What are some good ways to raise your children right..also do you believe in spanking..?

Question

I don't have children right but I want to in a few years. What are some good ways to raise polite and well mannered children? I don't want my kids to be the type to talk back and throw fits and then just let them away with it. So anyone with good advice, let me no some good teqniques.
Also do you believe in a spanking once in awhile? My parents did me once and awhile because I was bad the odd time. I know a lot of parents that do and they say it helps a lot and that sometimes verbal talk is not enough. They also explained to me how it says in the bible that a spanking once and awhile is what children need. What do you parents think?

Answer 1

Raise a child in the ways he/she should go.

Bring them up in the nurture and teachings of the Lord.

Follow the teachings of the Book of Deuteronomy chapters 5 & 6

Do I believe in spanking? It sure ain't fun. It is a way of very quickly conveying a message to the brain via the backside. It is something that should be used rarely.
Certainly it should not be a "first" resort but, I think, neither a "last" resort for that implies it might be so severe that there would be no misbehavior later. Rather, seems to me, a "spanking" is just ONE method of punishment, And that punishments should be rarely needed.
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Answer 2

well i depends on the kid because some kids will take it personally and end up afraid of you and no i do not spank.
i just come down to their level look them straight in the eyes and tell them to stop and tell them what they are doing wrong and then I'll send them to time out and if they get out that's more time added on.
and sometimes I've seen it happen before parents end up spanking there kids and then they find a huge bruise there where u slapped them and then they just go into this zone where they never want to spank there child again.
and really if you want ur child to behave badly in the first place set some ground rules for ur children and tell them the consequences if they don't listen and tell them the rewards that they will get if they behave well, so then when you make goals for them they would want to try to reach them so they can make u proud of them.
and don't ever be a push over to ur kids because then they will take advantage of you and come out to be just horrible

a lady i know has 3 kids of her own she is such a push over,
her oldest daughter was raped when she was a child so she lets her off easy and she's now this really nasty person to be around she used to drink and she was only 14 (she's now 15)
she somkes (still), she had sex with the neighborhood boys when she was only 13 she (did it) with older guys, she was robbing grocery stores, she was talking back to her mom she was throwing house parties while her mom was gone, and she gets $200 in allowance a week (spoiled little brat), who by the way is not setting a good example for her little sister and brother.
then there is the second daugter she's a daemon child and she admits all the time that she's a brat and a wigger (a white person who trys to act black) . and she yells and swears at her mom and she's only 11.
then there is her son who is such a momma's boy
and he gets really annoying. (he's 8-9 )

Answer 3

Raising well-mannered children - be well-mannered yourself. In the long run, they're going to pattern your behavior. My oldest is three and a lot of times he says "please" and "thank you" on his own - if he does not, I gently remind him.

As far as throwing fits - kids are smart. If they figure out that the fits don't work - they don't get, say, that cookie they want if they throw a tantrum - then they will really be rare, in general.

We have spanked before (last resort), but we're really starting to not use that at all - I don't think it's as effective as other things - timeouts are more effective as its TORTURE for kids to be still and not play for a couple of minutes! We also take away things - certain toys - when they don't behave.

Answer 4

Giving them love.
Attention.
and discipline.

If they don't feel love and attention, they will most likely become depressed.

If they aren't disciplined, then they will run all over you.. The backtalking.. Fits... being a spoiled brat who thinks everything should be handed to them.. And no, it isn't child abuse to punish your kids (I've heard people actually say that.. anything other than "talking" to your child is 'child abuse').

I do believe in spanking, but only if it's not used too much. When it is used a lot, and for everything a child does, then they become immune to it, and it doesn't phase them a bit anymore. I think spanking should only be used in serious cercumstances. Like running out infront of a car, putting themselves in danger in general. A spanking for those things will hurt a lot less than being ran over (and possibly killed), or whatever the case is.

I also believe in spanking if a child says "mom, dad, go f--- yourself! you mothaeffin whore!" (My friend has said that to his mother... She has never spanked him, because it was "child abuse". never even grounded him. Only time outs...)
but if you discipline your child enough when they are younger, there should be no problem as bad as that. I know I never said anything like that to my dad.


Good luck when you have children.

Answer 5

I believe the best way to raise your children into being good people is by forming a good relationship with them. When they are young, you need to discipline them by setting clear boundaries between right and wrong and giving them time-outs when necessary. Also teach them to be compassionate and understand others feelings by comparing their feelings to someone elses, so if they call you a mean name, they understand that it hurts you. Do not spank them or hurt them in any way though, it will only scare them and make them resent you a bit.
When they get older, talk to them and get them to communicate with you so you are not only their parent, but their friend. That way, you know they will come to you if something is wrong and will get the advice they need.
As for the bible, I'd go with the compassionate notes instead. Love your kids and they will love you back.

Answer 6

Sounds like your parents did a good job. That sounds like the same way I did my son. You teach a child by living right yourself. When you tell your child to do something, don't just yell at him if he doesn't do it.I spoke to my son, if he ignored me , I smacked him on the seat of his pants and when he turned, I told him again(in case he hadn't heard me). This was form the very beginning and it never altered. He seldom disobeyed me or ignored me. When he got a little older(7 or 8) I told him that if he ever believed I was in the wrong to talk to me. Mothers are not Always Right you know. We discussed things but if after the discussion, I really still thought I was right, he had to do what I said. There were a few times I jumped to fast and had to admit I was wrong. He is a grown man with children of his own. He has always made me proud.Trying to raise his kids to be the best that they can be.

Answer 7

To get respect, you need to show respect. That's a big thing. Second is to ENFORCE THE RULES. So many parents do not do so, which is why we have so many kids who know how to step all over their parents. Last is to give lots of love and affection. Not hard.
As for spanking...i have my own opinions on it. I'm sick of the debate about it, hearing some parents say its abuse and others who use it all the time. You use it as a punishment, good for you. If you don't, great. I think there are other ways to punish a kid, but that's just my opinion. Do what yout think is best.
The last piece of advice I can give you is to do WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST FOR YOUR CHILDREN. Don't worry what others say. They're not your kids parents.
Best Wishes

Answer 8

When I was a kid I went to a Private school and my parents had me enrolled in etiquette classes. I also had to take art classes and play an instrument. They also involved me with church, equestrian, and sports. I didnt want to do any of it, but now, Im glad I did because I realize that manners are super important. But basically, you should raise them however you want. I was spanked, and I came out great. But I'm not a parent, I am just a kid who was raised right.

Answer 9

It's EXCELLENT your taking the time for these thoughts NOW rather then later. I strongly suggest your "life partner" share your values. I do believe that raising children you must be VERY strict in the beginning, all the while loosening the boundaries slowly as they prove their trustworthiness to you. We do believe in spanking, simple enough IT WORKS. Although I don't need to explain why it works, you already know from your childhood. Just remember save spanking for more serious offenses, and use timeouts and taking toys away for lessor infractions.

Answer 10

Hitting children is only a way for parents to convey that they don't have the intelligence to parent effectively without resorting to violence to "get the child's attention." It just isn't necessary if a parent actually DOES parent. Behavior and reward, setting rules and assigning privileges, praising/accentuating the positive while not ignoring but not accentuating negative behavior. Consistency, time outs DO work but the parents have to be willing to give it time to work. It won't happen overnight. could take days, weeks or months. Investing in a child gate is a good idea, great for long drawn out overly dramatic tantrums. Put the gate in the bedroom doorway of the child and place the child in their room where they can tantrum to their hearts content. If the act up in public remove them from the are, take them home and if you must hire a baby sitter a few times when you leave letting them know that IF they were to behave properly they could go with you. My daughter LOVED going to the mall and just window shopping, it was almost a daily outing for us. One day she threw a tantrum and I took her home and wouldn't let her go with me when I went for a few months. When I decided to take her she was an ANGEL and continued to be so from then on. I even had people stop me and ask what kind of "programming" I did on her to get her to behave. Things like video games, television, etc are not necessities in a child's life so they should be privileges. When the child behaves and follows the rules they EARN a privilege. I gave an hour of video or television or game time.