn). I was shocked, so I backed off big time. Then he starts explaining himself, saying that he wants to take things slow, that he doesn't take sex lightly, yadda yadda yadda.

What do I make of this? Is there something he's trying to hide, performance related, or could there be a better alternative explanation? (ie, one that doesn't make me want to end this now). He's a great guy, and were he great in the sack, I could definitely see myself with him. But the fear of the unknown is driving me crazy.

Any advice?


(Oh, I should mention, we're both in our upper 20's...ie, too old for this kind of silliness!)

Totally fascinated by the responses so far...keep 'em coming!!!

Answer 1

there could be many reasons --- why not stick with the one he gives --- he may see the budding relationship as something he wants to continue long term and does not want to complicate it too early ---- why not sit down and really talk to each other about what you are thinking --- i would suggest that he is considering all the comments from places such as this where the ladies look down at a guy that only wants sex --- he wants more ---- i can understand as i would wait as long as my lady wanted before consumating --- and im a lot older than most people here ---- best wishes

Answer 2

You defining this as "silliness" is probably the reason he's hesitant about having sex with you. I don't care how old or young you are: respect people's sexual boundaries. If the sex thing is really that big of an issue for you (I'm not saying it's wrong to feel that way if it is; different people regard sex in different ways), then this is probably not the guy for you. He doesn't want to wait until marriage or anything, but he's probably feeling a bit unsure as to where you stand as far as commitment goes; and he probably won't feel comfortable sleeping with you until he knows you're already into him. Despite what television and popular culture and socially constructed definitions of masculinity would have you believe, it IS okay for a guy to not want to have sex at every opportunity he gets.

Answer 3

Maybe he thinks if he takes it, "too fast:", you'll throw him out for being too forward...Maybe he thinks you could be the one, and he doesn't want to mess anything up, like maybe he has already done before. That's the main problem between women and men these days in this sick world of denial and twisting one's sex drive to suit their own selfish purposes, and the one main problem I've ever had ...
Maybe it is time, if you want to see porn, get it on with him, etc., time you took the initiative and elicited some physical contact yourself. You can get a" Blockbuster" card, too, and we are all grown up as well.